"Just the usual routine, cooking with practiced ease.
Each repetition feels more distant from my soul.
Skin feels like soiled foam,
unable to smell its colors or taste its flavor...
"
On the most "prosperous" city streets of the Land of Rivers, a male and female wanderer-performer duo were performing.
The girl was singing while the man, a magician, held a small clay figurine in his palm. The clay figure was now dancing along with the melody and rhythm of the song.
This kind of two-person performance was rather fresh—an act that stood out. Usually, people imagined wandering artist pairs as blind old men playing string instruments accompanied by their young granddaughters.
It was said these two were first cousins, but who really knew what their true relationship was?
The citizens of the Land of Rivers unfortunately had many impure thoughts.
After the performance ended, sparse claps came from the crowd surrounding them, but the performers received no tips... Not because their show wasn't worth paying for, but because most onlookers simply had no money.
Or perhaps many just disliked watching lovey-dovey performances.
In any case, another day passed without reward. The two artists reluctantly packed up their things and left this place with lonely silhouettes.
The spectators soon melted away into the streets.
"Another day where we're flat broke," Haseo finally spoke once they were alone. "I think our performance was pretty great, but why can't we make any money?"
Real appreciation's hard to come by.
Haseo tossed aside the "money-making tool" in his hand. He was an Earth Release ninja, and when it came to clay figures, he could even be called an expert.
"I think it's the song—it's too strange. Normal people probably can't appreciate this kind of melody at all," Tsunade commented afterward.
She thought her singing was fine; it was the song Haseo taught her that was problematic. Both lyrics and tune might simply not appeal to others.
"Is that so?"
Haseo fell into thought. Tsunade's singing ability was solid—her voice combined with her appearance had already reached the level where she could debut as an idol to save Konoha.
So was the song really the issue? Was this world simply not into singing, dancing, and rap styles... Wait, why did Haseo even assume the Ninjutsu World would embrace hip-hop? Where had that mistaken impression come from?
"How about trying 'Queen of Kabukicho' next time? Could work, right?" [an entertainment district in Tokyo – note for cultural context]
"...Haseo, are we seriously planning to rely on something like this to make money?"
"..."
That hit right on target—a question that left Haseo momentarily speechless. They were here on a mission; being an idol wouldn't save the Ninjutsu World.
While chatting casually, Haseo subtly winked at Tsunade, and Tsunade gave a slight nod in response.
At that moment, several people were trailing behind them.
However, there was no need to feel nervous—the followers were just ordinary civilians. Their clumsy attempts at hiding were obvious even to a ninja's trained eyes.
A wanderer without roots, like drifting duckweed, naturally became a prime target for certain "dark forces." Yet a group of ordinary people attempting to rob ninja had to be said to have guts.
Fortunately, they didn't know that the two people they were following were actually ninja themselves, so there was no need to feel psychological pressure.
The Land of Rivers was in shambles. After staying there for half a month, Haseo and Tsunade had already carried out several "reverse robberies"—robbing those who intended to rob them.
Therefore, an unspoken understanding existed between them; their cooperation was seamless.
Appearing as if they noticed nothing, the two casually walked out of the city heading west, unhurried. Not long later, they encountered a group of bandits.
Surrounded from front and back, over ten robbers altogether blocked their path. The poor wandering performers were now cornered like fish in a pond.
The bandits varied in height and build—some tall, some short, some fat, some thin—but all seemed very conscious about concealing their identities. Each wore a mask covering everything except their eyes, while their weapons varied widely…
It looked like they had raided a circus backstage before targeting Haseo.
"Foreigners," the leader of the bandits spoke up, stepping forward. "Hand over your valuables, and we'll guarantee you leave with your lives.
Don't even think about resisting. Otherwise, what you lose won't just be money… We can always carve something extra off your bodies—hands, feet, noses, or ears."
The gang leader appeared somewhat small-statured, lacking real intimidation power. Although he clearly tried to sound threatening, his words simply lacked menace.
Haseo immediately saw through it—these weren't professional criminals. They likely were just common people who had hit rock bottom… Unless they were bored out of their minds.
The robbers observed the two "victims" frozen on the spot, seemingly stunned, and the gang leader believed his threat worked. He nodded at his subordinates, after which the group cautiously began closing in.
"What do you think?" Tsunade whispered to Haseo.
"Medium threat level, I'd say. Handle them the usual way," Haseo replied.
This bunch of amateurish thieves only aimed to steal money—they weren't driven by lust or the desire to mutilate their victims—so Haseo decided there was no need to go that far.
