Year 36 of Konoha.
The war in the Land of Rain was now a thing of the past. Compared to the brutality of the First Great Ninja World War, the losses each nation suffered this time could be described as "limited."
Painful but not crippling—some ninja villages didn't even suffer what you'd call real damage.
To put it briefly, none of the major ninja villages were truly devastated; each held back their power, each was simmering with resentment… well, except for Mist.
So although the war had ended, the shadow of war still loomed over the ninja world without fading even slightly… more precisely speaking, large-scale warfare between nations had ended, but sporadic battles never truly stopped.
Haseo would sometimes return to the front lines to clean up messes others couldn't handle. However, his results were rarely impressive, because those conflicts always resolved themselves before he reached the designated area—Haseo could finally be described as genuinely "deterring an entire region."
If there was anyone who could be called a "winner" from this war, it would probably only be Hanzo of the Rain Village. The war in the Land of Rain didn't even count Amegakure as a winner since it had been heavily defeated by three great ninja villages. But personally, Hanzo truly came out on top… Although his giant salamander died, dealing a blow to his combat power, his reputation had completely spread far and wide.
In terms of leadership abilities, during the later stages of the war in the Land of Rain, he led Amegakure to repeatedly drive away the forces of the three major ninja villages (Konoha, Kumogakure, and Sunagakure). In terms of individual battle strength, he had beaten the Third Tsuchikage so badly that he couldn't even stand up—some say. Though previously forced into retreat by the Sannin, he later successfully drove back Haseo alongside the Sannin once again, significantly salvaging his dignity.
Thus, Hanzo's title of the "Half-God" became almost officially recognized. Though the leader of a village like Amegakure shouldn't technically bear the title of "Kage," in the ninja world, people had begun subtly placing Hanzo alongside the Five Kages.
However, reputation aside, Hanzo himself remained relatively wise—for example, when Haseo appeared in the Land of Rain, no matter what he did, Hanzo never confronted him directly anymore… Hanzo could sense Haseo's "ill intentions."
Well, "ill intentions" sounds way too polite. More accurately, Hanzo realized that Haseo seemed to want to kill him.
But… Hmph, a simple Konoha jonin? The Half-God Hanzo wouldn't give him even the slightest opportunity.
...
"Where are Jiraiya and Orochimaru? Feels like it's been ages since I last saw them."
Haseo and Tsunade walked down the stairs of the Kagenami Underground Base. Although the underground passage was crowded, there was still enough space for both of them to walk side by side.
"Jiraiya? He's been staying in the Land of Rain for quite a while now," said Tsunade. Compared to Haseo, she paid more attention to the situations of her two old teammates.
"The Land of Rain? No news for such a long time… that pervert hasn't died over there, has he?"
"He seems to be completing missions while following some kind of destiny's guidance. Somehow, Jiraiya has been acting awfully mysterious these days… Don't worry, a lecher like him won't die so easily. Want to make a bet?"
"Don't... don't do it. Jiraiya may be a typical pervert, but he definitely doesn't deserve to die."
Haseo still cared about Jiraiya's fate, so he firmly rejected Tsunade's suggestion.
Tsunade remained as youthful as ever, but her gambling addiction seemed to be growing worse day by day.
"As for Orochimaru, he's still the same old self. Whenever he has no missions, he always indulges himself in researching all sorts of weird things... No, actually, lately Orochimaru's been even more obsessive than usual."
Tsunade had this illusion—her childhood friends were gradually becoming somewhat abnormal. Honestly, they'd all grown up in the same environment, so why did those two develop so many strange issues? And they didn't even seem aware of their own flaws—it was just bizarre.
Tsunade figured she'd managed to stay unaffected by them because she'd always been pretty headstrong, even as a kid.
"I think those two really need some character correction. They both learned from The Third, yet they're way inferior to me... Do you think it's too late now?"
"Hmm... Haha, no worries. I think everything's fine as it is."
Haseo forcefully restrained his urge to check his wallet.
Haseo was definitely one of the highest earners in Konoha—hell, maybe even the whole world—so why was he always broke?
Although he hadn't actively changed anything over these past few years, the relationship between Haseo and Tsunade had essentially become that of husband and wife. Therefore, all of Haseo's assets were considered marital joint property.
Joint marital property basically meant he was flat broke.
Thankfully, Haseo had stashed away a bit of secret money somewhere, so at least he wouldn't starve… Ugh, where exactly did he hide that money again?
Upon entering the Kagenami base, Haseo went straight to his office. But when he pushed open the door, there was a shocking 'object' sitting right in his chair.
"Haseo, what are you standing there for..."
