It was the 60th year of Konoha, on the night the Konoha Crush was finally put to rest.
The hot spring of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.
Naruto, exhausted after a full day of running and fighting, finally threw himself into the steaming hot spring, letting out a groan of pure contentment.
Also in the pool were: Sasuke, Kakashi, and the Pervy Sage.
It was quite the gathering of wise men, old and young alike.
Naruto hadn't called Kakashi and Jiraiya over just for a simple bath.
The Third Hokage had already officially announced his retirement, and the seat of the Fifth Hokage was to be chosen soon!
He, Naruto Uzumaki, had finally come across a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
Within the steamy Uchiha hot spring, the four of them relaxed in different postures, enjoying the comfortable water. Several floating trays dotted the surface, holding fruits and cola.
"Gulp—gulp—ah!"
Naruto took several large gulps of ice-cold cola, the chilling sensation making him grin in satisfaction.
He turned his head to the left.
Kakashi-sensei was leaning against the edge of the pool, his body sliding down as if boneless, the water nearly reaching his chin. His signature half-closed dead fish eyes stared blankly at the starry sky through the swirling steam, with both his Sharingan and normal eye showing a vacant, out-of-body expression.
Tsk, Naruto grumbled to himself. Is it because of what happened with Kakashi-sensei's father today?
He then turned his gaze to the right.
The Pervy Sage was also uncharacteristically quiet, completely submerged in the water.
After all, a "friend" of several decades had suddenly committed a shocking act of betraying and killing his master. Anyone would be stunned by that for a while.
Seeing his right-hand man completely spaced out and his left-hand man seemingly isolating himself, the flame in Naruto's heart, the one called "becoming Hokage," burned even brighter!
He had gathered his two esteemed mentors to hold a 'coronation' strategy meeting, not to simply be lazy and steam in the sauna.
He was here to lobby for votes! To seek their help!
After all, in the higher circles of the village, he, Naruto, had pitifully few connections. These two were the only 'golden tickets' he could reach out to and talk to!
One, although he was a slacker, was a prominent member of the Jonin corps.
The other was a direct disciple of the Third, a legendary Sannin with seniority.
Both were highly respected and influential.
This was an opportunity he couldn't miss!
Naruto took a deep breath, brushed the wet, golden hair off his forehead, and finally got to the point, his voice filled with an unprecedented seriousness: "Kakashi-sensei, Jiraiya-sensei—I'm going to be Hokage!"
"Mhm."
The lazy Kakashi couldn't even be bothered to lift an eyelid. For months, he'd heard this declaration so many times he felt like his ears were calloused.
As for Jiraiya, who was just starting to climb out of his emotional slump, his small eyes looked at Naruto. Remembering the power and talent Naruto had displayed, he felt a deep sense of relief.
Moreover, his belief that Naruto was the Child of Prophecy grew stronger.
Jiraiya smiled with a sense of peace, tousling Naruto's dripping golden hair. "Go for it, Naruto! Keep going down this path, and you'll definitely be the Sixth Hokage!"
"The Sixth Hokage?"
Naruto swatted Jiraiya's hand away, stating with conviction, "No, I'm going to be the Fifth Hokage!"
The laziness in Kakashi's dead fish eyes was instantly replaced by astonishment. He abruptly turned his head to look at Naruto.
"Pfft—cough, cough, cough!"
Jiraiya was so startled he choked on his own saliva, his small eyes wide as a pair of brass bells. The relief he had just felt was completely gone, replaced by shock.
"Hey! You little brat! There's a limit to how much you can joke around! The Fifth?! You're only 12! Do you even know what that means?!"
Jiraiya's voice suddenly rose an octave. "Do you even know what it means to be Hokage..."
He felt like he was about to explode! He himself saw the position of Hokage as a cage because it carried a responsibility that could crush a person!
But this kid in front of him was treating it like some kind of game?
Only 12 years old?! And he wanted to be Hokage?
In the corner, Sasuke silently sank a few more centimeters into the water, leaving only his Sharingan floating on the surface. His pupils were shaking: Isn't Naruto a Genin, just like me? How is he suddenly trying to become Hokage?
Naruto knew very well that age was a huge hurdle. He couldn't just force his way through it; he had to convince—er, move them with facts! If he couldn't even win over these two "big shots," what hope did he have of winning over the entire village?
