After yesterday's boring events, I tried to question myself again, but I can't, it doesn't work. I also remembered a little bit that the last time I saw myself this aggressive, it was a long time ago. Maybe I'm exaggerating too much, or maybe I think I'm exaggerating. Oh whatever. Seriously, why am I even thinking about these things? I have to get ready for work right away, I can leave breakfast for later.
"Thank you, take care of yourself. Also, have a nice day."
"I'm really asking you. I haven't seen you here for a long time, my dear. It should be normal for me to be curious. Even if I run an '80-year-old' patisserie, I won't forget my regular customers." with a small smile from the old woman
There's not much distance between my house and the patisserie I'm a regular customer of. That's why, on days when I'm lazy, I meet my food needs from here.
A really 80-year-old patisserie, huh. It's really weird when you think about it. The feeling of losing a regular customer, a customer you're really close to. I can't understand this feeling, but I can only conclude that it's sad. Again, expressing his changing feelings from his inner voice
Ivan set off to go to work with the food he bought from the patisserie. He did not forget to light a cigarette during his walk. As he continued to walk in the midst of complicated emotions, he said to his inner voice again;
"I hope today will be comfortable... Oh, I forgot, I can never be comfortable. Sometimes I really talk unnecessarily."
Ivan, who was the embodiment of depression, understood that he had no other choice but to see himself as he was. Because sometimes the actions he did and would do were seen by those around him as involuntary. He tried to overcome this problem, the reason for which he could never learn, by trying to suppress himself. When he saw that less than half of his efforts were positive, he returned to his work again and again. As a result of such questioning and the fakeness of people for Ivan, more depressive behaviors were seen. For Ivan, now;
"I can't remember my past or my future. Because for me, life is like the empty part of a jar. Unless you are filled completely, you will forever be the empty part of the full part. The day you realize that you will never be filled, you give up."
To Be Continued