Morning.
Bright sunlight streamed into Kamishiro Shiro's room amidst the screeching war between bugs and birds.
What had once been a tidy space was now a complete mess.
Scattered pink handcuffs, magazines, DVDs, clothes, bras, beer bottles…
All of it screamed of last night's chaos~
On the double bed, three bodies were entangled together in a rather spring-like scene.
Still sleeping, Azusa had her hands firmly cupping the softest spots of the two girls beside her. From time to time, her grip even tightened, and judging from the grin on her face, she was probably having a very sweet dream.
"Mm…"
"Uh-huh~"
Maybe Azusa's grip got too strong in her sleep, because the two beauties in her arms opened their eyes at the exact same time.
And the moment their gazes met, they both saw each other's disheveled appearances… and the completely naked, peacefully sleeping Azusa.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" ×2
A beautiful day began with their screams.
(At Pab)
"Haah~"
Kamishiro Shiro walked out of Iori's room—he had crashed there last night, sleeping on the floor.
He had no choice. That guy seriously didn't even have a proper bed. Super traditional Japanese setup!
"So where the hell did that guy run off to anyway? Didn't come back to sleep all night."
Pshhh—
Muttering to himself, Shiro opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.
Gulp gulp gulp—haah~ nothing like this to kick off the morning right!
Unknowingly, his stomach had already taken the shape of PaB. Without this wheat juice every day, he just didn't feel right anymore.
Creaaak—
"I'm back~"
Nanaka's voice came from the front door. Technically, they were supposed to return last night, but because of the heavy rain, they waited until this morning.
"Welcome back, Nanaka-neesan! You wanna eat breakfast first or… eat me?"
The moment Shiro saw Nanaka, his eyes lit up—and he dropped a classic hentai doujin line!
"Eh? Shiro? Why are you here so early? Also, drinking in the morning isn't very good for you, y'know~"
(;－_－)
"…Due to certain circumstances, I sought refuge here last night."
Shiro's gaze shifted. That one sentence from Nanaka completely ruined his decent mood.
Just thinking about the mess waiting for him back home gave him a headache!
He could only pray that his two close friends had already gone home.
Wait!
He could just call Azusa!
The thought made him give himself a mental thumbs-up. Let Azusa check things out first—then he'd decide whether to go back or not.
Perfect.
Time to act! Sure, he knew Azusa probably wasn't awake yet, but whatever.
Time to fix her sleep schedule! He'd heard the best way to adjust it was: don't sleep in the morning, nap three hours around noon, and then you can sleep normally at night!
Of course…
Shiro figured this method might also cause sudden death, so… use cautiously!
Ring ring ring…
It connected!
"Yaaawn~ what's up, Shiro?"
Azusa's lazy voice came through the line. Shiro could almost see her lying sideways on the bed in that sleepy pose.
Too bad he couldn't go back and enjoy the view.
"Hey, Azusa-nee, can you check my room and see if anyone's there?"
"…Green tea bitch, how dare you sneak into bed with me!"
"Huh!? I clearly remember I was in the bed first! You're the damn tomboy—!"
Click.
Shiro hung up.
He didn't need to hear the rest.
Yep. The chaos level in his room was even worse than expected.
Right now, there were three women in his room. If he went back, he could literally set up a mahjong table.
Hmm…
Maybe this idiot Kitahara's place really wasn't so bad. At least he wasn't about to gamble his life on a hand of Mahjong…
"What's up?" Nanaka asked curiously. She thought she heard Azusa's voice—why were they calling each other so early?
"Nothing… I just suddenly realized I'm homeless."
Shiro's smile turned a little tragic. He figured he might be staying with Kitahara for a while. Just had to wait for him to croak so he could inherit the bed.
(′｀;)?
Nanaka tilted her head, completely confused, but didn't press the issue. She looked around.
"Iori and Chisa-chan aren't up yet?"
!
Now that made Shiro perk up. His chance to snatch Kitahara's bed had arrived!
"Haven't seen that idiot since I woke up. He probably didn't even come back to sleep last night."
"Oh, and when I was getting ready for bed, I heard weird thud thud and bang bang noises from Chisa's room. No idea what they were doing."
(ò_ó)
As Shiro finished speaking, Nanaka's face visibly stiffened, then slowly darkened until her entire face was covered in shadow.
"Is that so… Iori didn't return to his room last night…"
She softly repeated the words, then floated toward Chisa's room upstairs like a ghost~
Shiro, of course, hurried after her. There was no way he'd miss this kind of drama!
Who knows—after today, he might successfully take over Kitahara's room.
As for what really happened last night, Shiro wasn't too sure.
His sleep schedule had been kind of messed up lately, and he went to bed early. Even when he heard strange sounds from Chisa's room, he didn't bother to check.
