Yoshiwara House
Kouheiko, Kamiko, and Ioriko made their grand return!
Kamiko looked at her flawless reflection in the mirror and nodded in satisfaction. She was now the very image of a beautiful Showa-era woman—no way anyone would suspect she was a guy!
Well… except for the squinty eyes. That was still kind of a giveaway. But everything else? Perfect!
Once she put on sunglasses, she'd be able to resume her Tokyo adventure in peace.
Though honestly, kimono and sunglasses was kind of a weird combo… she'd have to check out a clothing store later.
"Are we really going with this…?"
Standing beside her was a cold, elegant beauty in an orange kimono.
That was Kouheiko!
Unlike his maid look, Kouhei gave off a cool, aloof vibe in traditional wear. You could say it was a flawless transformation too.
Both of them were naturally good-looking types, so even in female attire, they didn't look awkward at all—if anything, they outshined most actual women.
Kamiko firmly believed: whether dressed as a man or a woman, she was the absolute peak of pab's beauty!
Seeing Kouheiko's worried expression, Kamiko patted her flat chest.
"Don't worry, Kouheiko. Don't underestimate the power of Asian dark arts! In other people's eyes, we're drop-dead gorgeous right now!"
Miss Tsukuyo nodded in agreement. Her instincts had been right—Kamishirou in a dress really was stunning.
Now all he needed was one surgery to become a true courtesan!
Despite Kamiko's confidence, Kouhei still looked uneasy. As someone who knew makeup, he understood that they looked totally convincing now.
But…
His gaze drifted over to Ioriko…
No, wait!
You couldn't call that Ioriko anymore!
He looked more like… the corpse-makeup beast!
Same makeup and everything!
(′-ι_-｀)
"I really tried my best with that one…"
Because Iori's masculine features were far too prominent, simply putting him in women's clothing still carried considerable risk.
As for why he wasn't recognized at the café back then…
Come on, think about who was in that café!
Yamamoto, for one, is the kind of guy who wouldn't even hesitate to mess with a makeup zombie!
To avoid being exposed, Kamashiro had gone all in and secretly copied the makeup zombie's techniques.
It was like slathering paint on a wall!
At the very least, no one could recognize Iori now—not even Chisa!
"Well, this'll have to do for now. But seriously, how do we wake this idiot up?"
Kohei stared at Kitahara, who was still lost in his own little world, his head clearly aching. He had tried all kinds of methods, but none had worked.
Turns out the service here was a little too effective. Kohei figured Kitahara might need a few days just to mentally reset.
"That's easy. We just use the secret weapon."
Saying this, Kamashiro pulled out a can of beer—from behind his butt.
{?Д?"}
Tsukuyo, seeing this move for the first time, was utterly shocked, eyes glued in disbelief to Kamishirou's backside.
Everyone knows kimono don't have back pockets, so that beer…
The implications were terrifying.
Also, why are you carrying beer around anyway?!
And how is one can supposed to help?
Tsukuyo felt like she'd experienced more bizarre things this afternoon than in the entire past year.
Kohei, meanwhile, had a sudden epiphany. "I get it now!"
???
You get what, exactly?!
Miss Tsukuyo was ranting furiously inside her head. A once-cool beauty was now being reduced to the trio's punchline machine.
But what happened next shocked her even more.
Kohei suddenly morphed into a giant and roared, "Kitahara, get up! It's time to start the booze party!"
Pffft!
The scent of malt drifted through the air—
!
In that moment, Iori's once-dull eyes regained their spark.
In the middle of Kabukicho's bustling streets…
A makeup zombie was grabbing two "beauties" by the collar and screaming like a madman.
"You two bastards—scumbags! Look what the hell you've done to me!"
Iori's eyes were bloodshot, and though the beer had revived him, the moment he remembered what happened, he wanted to drag the two of them to hell with him.
Luckily, Kamishiro had confiscated his phone just in time to prevent a catastrophe.
(;?＿?)
"Weren't you the one who wanted to 'experience the service'?" Kamishirou shrugged innocently. "I was just helping make your dream come true. Don't blame me."
