It started small.
Missed texts.
Short replies.
A look in Ace's eyes like he was somewhere else, even when he was right beside me.
I tried to tell myself it was the stress. That maybe I was imagining it.
But you don't imagine silence.
And Ace's silence?
It was loud.
---
Friday after school, I waited by the bike racks. Hoodie zipped up to my chin, heart racing for no reason I wanted to admit.
He was supposed to meet me.
He didn't show.
No text. No excuse.
I waited 23 minutes.
Then I walked home alone.
---
By Saturday, he still hadn't messaged.
Melanie said, "Hope, this isn't on you. He's spiraling. That's what he does."
But I couldn't stop checking my phone. Couldn't stop replaying the way he said "I don't want to lose you" and then started acting like he already had.
---
Sunday afternoon, I was packing. Sorting books, folding jeans, organizing notebooks.
Trying to get excited.
Trying to not cry.
And then the doorbell rang.
It wasn't Ace.
It was Jaxon.
My stomach flipped.
"Uh… hi?"
He nodded once. "We need to talk. It's about Ace."
Panic bloomed instantly. "Is he okay?"
"He's fine," Jaxon said, stepping inside. "But… he's scared."
"I know," I whispered. "He thinks I'll forget him."
"No. It's deeper than that."
He pulled a folded piece of notebook paper from his pocket. Creased. Crumpled. Like it had been carried around too long.
"He wrote this two weeks ago. Didn't mean to give it to you. But I think he needs you to see it."
He handed it to me.
Hope,
If I were braver, I'd say this to your face.
But I've never been good at goodbyes.
And you deserve one.
I'm not pulling away because I don't care. I'm pulling away because I care too much.
You're going to England. You're going to be someone incredible.
And I don't want to be the boy who holds you back.
You saved me. You saw me. You loved me when I didn't love myself.
But maybe loving you also means letting go.
Ace
My knees nearly gave out.
"Is he… breaking up with me?" I whispered.
Jaxon looked pained. "He thinks he's protecting you."
"That's not his choice."
"I know," Jaxon said. "That's why I'm giving you the letter. So you can choose."
---
I didn't sleep that night.
I didn't pack.
I didn't cry either.
I just sat by my window, reading that letter over and over again, and asking the stars one impossible question:
Can you love someone… and still leave?
---