"..."
Staring at the two sleazy figures, the trio jumped—thinking it was that mob chasing them.
But on closer inspection, these two weren't wearing A Certain High School's uniforms.
Also… it was the weekend. Why were they still wearing uniforms? Were they that desperate for people to know what school their delinquent asses went to?
Shiro twitched his lips in annoyance but ignored them. He turned to the other two.
"Where were we?"
"Going to Kabukicho."
"Seeing the new world."
"Right, then let's go."
Shiro nodded, and the three of them started walking toward the light, acting like the delinquents didn't exist.
The ignored punks felt insulted and yelled out angrily.
"Hey! Did you even hear us?! We're delinquents! We're here to collect protection money!"
"Don't be so full of yourselves! Hand over your money!"
But it had no effect～
Shiro and the others just casually picked at their ears and walked past them.
"Yeah, yeah, we heard you, Mr. Delinquent."
"Too bad we're all broke. We've never even seen money before, so you might wanna try someone else."
"Best of luck in business, delinquent sirs."
(′-ι_-｀)
Watching the trio walk away, the blond punk clenched his teeth in frustration.
At that moment—
His delinquent pride had just suffered a major humiliation!
"You three little punks!!!"
He couldn't hold it in anymore. From the shadows, he yanked out a baseball bat and stepped in front of the trio again, his gaze fierce.
"I warned you, didn't I? You asked for it! Hand over every single yen you've got, or don't blame me if the Indomitable Silver Dragon Lance shows no mercy!"
"Yeah! And now it's not just your money—we want your clothes too!"
Seeing his buddy pull out a weapon, the delinquent next to him instantly became more arrogant. Maybe he should go get an Indomitable Silver Dragon Lance for himself too.
No, wait!
He wanted an Indomitable Golden Dragon Lance!
Creak creak creak—
The atmosphere turned heavy, like a Western standoff just before the shootout, as this "valiant warrior of delinquency" brandished his weapon.
Kamashiro Shirou facepalmed and let out a sigh. This wasn't just a thug—it was a chuunibyou thug.
And not even a very bright one...
This time, Kamashiro didn't choose to ignore him. Instead, he walked straight up to the bleached-hair punk.
Then—
He held out his hand to compare their heights. 185cm versus 170cm. That difference was no joke.
Then he pointed at the two delinquents, and then at the three of them.
Finally, he patted the punk on the shoulder and said, with a tone full of meaning:
"I thought you just had no brains… didn't think you were blind too.
You seriously can't see the obvious strength difference here?
Headcount.
Size.
Pab power.
You think you two can take us on?
Delinquents?
Buddy, I graduated from a school of delinquents!"
With that, he snatched the bat from the blonde's hands. Iori and Kohei also began to grin viciously as they stepped in behind the delinquents.
Such kind souls—coming to give them money when they're broke~
{{{?Д?"}}}
The blonde who lost his Silver Dragon Lance finally realized they'd messed with the wrong guys.
He tried to bolt but found Iori and Kohei had already blocked the exit.
Cornered, the two punks trembled under the glow of three pairs of eyes that now seemed to glint red in the shadows.
"B-Boss, this is all a misunderstanding…"
"We just saw how bored you guys looked, and we wanted to liven things up a bit. What do you say, think our act was good enough to let us off?"
"Ohh~ so you were trying to entertain us? Boys, what do you think?"
Kamashiro smirked as he looked at the pair. This was their own doing—they'd tried to walk away before.
But if they wanted to play, then it was time to show them what seasoned delinquents were made of.
"No brainer. They gotta leave behind what ought to be left behind."
"You call this being a delinquent?"
Iori and Kohei's eyes gleamed with cruelty. They were already pissed from being randomly chased earlier, and now they had the perfect outlet.
Honestly, these two punks had a death wish.
((???|||))!
"S-So scary!"
"What we're supposed to leave behind… is it our tears?"
THWACK!
"You're delinquents and you don't know what you're supposed to give up?!"
The sound of the Silver Dragon Lance hitting the ground made both punks jump.
They turned to Kamashiro with watery eyes. "We… we know…"
"We'll hand it over right now."
Like wilted eggplants, they pulled out their wallets. They'd hoped to bluff their way out, but it was clear now: time to pay up to stay alive.
Just as the blonde was trembling and slowly pulling out his wallet—
A voice suddenly rang out in the dark alley. It sounded way too fast to be normal.
"Stop right there!!!"