"I'm a victim too! I knew nothing about this!" Kohei chimed in.
Iori's face twisted at their expressions of innocence. "So what, are you saying I brought this on myself?"
"Exactly. At least you've realized it."
"Next time, make sure to read the fine print before you go in."
(╬◣д◢)
"You two should go in there yourselves and see what it's like!"
Just thinking about what he went through made Iori nauseous again.
He figured he probably wouldn't be able to look at middle-aged women straight for the next few days. The horrors of that experience still haunted him.
"Alright, alright. As compensation, I'll take you somewhere tonight for the real service experience. This time, you get to pick the place."
Feeling a tiny prick of guilt as he looked at Iori's defeated figure, Kamishiro decided he should at least make some effort to make amends.
And besides, he had no intention of paying. He'd just run out when the time came and mooch a free experience!
Perfect!
（λ?_??）
Poor Iori had no idea Kamishirou was already scheming.
Still, the earlier incident had made him cautious. He eyed Kamishirou with deep suspicion.
"You swear? This service—this time it's the adult kind? With actual cute girls in their twenties?"
"Of course! I said you get to pick, didn't I?"
And you get to foot the bill~
!!!
Hearing that, Iori's eyes lit up. "No need to wait until tonight—let's go now!"
"Eh?" Kamishirou blinked. "Most shops aren't even open yet. Plus, we've got to meet up with Nanaka-nee later."
"Exactly!"
Iori spun around and gripped Kamishirou's shoulders with fiery conviction. "We cannot let Nanaka-nee find out I came to Kabukicho! If she ever knew, the image she has of me would be totally ruined!"
Kamishirou looked at Iori's pale, overly make-up face with a complicated expression, like he was staring at a complete scumbag. Does this guy seriously think he has a good image in Nanaka-nee's eyes?
Clearly, I'm the most righteous and morally upstanding one in this little group.
Sighing with reluctant guilt, he gave in.
As they trailed behind Iori—who practically skipped with glee, flowers blooming around his every step—Kamishirou and Kohei whispered quietly to each other.
"He's terrifying. After all that hell, he still wants women? And he recovered way too fast."
"No helping it. The guy's libido is off the charts. It's a miracle he made it through at all."
"…I underestimated him."
"Got any more recommendations for shops like that?"
"Ehhh, at this point, maybe Big Bird Spinning Club is our only option."
"Big Bird Spinning Club?"
"Yup. That's the Daitori Swirl Cl—wait!"
That voice wasn't Kohei's!
Kamishirou looked up in horror to find Iori standing right in front of him, smiling sweetly.
"Ohhh? So there's a Big Bird Spinning Club around here too~"
That smile was pure nightmare fuel. Cold sweat poured from Kamishirou's brow.
"Ahem, Kitahara, you've got it wrong! The 'Big Bird Spinning Club' is just what it sounds like—a club formed by a bunch of birds. Rich ladies go there to pick out pets…"
"Is that so."
Iori smiled and nodded, but the chill in his eyes said otherwise. He grabbed Kamishirou by the neck.
"You're still lying to me? I ought to throw you in that club and let the boys there really enjoy you! Move it—we're going to the one next door to that monstergirl place!"
Realizing he'd been had, Iori dragged the two of them toward a store they'd seen earlier, the one next to the big-boobed cow-girl shop.
He'd glanced at the sign earlier—it read: Tomboy's Den.
Probably a shop full of flat-chested girls, he had thought at the time.
Back then, he'd wondered how such a store could even compete next to a busty cow-girl paradise. So clueless.
Now… he understood.
Sorry, but I really can't deal with boobs right now. I'll need a few days just to recover.
Damn you, Kamashiro!!!
If only he knew where the Big Bird Spinning Club was, he'd have shoved Kamishirou inside to be manhandled by the "brothers" there.
"We're here! This is the place! My first real step into adulthood!"
Iori stood tall and proud in front of Tomboy's Den, fired up and full of anticipation—especially since Kamishirou was footing the bill.