Haseo didn't speak. He simply took one quiet step forward, holding the door open. When Tsunade entered behind him, she saw what he saw, and her voice involuntarily trailed off into silence.
A small child sat in a comically oversized chair.
He had silver hair—like a tiny old man.
The little boy spotted Haseo and Tsunade, then awkwardly slid off the enormous chair. He stretched out his tiny hand to dust off non-existent dirt from his knees before walking steadily toward Haseo.
His outfit wasn't anything special—just a black shirt, white trousers, and sandals—but it was spotless, probably because his mother took especially good care of him.
"Esteemed sirs, hello. My name is Kakashi… Pleased to make your acquaintance."
Well, his greeting sounded slightly stiff but impressively mannered and polite.
"Oh! Son of Sakumo Hatake?"
Tsunade whispered softly into Haseo's ear, as if afraid of startling the delicate little creature.
"Yeah. Later I'll dock his pay—how could he bring his child to work?"
Haseo whispered back in the same hushed tone.
Then he squatted down and pinched the child's chin gently… Hmm, indeed, there was a tiny mole right at the corner of his mouth.
Now *that*... has got to be a mark of destiny.
"Do you know who I am?" Haseo tried engaging the little kid in conversation. He was somewhat curious about the logical thinking ability of a human child at this age.
"No."
The reply was crisp and clear.
"My name is Haseo. Actually... um, I'm your father."
The child looked confused, which showed that he understood the meaning of the word "father" and could recognize who his own father was.
So Haseo had to continue explaining, "Your dad is Sakumo Hatake, and your mom is Hatake Nono. You're actually Kakashi Hatake, right?"
"Right."
Judging from his age, Kakashi Hatake should only be three years old. At this age, being able to clearly recognize people and sit quietly here without crying or causing trouble was already very impressive.
"See? That's exactly it. I really am your father—a father and a daddy, no contradiction there. Other kids have only one daddy, but you've got both a father and a daddy. You've already won at the starting line... if you don't believe me, just go home and ask your mom if that's not how it is."
At first Tsunade listened with interest, but eventually couldn't help lightly kicking Haseo from behind, telling him not to go too far.
Haseo hurriedly smiled apologetically.
In recent years, he'd gradually become a bit henpecked, mainly because he'd always been cared for by Tsunade and thus felt guilty… It was like a princess marrying a commoner, and she even knew how to cook and clean meticulously.
It would be perfect if the princess weren't also a gambler.
Anyway, Haseo's recent policy had been to occasionally back down during the day but go all out at night. Even the First Hokage himself would probably call him a model ninja of Konoha.
After Haseo's little speech, the previously sharp-witted Kakashi had become completely dazed—the brain's information processing abilities were still limited by his age.
Still, Haseo continued pushing the child, "Got it? You're supposed to be smart, after all."
"I—I think I get it."
Possibly frightened by Haseo's terrifying logic, after saying this Kakashi immediately avoided looking at him and instinctively shifted his gaze toward Tsunade standing behind Haseo.
This older sister looked way friendlier than this uncle (??).
So Kakashi didn't hesitate and stretched out his arms.
Hmm? You want a hug?
Haseo was stunned—this kid came straight for his exclusive economic zone.
You know how they say—what you see at three, you get at thirty. This kid'll either turn into a total introvert or end up achieving something big... Judging from his status as Jiraiya's biggest fan, though, it was probably the former.
Without a word, Haseo ruffled the boy's hair, spinning him around several times.
Even after stopping, Kakashi immediately stretched his arms out again... What a fantastic sense of balance.
"I give up," Haseo muttered, then reached out and picked the kid up himself… His motion was perfectly executed, as if he'd practiced it specifically.
"Just so you know, don't pee on me, or else…"
"It's already too late, Father. I couldn't hold it."
Before Haseo's brain caught up, he already felt his chest getting soaked.
Was this revenge?
Haseo had never been outwitted so badly in his whole life—not by an enemy, but by a three-year-old brat... and he couldn't even strike back.
Piss back at him? That'd just be embarrassing.
After thinking for three seconds, Haseo decided it wasn't worth doing.
"I give up already, kid—you sure have perfect timing..."
Before he could finish speaking, Haseo felt a fierce kick slam into him.
Turning around, he saw Tsunade glaring at him with a pitch-black expression.
"Haseo, have you gone senile already?"
Whether or not he was losing his mind remained unclear, but one thing was certain—he hadn't thought before speaking.
Kakashi chuckled quietly—he looked genuinely entertained by Haseo's humiliation.
Right now, two men—one emotion each.
All that stood between them was a little piss.
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