(′｀;)?
The three turned toward the voice.
A man in a baseball jersey stood under the streetlight, glowing with righteous energy.
"Is this one of those legendary sudden ambush heroes? Bit late though, huh?
And hey, if it's not a big-chested ambush heroine, I'm not on board."
Kamashiro instantly launched into a rant. These so-called "righteous types" always show up late—after the crooks have already been handled.
"You're late. We've already taken care of the—"
Before he could finish, the man interrupted him.
With a face and voice that oddly resembled the Fourth Hokage, he asked:
"Not letting them go, huh?"
???
Kamashiro and the others stared at each other in confusion.
"Wait wait… Kamashiro, don't tell me he's from some rival school…"
"Nope. Doesn't ring a bell. He might be their backup."
"In that case—understood!"
Iori stepped forward with a smug grin. "So what if we don't let them go? We're just taking what's rightfully ours!"
His expression was even more delinquent than a real delinquent. Kamashiro and Kohei both gave him a thumbs-up.
"Oh? Rightfully yours, huh?"
Instead of getting scared, the man grinned.
Then—
Kamashiro and the others witnessed a sight they'd need years of therapy to erase!
The man clasped his hands, his arm and back muscles bulging. Then—
RIP!
His shirt burst apart, revealing a chiseled torso and—
A black lace bra?!
The fashion choice was so outrageous the three of them just froze, eyes wide, unable to speak.
But the man took their silence as desire for more. Smiling confidently, he said:
"What's wrong? Not enough for you, greedy little devils?"
Then he threw his hands behind his back and—
With a sudden flex, the black lace bra went flying—
SMACK! Right into Iori's eyes.
As darkness swallowed his vision, Iori had only one thought:
These eyes…
They're done for.
No, wait—
Not just the eyes. This whole face. Might as well get a new head.
As the man continued to approach, the three stood frozen, eyes wide in horror.
"Well done. You truly are greedy creatures," he said approvingly.
╭?( ￣ ▽￣)╭?
Kamashiro's grip on the Silver Dragon Lance hardened.
(▼皿▼＃)
Just as he was about to charge and duel this pervert to the death—
The man spoke again.
"I know you all act out because you lack love. Let me warm your hearts!"
Before Kamashiro could react, the man—
Clasped his hands behind his head, bent his knees, and—
Started thrusting his hips!
The rhythm was like an electric motor. Kamashiro couldn't keep up.
No, that wasn't the problem!
The real problem was—
The man was approaching them while hip-thrusting like a lunatic!
"Yahoo! I'm coming to hug you!"
Seeing this, Kamashiro, Iori, Kohei, and even the two delinquents screamed in terror.
"HELP!!!"
"STAY AWAY, YOU PERVERT!!!"
In that moment—
Kamashiro would've preferred being caught by those savage beasts from A Certain High School.
Why hadn't he realized Tokyo was full of perverts?
Beep~ Beep~
As the perverted man was hauled into a police car, Kamishiro and the other two finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Right after the man had arrived, the police had shown up and taken away the bra-flinging man mid-"yahoo."
When Kamishiro saw the police, he nearly cried. This Tokyo trip was way too intense.
If the cops hadn't shown up, there might have been one more corpse floating in Tokyo Bay, three fewer students at Izu University, and three more fugitives in society.
…Not that it was a sure thing. If no one found the body, they could've just kept being university students~
While the pervert had been dealt with, their hearts still needed healing—from the hostesses of Kabukicho, obviously.
Looking at the 100,000 yen the delinquents had "gifted" them, the three shared a greasy smile.
Now it was their turn to unleash the real electric motor.
As they fantasized, a very annoyed voice snapped them back to reality.
"Hey, what are you three little punks giggling about? Want a trip to the police station for tea?"
!!!
"Nope, not at all!"
"We have other things to do!"
"Thank you for your service, Officer! I'll be sure to visit your shop soon!"
The three shook their heads like madmen. No way were they going to try the prison curry. They wanted real food!
"Huh? My shop? Kid, what exactly do you know…?"
Upon hearing Kamashiro Shirou's words, the police officer stepped up and scrutinized him closely. Only a few people knew he ran a shop.
Looking at the officer in front of him, with black straight hair streaked with and V-shaped bangs, Kamashiro's lips twitched. If he'd known, he wouldn't have opened his mouth—he'd just blurted out what he was trying hardest not to say!
That's right!