So, Naruto began to lay out his arguments, entering his PowerPoint presentation phase.
He held up his right hand, a fist as big as a sandbag, which represented his moral strength: he had beaten Shukaku, crushed the First and Second Hokage, and mastered the Flying Raijin Jutsu! He asked if that wasn't enough power.
Jiraiya covered his face with a long sigh. "You brat, being good at fighting isn't enough to be Hokage!"
What about responsibility? What about strategy? You have none of that, and you want to be Hokage?
He held up his left hand, a palm as big as a frying pan, which represented his righteousness: he had taken down 188 enemy shinobi, saved 132 comrades, rebuilt 32 houses, and even earned 5 coupons for Ichiraku Ramen! He asked if that wasn't a warm and compassionate heart.
Kakashi's dead fish eyes drooped. "Just being a good person isn't enough to bear the weight of the Hokage."
What about politics? What about the big picture? The thought of these things gave him a headache.
"Ha! Don't be so quick to judge!"
Naruto flashed a sly smile, quickly placing his open left hand like a lid over his tightly clenched right fist, bringing the two together!
"How about this? Wielding a fist as big as a sandbag to beat up enemies while using a warm hand to rebuild our home."
Kakashi & Jiraiya: That's... not a bad argument.
But they both knew that, while it was a bit of a stretch, it at least shut them up.
Jiraiya finally scratched his wet hair and reluctantly caved in. "Alright, alright, old man, I'll stick my neck out and nominate you!"
He then immediately poured cold water on Naruto's ambitions. "But listen closely, you little brat! Don't get your hopes up too much! How old are you? Get some solid experience for a few years, and I'll back you for the Sixth! But right now... it's difficult!"
"Alright! A nomination is all I need! Thanks, sensei!" Naruto grinned brightly, nodding so vigorously his head bobbed like a gourd.
With the nomination secured, he could let the storm of public opinion be stirred up by the Ninja World Daily! What was the point of starting that newspaper in the first place? It was for moments like these, to make a big splash!
Tsk... His main task for the day was complete, so Naruto started caring about other things.
Like Kakashi-sensei's love life!
Naruto's head swiveled toward Kakashi, his blue eyes sparkling with the light of a gossip radar.
"Kakashi-sensei! How are things going with Hana-neechan?"
He gave a mischievous wink. "How far have you two gotten? Tell me!"
Kakashi was still half-paralyzed in the water, his dead fish eyes not moving an inch. His voice was lazy. "Yesterday... I walked her home."
"Ohhh—"
Naruto drew out the sound, excitedly splashing the water. He could already imagine what happened next. He mimicked a romantic TV drama tone: "And then? 'Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?' And then... 'It's late, why don't you stay the night?'"
Kakashi finally turned his head, giving him a look that said, You're an idiot. "No, I just left."
"Huh?!"
Naruto leaned back in an exaggerated manner, sending a huge splash of water everywhere, his face a picture of disappointment. "Kakashi-sensei! That's... that's a complete waste of opportunity! What a waste!"
In a flash, he couldn't help but ask again, "So, have you two ever slept together... I mean, have you ever seen the sun rise together?"
Kakashi silently sank a little deeper, leaving only his head and dead fish eyes above the water. "No."
"What about a kiss?!"
Naruto practically lunged at Kakashi, his eyes wide as bells.
"...No." Kakashi's muffled voice came from under the water.
"Eh?"
Naruto let out a long, incredulous sigh. Is the ninja world... really this conservative?
Suddenly, his eyes swept over Kakashi's face like a searchlight, finally locking onto that eternal mask. A horrifying thought suddenly struck him!
"Kakashi-sensei!"
Naruto's voice shot up, filled with disbelief. "Hana-neechan... she doesn't even know what you look like under that mask, does she? Have you ever taken it off in front of her? Even once?"
Kakashi's body went stiff!
Even though most of his face was hidden under the water, that moment of hesitation and the slight widening of his dead fish eyes betrayed everything!
"Oh no!"
Naruto slapped his forehead, splashing water everywhere. "He really hasn't!"
"Sensei, that mask of yours..."
Naruto couldn't help but get curious again: "Do you get a new one every day? Otherwise... ugh... the hygiene issues..." He showed a small expression of disgust.