After all… it's not like anything beyond common sense could've happened~
The two soon reached the door. Shiro, knowing his role, politely knocked.
"Chisa, are you in there?"
No response… As if the room were empty.
"Maybe she's still asleep?"
Nanaka didn't reply. She simply gave Shiro a look that said "move," then reached for the doorknob herself.
Shiro clearly saw the veins popping on her hand. In that moment, he figured he might as well go pick out a pink casket for Kitahara.
Then again… maybe no one was inside?
But—
Based on how no one had been seen in the shop that morning, that possibility was basically zero.
Creak…
Nanaka pushed open the door, and the sight of Chisa's room filled their view.
On the bed, where Chisa was supposed to be, two figures lay entwined. The man's upper body was hanging off the bed, only his lower half still on it…
If their clothes hadn't been somewhat intact, Shiro would've already called the cops.
Even he didn't expect such a shocking scene. Was this idiot Kitahara about to graduate from "fool" to felon?!
Seriously—how the hell was he this bold in a host family's house?!
"Ugh…"
Perhaps the sound of Nanaka opening the door was too loud—
Iori slowly started to wake up.
It took him a few seconds to recall what had happened earlier.
Last night, driven by his lustful curiosity, he had sneaked into Chisa's room… to steal a photo!
But Chisa had seen through his plan.
With his sneaky attempt thwarted, Iori had no choice but to try and snatch it by force.
During the struggle, a book came crashing down on his head,
bounced off—by some law that definitely wasn't the Pythagorean Theorem—and hit Chisa in the head too.
Double KO!
Both of them were knocked out by the same book!
And that brought them to the current situation…
He rubbed his head, which still felt like it had horns growing from it.
Why was it suddenly so cold…?
"Iori-kun, can you explain to me what's going on here?"
{{(°△°;")}}!
Iori looked up in terror.
That's when he realized—Nanaka-nee and that scumbag Shirou were standing at the door!!!
He glanced at Chisa next to him, then at Nanaka-nee's smiling face…
Suddenly, he had a sinking feeling that this might be the day he dies…
"Nanaka-nee, if I said this was all a misunderstanding… would you believe me?"
(╥_╥)
Dear God, please save me!
Creak… Creak… Crack!
Cracks began forming along the walls.
At this point, Iori knew panicking was useless—he had to talk his way out of this!
He calmly climbed off Chisa's bed and said,
"Wait, Nanaka-nee, this is all a misunderstanding!
Nothing indecent happened between me and Chisa—it's just a coincidence of several unlikely events that made it look that way!
I swear on the gods, I didn't do anything lewd!"
Iori rattled off his explanation at lightning speed. But in the end, fear overtook him and he bolted toward the door:
"Still too scary!"
BAM!
Just as he was about to make his daring escape, assistant Shirou slammed the door shut and caught him with a judo shoulder throw, slamming him to the ground!
"Nanaka-nee, target captured successfully!"
"Kamishiro Shirou, you backstabbing bastard!!!"
Iori struggled furiously, never expecting his own best friend to betray him like this!
As Nanaka-nee approached, Iori pleaded again:
"Nanaka-san, I swear, this really is just a misunderstanding!"
But Nanaka didn't respond. She simply walked up to him—
not to administer some torturous punishment as he feared—
but instead, she gently patted his head.
!?
That gentle touch stunned Iori. Then he gave a bitter laugh to himself.
Had he really misjudged Nanaka-san?
Of course, someone as kind as her wouldn't destroy him over a mere misunderstanding…
Even Shirou was shocked.
Had they misjudged her reaction all along?
And then—
Nanaka spoke, shattering Iori's illusion.
"As I thought… same shampoo scent as Chisa."
!!!
?━=????(??? ????)
Iori stared in horror at the gentle big sister before him.
She hadn't been comforting him just now—
She was confirming his guilt!
This was a misunderstanding too!
Last night in the bath, Iori had discovered he'd run out of shampoo.
He'd tried using alternatives, like… anti-mold foaming spray.
But!!
That stuff was NOT meant for human hair! Even if it claimed it wouldn't damage bathtubs, it sure as hell would destroy your scalp!
So he'd had no choice but to use Chisa's shampoo!
"..."
Shirou silently stepped back two paces.
He suddenly remembered—he'd used Chisa's shampoo too…
Thank goodness Nanaka hadn't noticed. Otherwise, he'd be the next body on the floor.
"No need to explain—I understand everything~"
"No, no, no! It's really not what you think!"
Iori began frantically explaining again. What was he supposed to do—wait till he was dead to clarify?!
"Ugh—ow!"
THUMP!
At that moment, Chisa stirred from her half-sleep.
She opened her eyes and immediately slammed heads with Shirou, who had leaned in too close.
"Tch… your head's a rock, huh?"
Shirou groaned and rubbed his forehead.
He had only meant to gently wake the sleeping beauty—not get headbutted into next week.
