Reality is veiled under the powers of dreams and wishes.
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"Hm…"
The alarm clock hasn't rang yet when the rays of sunlight seeped through the blinders. I woke up to find out I hadn't properly closed it last night.
Looking at the phone beside my bed, I found out it was 7 AM in the morning. The university I am in does not offer much freedom in this regard. Once you pick a course, there's already a set of other courses to take. We are lucky to be able to choose when to take the optional courses, however.
It just so happened that there's one at 8 AM today.
I stayed on the bed for a while and rubbed my eyebrows. The all-nighter from before utterly exhausted my will to attend any classes today.
Apart from the optional course, I have a major course at 2 PM.
So…
…
…
…
I woke up with a strong headache five hours later. The sleep I sought for did not come to me.
I lazily stood up from my bed and did my usual routine. Taking a shower, brushing my teeth, picking up my lunch…
All sorts of thoughts flew inside my mind.
Being in the university sucks a lot. They overload you with things your high school teachers wouldn't have taught yet. There is a lot of catching up depending on which school you studied at.
I am lucky enough to study in a good school, that's all.
Even then, there is also the social aspect. Being an outcast only made my life more miserable during the first year. I wasn't the type to socialize nor to initiate conversations. The best I could do is to put up some false front.
I missed out on a lot of things. Friendship, review materials, review sessions, and of course, having good group members in a group project.
I broke out of this cage during my second year. I found out that some students here are easy to talk to—even girls.
It's just that…
Being the only guy in a group of girls feels very awkward. I do not stay with them for very long. The rest of my time was spent playing games, if not cramming for the projects whose deadlines are tomorrow.
Of course, I wasn't that undisciplined. It was our professors who stack upon one project after another, as if they were the only professors we have that entire sem… when there are twelve of them.
I shook my head at these annoying thoughts.
I looked at the clock and saw an hour and a half remaining. I can use this to revise for a term exam tomorrow or…
Do my dailies.
I sat on a free bench and pulled out my phone. Like a true gacha slave, there are five games within a single folder. Fortunately, my foldable phone has enough specs to split-screen two games at once.
First, Wuthering Waves and Honkai Star Rail.
The latter can be done at autopilot at this point. The former's mechanics do not require extensive gameplay, either. I finished them both in less than five minutes.
Then, Genshin Impact.
It struck hard during the pandemic. Even though I lost the spark I once had for this game, I cannot bring myself to let it go. One of its perks was its slightly improved dailies… though it is a cope at this point.
I played Zenless Zone Zero alongside it. Compared to Genshin Impact, its dailies are easier to do. I used three of my fingers nimbly to control the characters below while navigating as Furina with my other fingers.
After that, there was one last game.
Honkai Impact 3rd.
I stared at my phone in a daze. The usual greenery around me brought a weird sense of relaxation. It felt like I had something stuck in my chest, but now, it is gone.
It marked my beginning to the gacha descent. Its advertisement of the Fifth Major Eruption (Manila Eruption) was all over Youtube back then. I felt curious about the game and downloaded it.
Then…
There's nothing left to say.
The story was boring at the early stages. I used to skip through most of it, only reading some parts to get a gist of it.
Things changed during the Will of the Herrscher. Things turned more serious… and dark. Instead of the comedic and somewhat lightheaded start, they killed a major character… Major Himeko.
Since then, I was locked into the story. I followed on through their journey to the Sea of Quanta, Bronya's Cyberangel, Lament of the Fallen, MEi's chopstick heels (to which I found to be impossible to wear), Shattered Samsara, and finally, Everlasting Flames. Then came the Graduation Trip that brought back the memories of this game's beginnings.
A series of despairing events, though they were swept away by a hope-filled theme. The years of fighting alongside the casts made me feel more attached to this game than before.
Heck, I even threw my free-to-play status just to max my Valkyries out. Every fully-built valkyrie stands on a sea of money… my parent's money.
I regret nothing.
The story itself started to get very convoluted in the later parts. Every technobabble they spat out made me lose my mind.
For example, Mei's "compass" prior to her Herrscher of Origin status. It was supposed to be a compass at first, and then it's a message, until finally, it was actually a legitimate beacon for the Authority of Origin to come down to her.
Unfortunately…
All good things have an end.
Part 1 ended. Kiana, the protagonist, slept on the Moon. She took away all of the world's honkai, including Herrscher Cores. I could still remain attached to it when APHO (A Post Honkai Odyssey) and Part 1.5 (Vita) came, but lost interest when Part 2 came.
Like Genshin Impact, I lost my heart playing my first ever gacha game. I never forgot the impact it brought, still. The power to remain hopeful in seemingly bleak situations, even if it leads to a bad ending, is a profound life lesson.
The fears I once had—of dying in my sleep because of this shitty congenital heart disease—disappeared.
What would you do if you came to that world?
A question suddenly rang in my mind. My heart started beating quickly.
It is a fictional world, but if I do come to it one day…
I want to meet Kiana.
To the brilliant person that transcended the barriers of reality and fiction to bring a huge impact to my life, I want to thank her.
What else?
I want to belong to it. To intervene at some crucial times. Major Himeko's death can sod off somewhere else. That's one of the examples.
But in truth, that's not all of it.
I want to be remembered.
I want to give back the profound impact they gave to me. I want to know more about these people—to talk with them. I have a feeling they will turn out to be great, no doubt about it.
All of my thoughts turned into a deep sigh.
I unknowingly dozed off from reality. Maybe it is what I needed after a tiring week.
Just as I stood up, I saw someone.
My jaw almost dropped.
A perfect, one-to-one Elysia cosplayer, stood three meters away from me. She wore the most beautiful Herrscher of Human Ego battlesuit I saw.
I met her brilliant blue eyes.
Something inside me clicked.
I…
…
My memories returned to me all at once. I brought the two Elysias to the Imaginary Space, hoping I could take on Origin's Authority.
Then...
This 'illusion' popped up. It turned out to be the trial I needed to face. I was surprised it turned out to be like this.
The nostalgic memory I had in my university dissipated, replaced by an endless expanse of pale pink clouds. The vulnerability and emotions I felt are very real, however.
"Isn't this an invasion of privacy, Miss Pink Elf?"
"Maybe~"
Her eyes contained a hint of playfulness within them.
"No wonder you can swoon cute girls. You are a clueless hot guy in your past life!"
"..."