Beside them, while Sasuke remained stoic, the corner of his mouth seemed to twitch almost imperceptibly as he silently retreated further into the corner.
Finally, Naruto, still completely baffled, asked, "So what does Hana-neechan even see in you? Is it because you're always hiding your face to be all mysterious? Or is it..."
He sized up Kakashi's listless demeanor, which was not even hidden by the water. "Some kind of unique... er... 'depressive aesthetic'?"
Jiraiya, who had been eavesdropping the whole time with a face that screamed "Gossip!", finally couldn't hold back anymore and interjected.
His small eyes sparkled mischievously, and his tone was filled with disbelief. "Hey, hey, little brat! The way you're talking... this 'Hana-neechan,' did you introduce her to Kakashi?"
Naruto couldn't help but feel a little proud. "Of course! Don't you know who the number one matchmaker in the ninja world is?!"
When he caught sight of Jiraiya's shifty-eyed, sneaking gaze, he remembered the old man's past reputation. Naruto's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and he quickly pointed an accusing finger at him.
"Hey! Pervy Sage! What are your eyes wandering for? Are you thinking of peeping into the women's bath again?!"
His voice was loud and righteous. "I'm warning you! I rented out this hot spring today! Sakura is the only girl on the other side! If you dare to go, I will immediately, right now, report you for peeping on a minor! I'll take it straight to the top! You'll be in big trouble!"
"Cough, cough, cough!"
Jiraiya choked, his face turning red. He quickly averted his gaze, covering his embarrassment with a cough. "Nonsense! I was... I was studying the mineral composition of the hot spring water! Yes, the minerals!"
After weakly trying to justify himself, he quickly changed the subject to avoid being pressed further by Naruto. "But seriously, Kakashi, it's great that you're starting to come out of your shell."
He looked at Kakashi, a rare expression of relief and paternal care on his face. "What's your plan for the future?"
He asked Kakashi, but his eyes kept darting to Naruto, clearly thinking that the "plan" would have to come from the "matchmaker" himself.
Given Kakashi's romantic IQ, Naruto felt that without his help, Kakashi would be doomed. It was a good thing Hana-neechan had fallen for Kakashi, otherwise, this path would be so much rougher.
For the sake of Kakashi-sensei's happiness, Naruto felt it was his solemn duty. "That's a no-brainer! Leave the rest to me, the 'Number One Matchmaker of Konoha'! As long as Naruto Uzumaki is on the case, there's no couple I can't set up!"
But...
Naruto looked at Kakashi with a strange expression and emphasized, "Kakashi-sensei, you know I've mastered Ice Style, Flying Raijin, and even Dust Style, but do you know why I haven't mastered Wood Style?"
It was a rhetorical question. Before Kakashi could answer, Naruto provided the answer himself. "Because your love life is progressing too slowly! Otherwise, I would have mastered Wood Style a long time ago!"
Kakashi's dead fish eyes remained still. He had already figured out that Naruto's mastery of these bloodline traits had nothing to do with him; Naruto was just looking for an excuse.
Still, he really should try a little harder!
Feeling utterly relaxed (except for the gossipy bombing Kakashi had just endured), the two adults got up to start their real nightlife.
"Let's go, let's grab a drink and talk about grown-up stuff," Jiraiya stretched, his bones cracking.
"Yeah, yeah! A few small dishes, a little sake, perfect!"
Naruto had had enough of the bath too, and he agreed. But then he suddenly remembered something, whipped his head around, and pointed at Kakashi with a serious expression. "Kakashi-sensei! Remember! Drinking is fine! But don't you dare follow the Pervy Sage to those... those weird 'salons' where girls are soliciting customers at the door! Those places are unhealthy! Be careful, or I'll tell Hana-neechan on you!"
Jiraiya, who was wrapping a towel around himself, stumbled and almost slipped! He turned his head and stared at Naruto with an expression of pure disbelief:
"You little brat! How... how old are you?! Where did you learn all this nonsense?!"
He was starting to question his whole life! This kid knew too much!
Kakashi silently pulled his mask up higher, his dead fish eyes filled with a deep sense of confusion about the world.
Are all kids these days so precocious?
Or is this blond kid just exceptionally outrageous?