"Mmm… Shirou? Sis?!"
Chisa blinked and rubbed her eyes, taking a few seconds to realize what was going on in the room.
There was a pretty boy clutching his forehead nearby, and her sister had Iori in a chokehold.
"Why are you guys here?!"
Chisa was a little confused. How long had she been asleep?
It had only felt like a short nap…
"It's already the next day. You two weren't waking up, so we came to check on you.
Now that you're awake, could you recount Iori's crimes from last night? I'll record them."
Shirou pulled out a notebook from God-knows-where.
He looked very professional—saving the police the trouble of writing a report.
"Chisa! Please explain! This isn't what they think!"
Iori was desperate—finally, someone who could prove his innocence!
Though Chisa didn't know the full situation, she began describing what she remembered:
"Mmm… I was sleeping peacefully in my room, and then Iori just slipped in."
!!!
"Ah, I see now~"
THUMP!
No longer in a chokehold, Iori was now being hoisted up by his head—courtesy of Nanaka.
"It's not what it looks like, Nanaka-nee! I had a reason for doing that!"
Hearing Iori's excuse, Shirou turned his gaze toward Chisa.
He didn't believe Iori would sneak into her room just for fun—especially when he'd previously said he had no romantic interest in her.
And sure enough—
Shirou spotted something in Chisa's hand.
If he wasn't mistaken, that was probably the "accidentally revealing" photo of Nanaka from last night.
"..."
Yup. As absurd as this situation had become,this was just the kind of dumb thing Iori would do.
"So it really was for completely impure reasons, huh."
Shirou sighed.
He figured Nanaka wouldn't believe it anyway—Chisa had already fed the photo through a mini shredder.
"Exactly! A 100% impure motive!"
Chisa chimed in as well. The photo had been reduced to tiny pieces.
!!!
These two bastards!
Iori had no way to defend himself now.
What was he going to say—"I only snuck into Chisa's room because I wanted a peep shot of her sister"?
He'd be hauled off to jail instantly!
"Iori-kun…"
It was happening.
The final judgment was coming!
Iori stopped struggling and began reminiscing about his short, pitiful life.
Grade school… can't remember.
Middle school… all-boys' school.
University… naked dudes and booze.
…
What a miserable life!!!
Maybe it was time to let go…
"Marry Chisa."
The gentle voice stunned everyone in the room.
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ!!!
Shirou stared in disbelief.
Not only had that idiot survived—he'd gotten a wife out of it?!
Sneak into a girl's room and get a free wife?!
That's as absurd as "remove her veil and now you're married" logic!
If only he'd known, he would've gone in himself!
Damn it!
That bastard not only had a family business waiting for him, now even wives were being handed to him on a silver platter?!
Too lucky!!!
"You're not angry?"
Still dazed, Iori hadn't recovered from the shock.
BAM!
Nanaka set him down and spoke seriously:
"Of course I'm angry.
Chisa means the world to me.
But I also know you're not a bad kid.
So… if you can make Chisa happy, I won't tear you limb from limb."
"Thank you very much!"
"I object, Nanaka-nee!!"
Shirou stepped in!
Forgive him, but he just couldn't sit back and watch Iori walk away with the perfect ending.
He didn't even have a wife to help him run his tea fields—
how could that moron Iori beat him to the finish line?!
And that was Chisa we were talking about!
Nanaka's little sister! The daughter of a dignified elder!
If Iori really stole Chisa away…
how was Shirou supposed to woo Nanaka?!
If only he'd remembered that this dive shop also needed an heir!
"You bastard!"
Iori lunged forward, trying to cover Kamashiro Shirou's mouth—but it was already too late!
"Chisa loves diving so much! If she married Kitahara, she'd hardly get to dive anymore!"
"Mmm..."
Sure enough, when Kamashiro said that, Nanaka-nee hesitated. She knew just how obsessed her little sister was with diving—it was basically her second life!
In that case... there was only one option...
"I'll marry into her family!!"
(o Д o)*
Kamashiro Shirou stared at Iori in disbelief. Just how shameless did someone have to be to say that out loud?! This bastard was really okay with leaving little Shiori all alone to run the inn?!
'You bastard! Have you even thought about Shiori?!'
'Tch, staying alive takes priority over everything else right now!'
'Scumbag!'
'You're the last person I want to hear that from!'
"..."
Chisa fell silent at the chaotic scene in front of her. She still hadn't figured out what was going on, but...
Were they just discussing her marriage?!
How did things go from a "breaking into someone's room" incident to planning her wedding?!
And no one even bothered to ask her, the actual person involved!!
Still, Nanaka-nee looked delighted at Iori's answer. If that was the case, then there was no problem at all!
"Great! In that case—"
"No, absolutely not!!"
This time, a very youthful, innocent voice stopped the tragedy in its tracks!