The police officer standing in front of him was none other than the owner of Love Hotel No. 34, Hijikata Toushirou.
Yep—the Counter Part of that silver-haired, curly bastard.
(;?＿?)
Kamashiro averted his eyes guiltily and said, "Ahem, I've had the honor of hearing your name… and I've stayed at your hotel before… that's how I made the connection…"
"Is that so?"
Hijikata looked at the squinty-eyed kid suspiciously. This brat didn't look like a good person at all—he really wanted to haul him in, but there was no evidence.
"Tch, behave yourself, brat."
Throwing a warning glance his way, Hijikata turned and headed toward the police car.
Just as Kamashiro was watching the patrol car drive off, a sudden thought struck him—his eyes lit up!
"Mr. Hijikata! I think I saw a group of young people wielding dangerous weapons in that direction just now—you might want to check it out!"
!!!
Iori and Kohei silently gave Kamashiro a thumbs-up after looking in the direction he pointed.
As expected of a scumbag—he knew exactly how to borrow a knife to kill someone.
That direction was exactly where they had just run from!
"Don't go ordering police around, brat! …But we'll go take a look!"
Hijikata shouted angrily and jumped into the patrol car, speeding off in the direction Kamashiro had pointed.
The three watched silently.
…Why did they suddenly find him kinda cute?
"That officer…"
"Is totally tsundere."
"Don't you two go exposing him now. (λ?_??)"
Kamashiro still had a lot of faith in Hijikata's professionalism. This should buy them some time to shake those guys off.
"Well, now what should we—WAIT, where the hell did you get beer?!"
Seeing the beer bottles in his friends' hands, Kamashiro jumped. The cops had just left and they were already drinking to celebrate?
Anyone who didn't know better would think they'd just gotten out of jail.
"We found them on those delinquents. Seriously—high schoolers shouldn't drink!"
"We're reluctantly helping them get rid of it. Sadly, only two bottles. Looks like you're out of luck, Kamashiro~"
The two of them wore innocent-yet-smug expressions—clearly doing this on purpose.
There's nothing more perfect than cracking open a cold one on a blazing summer day.
!!!
"Are you two idiots seriously not learning anything from earlier?!"
Kamashiro looked at them in exasperation and snatched the bottles from their hands.
"Huh? Learn what?"
"Learn what? Are you saying we should've faced off against that pervert head-on?"
They blinked blankly—clearly unaware of any lessons they were supposed to learn..
"How do you think that pervert got arrested just now?"
"Isn't it obvious? Because he was a pervert! That kind of guy needs to be shipped off to an American prison for reform."
Iori replied without hesitation, his expression full of revulsion just thinking about it.
(???)
"And how are you two not just like that pervert right now?"
With Kamashiro's reminder, the two of them glanced at each other—and then realized...
"WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU WEARING CLOTHES?!" ×2
At some point, they'd both stripped down to just their boxers while drinking!
And not only that—people were taking pictures and making phone calls...
Anyone else would've been too ashamed to show their face again.
But for Iori and Kohei? This was just another Tuesday.
"Kitahara, looking at it now, Tokyo and Izu really are pretty different, huh?"
"Totally. At least in Izu, we didn't have this many people watching. (Because everyone was used to it by now.) But I get it—Tokyo's a big city. Wonder who they're calling?"
"No idea… but odds are they're calling that cop who just left…"
Kohei's voice trailed off, and then both of them locked eyes in shared horror.
Shit.
They looked just like that pervert from earlier!
"What do we do, Kamashiro?!"
They turned to the spot where Kamashiro had been standing—only to find he'd blended into the crowd as a curious bystander.
Just as they thought he'd abandoned them, a car horn blared beside them.
Beep-beep!
Kamashiro was sitting in a taxi, waving them over. "Quit standing there like idiots! Put your clothes on and get over here—unless you want pork cutlet rice in jail!"
Finally snapping out of it, the two of them grabbed their clothes and sprinted into the taxi.
Their charging momentum was so fierce that if Kamashiro hadn't held the driver back, the poor guy might've sped off from fright.
"You didn't tell me your friends were two perverts!"
"Sir, please—cut the chatter. Trust me, it's just a one-time thing. They usually wear clothes."
"But… the blond one just pulled down the black-haired one's boxers too."
"…"
Kamashiro fell silent—and slowly pulled out a few 10,000-yen bills.
"Sir… I'll tip you extra."
"Right away, esteemed customer! However you say—let's goooo!"
(￥ ￥)