LILITH
If you've ever had the temptation to eat a man alive, let me assure you. It's not as fun as it sounds.
They scream. They plead. They whine. They offer mundane trades.
I'll give you anything you want. I have money. I can call someone.
Yawn. Human men were so boring. But the flesh wants what the flesh wants. I slurped down my last victim, with nary a crunch of his bones, and a splatter of blood dripping off my chin.
I recall the memory with boring fondness, while tapping my nails on the aged, rugged desk, looking at the profile in front of me.
"So?" Viola says inquisitively, peeking over my shoulder
I glance up, noting a sinister grin on her lips, the tip of her fangs just barely showing. Her snow-white skin pressed against my shoulder.
"Can you get your breasts out of my face, before I tear them off?" I bite back. She's so fucking nosy.
"Who pissed in your coffee? I was doing you a favor, Lilith. Thought you'd be happy I caught him." Viola flashes her fangs at me, and I can practically hear her hissing.
"You're right, I'm sorry." I soften my tone, not letting my sarcasm peek through.
"Really?" Her flawless face looks hopeful.
"No, bitch, now back off before I shove my horns into your chin." I hiss, irritatedly tapping my stilettos against the floor.
"Okay, you need to eat. STAT. You're such a raging bitch when you don't." She winks at me, sashaying out of the office, like some human runway model. Vampire or no, she was the only one who knew not to take anything I said personally. I was a very different demon when I was hungry. The humans called it hangry, but I don't know if that encompassed the burning rage I carried when I wanted to slurp up a human soul.
She flips me off as she leaves the office.
I blow her a kiss and get back to my work.
My father, Mr. Faneg, had created the ultimate dating website for monsters. Probably in hopes that I'd meet my match. But for me, it had become a quick way to meet a snack.
And my next one was on the screen in front of me, with an error flashing over his profile.
ERROR HUMAN DETECTED
ERROR HUMAN DETECTED
The neon blinks over and over on the screen.
I enter my code to run a thorough check on him. Planning on going to his house, pulling him out by his legs, and eating him piece by piece.
Fake incubus profile? Glowing abs from Photoshop? NightmareVoid6?
I laugh so hard I nearly choke on my espresso and light my desk up with a fireball.
"Another freaking wannabe?" I take a sip from my cup. I have all of his details pulled up, but something about his faded black sweater, goofy grin, and fake glowing abs nags at me. Why? Why do I even care?
Viola sashays back into the room, "Your father asked me to give you this," she says, setting down a small pile of papers.
I take a quick look. Expense reports, shipping dates, etc…
"Viola, kindly remind my father I'm not his slave or his secretary." I toss the papers into the trash.
She looks at the garbage, then back at me, pausing for a long moment.
"Okay, well…if you're done, run along." I wave my hand in dismissal. "Now shoo." She doesn't budge.
"Okay," she hesitates to speak, "well, maybe your father didn't send me here. Maybe I was just curious about what you were going to do with the human?"
"Damn your nosiness, Viola." I turn my eyes to the screen, looking at the extensive report I pulled on him. Nothing extraordinary. A couple of failed relationships. Mom lives across town. Dad lives in California. "He'd certainly be the most boring human I've munched in a while." I snap back.
"Maybe you play with your food before you eat him?" Viola bites her finger, raising one eyebrow.
"Do you want him?" I hiss, irritated at her snooping.
"I mean," she twirls her golden hair around one of her perfectly manicured nails, flashing her fangs. A familiar bloodthirsty look in her eyes. The moment she does so is the moment I knew that I'd never let her have him.
"Yeah, right. Go back to work, before I—" She nods, darting from the room before I can finish my sentence.
Dave.
Hmmm…could be fun.
It had been 12 hours since our last message. Time to up the ante. I would never let Viola have anything of mine.
Lilith666: I didn't scare you, did I?
I see his cursor flashing, followed by wriggling dots. He was typing something.
Maybe a book. He stopped typing. Then started again.
Darling boy was trying to come up with the perfect response.
NightmareVoid6: I was about to ask the same of you?
I giggle-snort, my demon tail swishing back and forth in delight.
He had officially entered the battlefield.
I suppose I can play along with him until I get hungry.
Lilith666: So, do you want to meet up?
I can practically hear his heartbeat through his chest on the screen.
NightmareVoid6: Yeah, I was just waiting for you.
This was just the kind of cocky energy that made me tear a guy limb from limb.
I couldn't wait.
Lilith666: Okay, tonight, 7:00 PM. I'll have my driver pick you up. Be ready.
NightmareVoid6: Shouldn't I be… he starts to message me, but I black out the entire system before he can finish.
It won't be the last time I do something before he can finish, I think slyly.
***
I sit at the bar, legs crossed, making sure my skirt is slit ungodly high up my leg so when he sees me, he won't be able to piece two words together.
I swirl my Deviltini, seductively licking the rim, knowing every beast in here wants me. But they all know my dad, and none of them have the balls to take their chance.
The lights are dim but flashing, the music is loud and off beat, and as I look toward the entrance, I see him.
Dave. Plain old Dave. Human Dave.
Wearing the same black hoodie in his profile pic, and on top of his head, the stupidest, fakest pair of demon horns I've ever seen.
I start to guffaw in laughter, until I notice I'm not the only one who's seen his fake ensemble.
A vampire near the entrance immediately starts sniffing the air.
Shit. He smells him.
I jump down from my barstool, my stilettoes hitting the hard concrete floor.
"I wouldn't touch him, if I were you, fang banger."
"Bitch," he flashes his fangs at me.
"Great, I'll make sure to let Mr. Faneg know your opinion of me." I clutch my purse in one hand, while tapping my right foot, and raising a knowing eyebrow towards him.
He immediately catches the drift and ghosts me faster than any otherworldly spirit.
"Wow, Mr. Faneg must be pretty scary?" Plain Dave asks.
"You have no idea." I hiss, still pissed that the second vampire of the day has tried to slide between me and my human.
He steps back, and I realize how I must have come off. His thoughts are like a banshee on espresso, and he's terrified of me and is afraid I'm going to tear his throat out. I slip out of pissed off mode, and instantly into seductive temptress mode.
"So, come here often?" I tease.
One look at me, slit of my dress up to my hip, cleavage overflowing, and a teasing smile and he's putty.
"Wow… you look…" His eyes trail up and down my body and linger in all the right places. "Damn woman," he finally says.
"Wow, you're a real Shakespeare, aren't you?" I flick my hair over my shoulder, turning my back on him.
"Wait, I can do better!" he chases after me like the stupid human he is, an act that's normally appalling.
"Right, you intend to weaponize pleasure to ghost me in style," I say over my shoulder, not bothering to make eye contact as I order another drink.
"Listen, I, uh…." He stutters awkwardly as he sits next to me. "Look, I'm not good at the whole dating thing. Truth is… I haven't been out, well, never mind. Just know, I don't fit in with," he looks me up and down. "Anyone, really." he looks down at the floor, scuffing his toe on the ground.
Adorable. To the gods be damned. I think I'm smitten.
Just then, my phone buzzes.
Daddy.
Shit. I open it up to see an all-caps text.
YOU'RE WITH A HUMAN?
And simultaneously, the music in the bar stops for a beat. And in that single second, I hear his heartbeat. Loud. Mortal.
Too close.
To my dismay, I notice that every supernatural being in the room hears it too.
All at the same time, I realize my father is watching. Along with everyone in the club.
And last but not least, I know for a fact I don't want to eat him.
Shit shit shit.