Kamishirou looked up at the building. It seemed like a new establishment. Not bad, really. The girls on the posters had short hair and strong, cool vibes.
One even looked a bit like Ms. Shiina—just with noticeably smaller boobs.
But still…
Something about this shop felt… off. Like if Iori went in, he might come out a whole new person.
"Hey, Kitahara, you're not actually planning to graduate from Kabukicho right here, are you?"
"Of course not! I just want to learn a little!"
"…And what exactly do you plan to learn?"
"Well…"
For once, Iori actually blushed. Usually so shameless, now he mumbled, "I just want to get a closer look at the differences between men and women…"
(′-ι_-｀)
Kamishirou stared blankly at him. "You're already here, and you're still pretending to be innocent?"
Also—
"If you want to 'study differences between men and women,' why'd you pick this store? Without boobs, what are you even going to study?"
BOOM.
That hit Iori like a thunderbolt. He turned stiffly toward the sign.
Right. He came here to learn.
But he chose a shop full of flat-chested girls… which meant, well, not much different from himself?!
If he really wanted to "study," obviously he needed a shop with big boobs!
He glanced toward Monstergirl Paradise next door.
(?????)
Still couldn't look directly at it.
In that moment, Iori felt the whole world turn grey.
And yet, little did he know… this was only the beginning~
"Looks like he's dead."
"Well, he is a useless extra. Just toss him in the non-recyclable trash later."
Hearing the comments from his two companions, Iori's rage exploded. His face changed back from grayish white to fiery red.
(╬◣д◢)
"What the hell did you two just say?! Let's go! I have to go in today!"
He had figured it out—flat-chested or not, he'd still get to see everything. A beautiful girl standing naked in front of him—that alone was exciting enough!
He nearly got misled by that bastard Kamashiro. No, today he was going to drag Kamashiro down with him!
Without hesitation, he grabbed the two of them, ready to step into a brand new world.
But then—
"Huh? Kamashiro?"
A familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.
The Makeup Zombie's voice!!!
No way—the Makeup Zombie shouldn't be in a place like Kabukicho. Maybe it was just someone who sounded like their zombie.
Iori stole a glance out of the corner of his eye.
And then—
Why the hell is it really the Makeup Zombie?! And why is Chisa with her?!
There was no time to dwell on why they were here. One thought filled Iori's mind:
They absolutely CANNOT see me!
He was certain Kamashiro and Kohei were thinking the same thing. There's no way they could let any familiar girls know they were wandering around Kabukicho!
Judging by Makeup Zombie's tone, she hadn't identified Kamashiro in drag yet. As long as they pretended not to hear and just went upstairs, everything would be fine!
Three kimono-clad "girls" heading to work—nothing suspicious about that, right?
Yes. That should work.
That would definitely get them out of this.
Iori was confident. But there was one thing he failed to consider—
Kamashiro and Kohei didn't care one bit about being seen in Kabukicho!
Just like Iori had zero shame drinking naked in public (λ?_??)
"Oh hey, Aina, Chisa! What are you two doing here? Here to check out the sights too?"
"Kitahara dragged us over saying he wanted to broaden his horizons. Wanna come with?"
Kamashiro and Kohei greeted them warmly and even extended a sincere invitation.
Faced with such radiant beauties, Aina and Chisa froze, then slowly looked up at the sign above their heads:
"Tomboy Heaven — For All Your Short Hair Needs~
Every service you dream of~"
In that moment, their expressions turned dangerous, eyes narrowing like they were watching mosquitoes.
Especially the one still facing away from them—clearly too afraid to show his face!
Even if they hadn't recognized him outright, who else could it be standing next to Kohei and Kamashiro?
(*?????)
Iori wept—actually wept.
What the hell kind of pig teammates are these?! Do you guys seriously not care about your image at all?!
This was a brothel, for crying out loud!!
He took one last, wistful look at the flashy signs all around him, glowing even more temptingly now that the sun had set.
He realized he might not get to experience any of it tonight.
May the next time he comes to Tokyo be without Kamishiro.