His so-called "usual method" simply meant stripping them bare and tying them naked to a tree to sober up a bit…
It wasn't winter yet, but being tied up naked would still be plenty cold enough.
Luckily for these bandits, the location they picked wasn't too remote—someone would probably pass by within a few hours… Maybe after a bit of hardship, they'd find a better path—or at least sharpen their skills before trying this line of work again.
Haseo just wanted to teach them a lesson; he certainly had no time to lecture or counsel them.
"Morbid sense of humor," Tsunade muttered quietly under her breath.
For such accusations, Haseo merely shrugged. When dealing with ordinary people, one always had to be cautious about how much force to use. At times like this, he actually wished the robbers were ninja—at least then he wouldn't hesitate to strike hard.
The next moment, the bandits charged forward fiercely… and that was it.
Including even their leader who had stayed farther back, they hadn't managed to react at all before suddenly finding themselves crashing onto the cold ground.
They were wide awake, but their minds had yet to catch up with what had just happened, and their limbs refused to obey.
"Now it's time for you to face the music."
Then they widened their eyes in horror, for they saw that man somehow pull out a Long Blade from somewhere and slowly step toward them.
This was exactly what they called "the bully gets bullied by someone even worse." Haseo didn't mind the effort one bit—he actually got a kick out of tying one bandit after another to the trees, each shivering like crazy from the cold.
Still, Haseo was pretty humane about it—he only gave them physical punishment and never meant to strip them of their dignity. Each robber retained two pieces of cloth: one covering their face, and the other shielding their buttocks and what lay in front.
Soon, it was the gang leader's turn.
As the main culprit, originally, Haseo had planned special treatment for him… while others merely got tied up, at the very least this one should have been hung upside down.
Yet just as Haseo casually started stripping him, unexpectedly, the man suddenly screamed loudly, pushed Haseo away with some unknown burst of strength, and sprinted off into the distance.
He ran while shouting hysterically—clearly terrified beyond reason.
Haseo blinked innocently and quietly withdrew his hands, appearing utterly puzzled about how this person had shaken off the body paralysis caused by a heavy strike to the nape.
"You're not dependable," Tsunade said with a shake of her head, already getting ready to give chase.
Outwardly, she criticized Haseo's cruel amusement, though this probably was just to maintain her image. Deep down, she seemed to find this kind of mischief rather amusing.
At this moment, however, Haseo reached out and stopped her. "Let him run. After all, he's the leader. If he gets stripped completely in front of his men, how would he carry on? Just one escaped fish won't matter anyway. I haven't really lost anything either."
"Nothing lost?" Tsunade felt slightly confused. Indeed, neither of them had truly been robbed.
But as soon as Haseo said that, the guy had already vanished into the distance, so Tsunade decided not to bother chasing after all.
Then, seemingly afraid these people might freeze to death, Haseo kindly lit a bonfire for them. The flames blazed quickly and intensely. Feeling the warmth spreading through them, many of the bandits even shed grateful tears.
What ungrateful bastards—after stripping them bare and burning their clothes right in front of their eyes, they still had the nerve to cry.
"Fellas, turn over a new leaf—strive to become good guys like me!"
With those final words of advice, Haseo and Tsunade turned and left the scene.
They had already stayed in the Land of Rivers long enough. Next was the Land of Wind, specifically the Daimyo's Castle.
Night gradually fell, and the temperature dropped even further.
The bandits who ran into Haseo really couldn't catch a break. Not only did they foolishly try to rob an elite Jonin, but after being frozen stiff for the whole day, no one had come to rescue them yet.
This place wasn't far from the city, and usually this road bustled with people. And yet, not a soul had passed by all day.
"W-What sh-should w-we d-do? A-Are w-we g-going t-to fr-freeze t-to de-death?"
"D-Don't jinx it! B-Big Sis r-ran off, r-right? Sh-She'll c-come b-back f-for us."
"I-I al-already t-told y-you, y-you s-should c-call h-her Big Sis."
"O-Okay, b-but I th-think it's un-unreliable. B-Big Sis s-seemed r-really s-scared. It w-was h-her f-first tim-time out, an-and s-she r-ran str-straight int-into th-those scumbags…"
"Y-Yeah, th-those scumbags."
Even though each one was shivering so hard their teeth chattered and their tongues went numb, the bandits spat out "scumbags" with surprising clarity.
But even if others mistook Haseo for a dirty old man, there were just some people who weren't undeserving of it.
After all, she was the young lady of the house.
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