Darkness!
Overwhelming darkness!
A quiet yet savage darkness!
When light is obstructed, darkness is born. But the darkness that has swallowed me seems to render the word "light" meaningless. It's as if I've entered a realm of eternal fog, where even the concept of light is exiled. In this void, I am nothing more than a foolish, neglected child.
Most people believe that if you paint a room jet black, turn off the lights, enter, and shut the door, what you'll experience is darkness.
But the darkness I see—if someone tried to pour black paint into it—even that color would disappear into this void. The name of black itself would be lost here, as if it never existed.
I don't know if I should consider myself lucky or unfortunate. Being here and being in the real world feels the same—indistinguishable. In fact, I feel more at peace here.
Here, there are no eyes that look down on me, no words laced with insults, no people who use me, no gossipers who hate me behind my back.
A life drowned in deep darkness—perhaps I've finally reached the bottom of that abyss.
But is this good for me, or bad? Why should I drown for others? Why should I fail for someone else's sake? The Creator sent me to this beautiful Earth only to test whether I am worthy of returning to my original and ultimate home.
So first, I must pass my test. I know that.
Yet even knowing that, I can do nothing. The weight of others' unreasonable expectations forces me to bow my head and drains my will to live. They want me to sacrifice myself—to the point that even if I died by suicide, they'd still stand by my grave and doubt me.
"Oh, you were honest, hardworking, kind, caring, and pure—so you must be a failure."
In trying to meet their expectations, I lost not only my inner joy but also my purpose in life. I've surrendered myself to the realm of darkness.
Though the darkness had long been in my heart, in my mind's river — here, I feel like I've entered its kingdom. A place where the word "existence" itself might be meaningless.
There is a strange silence here, yet a storm of questions rises in my mind —
If I were dead, would I reach the gates of heaven or hell?
If this were sleep, would I see even a hint of light or shadow in a dream?
But no — no feeling is clear.
So am I nowhere? Or in a place that means nothing?
Truth be told, I love to know things. As if I'm ready to do anything for knowledge. People call such souls "seekers of wisdom." Even that classification separates humans—those who seek, and those who do not.
But I'm not interested in pointless information.
I'm obsessed—nearly mad—for knowledge about existence and reality.
So, naturally, I want to know about my current state, my location, the reason for this, and how to fix it. But I have no mouth to ask. No tongue to speak.
Not just that—no ears to hear, no eyes to see, no tongue to taste, no nose to smell, no skin to feel, no hands to grasp, no legs to walk, and ultimately—no purpose to live.
Maybe those people cursed me for not fulfilling their selfish expectations. Maybe they wished for my downfall. But I want to tell them—I am more at peace than they will ever be.
Still, I doubt humans could ever do something like this — imprison me in the cruelest dark realm of some unknown dimension.
So what is happening to me?
It's as if someone has sealed every one of my senses and thrown me into the deep waters of an infinite sea.
I only feel… that I can feel nothing.
Only time — like a flowing river — passes silently beside me.
And I stare at it — silent, motionless, wordless.
Still, time flows.
Perhaps… so do I?
But how? To where?
Then, suddenly — I felt something change.
At first, I thought — is this imagination?
But no—
A faint, almost invisible sensation touched my skin!
Not air, not water—
I realized I wasn't floating anymore. I was slowly sinking.
It was like I was descending through a light liquid… and everything around me was becoming thicker, heavier, denser. Like I was entering a transparent, invisible substance—
Like sinking from light water into thick, slick oil.
A pressure enveloped me, a cold substance clinging tightly to my skin, slowly covering me.
And then, for the first time—
I felt I wasn't just sinking, I was arriving somewhere.
Suddenly!
I hit something—a massive, invisible wall.
But it wasn't solid.
Rather, it felt like something made of heaven's softest material—
Like a cloud, but more alive.
As if someone had intricately designed a mysterious world inside this wall.
The wall felt like jelly—
Cold, trembling at my touch, strangely responding to my existence.
So alive it seemed to have a heartbeat.
Could it be… a gateway?
A hidden portal to a magical world?
If I had eyes, I might have seen its color.
But now, only through my skin, I sensed—
I was stuck to the wall's body.
And now, slowly, it was absorbing me…
Through an intense void, I was entering a secret realm,
Where the word "light" is forbidden, and "existence" is but an ancient rumor.
I feel this must be the entrance to another realm.
A world of darkness that one must cross a long, shadowy path to reach.
And at last, I entered it by passing through this incredible wall.
I continued moving through that wall for about 10 minutes.
And then—just as I imagined—suddenly I passed through it.
I opened my eyes and stared in astonishment.
Truly!
This is an… unimaginable world!
Maybe waiting for me… is an epic adventure.