The morning of baiqing arrival came, I heard he was boarding a ship with commoners with his identity in hiding, he had always been like this, not flashy, humble, and blended in with all those with different statue, this was what worried me most about him because i knew for a reason, that the kindest of souls suffer the most.
although quite unusual for me, i decided i'd wait for him at the harbour, before coming back home i wanted to take a stroll around the city with him like we always used to when we were young, i miss those times more than ever.
i asked hua to dress me in a plain commoner dress i had always kept for this exact kind of ocasions, i didn't do much with my hair or makeup, although its purple color was too flashy to go unnoticed, i did grab an umbrella with me to cover it along with my face.
my maid and i walked around the city, although the people seemed lively and warm, it could still not cover the terrible state of the chongniang, with the military spending raising due to repeated barbar wars, the commoners here have got nothing left to eat, at this rate we'll be soon entering a state of serious famine, all of this wasn't enough to stop the supposed rulers and their allies from holding their meaningless banquets that seriously do more bad than good, i sighed, what say do i even have in this as the evil cursed fourth princess anyway?
"hua, let's make a stop here" i commanded my maid as we reached a sword shop, one that looked quite decent, i entered and started checking the sword tassels section, i wasn't into swords or anything, but baiqing was so i thought it would make a cute gift for him.
from behind the shelf i was checking i noticed a little boy, 7 years at most, crying loudly as he was being deciplined by the shopkeeper.
"i told you, you can't afford a sword with those pennies, so stop coming here to play, you're bothering our clients" the man shouted as he was violently dragging the kid out by his colar.
"please give me one so i can protect my mom from the bad guys" the kid pleaded.
the bad guys he was reffering to were probably bandits, chongniang is flooding with them, i wonder what they did to his mother, poor kid.
one of the passerby outside intervened and stopped the shopkeeper from hitting the kid, he patted his head to calm him down, and took him back inside the shop.
i didn't count myself as a kind human being yet i still admired those who were, i was in awe until i heard the man's voice as he spoke to the little child, although it didn't hold much of emotions he still spoke in a calm reassuring tone.
"pick a wooden sword you like, i'll pay for it"
i had to look twice to believe my eyes, this was rui? the same rui that threatned to kill me the moment he heard my title?
the kid was jumping of happiness when he bought him that little sword , and rui was smiling at his excitement, who knew he could smile like that at others?
i lowered my umbrella to hide my face, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't be delighted to meet me anyway.
"hua" i called to my maid.
"the man that was just here now, go ask him for food"
my maid drew a bizzare expression, not understanding my sudden order, yet she obeyed it anyway.
i was bing pathetic in a way but there was something i had to confirm, after some time hua came back and handed me a bag of candy.
"this is what i got, my lady, what are you gonna do with it?" she asked.
i took the bag and hid it away, now i finally get it, he isn't a bad person, he is infact quite kind to commoners, he just hates the cursed evil fourth princess, the entitled pure representation of corrupt nobility, money wasting blood thirsty spoiled brat, i get it, if i heard such rumours about someone i'd hate them too, not to the point of wanting to kill them tho.
i finally made my mind on purple colored sword tassel with amethyst pearls attached to it, ones that resembeled baiqing eyes, purple was a shared color between both of us, it wasn't too flashy nor too plain, just the perfect shade, i paid for it and head straight to the harbour where i had to wait for baiqing ship to arrive.
and when it finally did, i could notice him marching out with the other passengers, black silky hair and bright ourple eyes, soft young face that seemed to have aged a little, he still looks like his 13 year old self, i missed the sight of him.
he saw me and came runing to hug me.
"you have grown so much, i can't believe you got taller than me"
it's true that no one warns you about the moment you see your little siblings all grown up.
3 years apart didn't make him any less talkative, he started reciting his adventures immediately, although i already knew about all of them through his letters it was still interesting hearing them directly.
we stopped at a nearby teahouse to rest before going back to the castle, after all it felt like a prison to both of us, one couldn't even talk freely without tianyu evesdropping and interrupting.
after a while i finally brought up his dropping out thing up, if anything he had to at least give me a convincincing reason, and i wish i didn't ask.
"older sister, i had only spoken to father about this, but i think it's time you know too, what i really want to do with my life" he said
what he wants to do with his life was a bold statement, one I knew I couldn't argue with.
"i want to become a spirit hunter, to avenge my family's death, and stop any more innocent from being hurt" he declared.
something in me snapped, out of all the reasons he could've stated he really picked the worst one, i stood up, words refused to leave my mouth,
"yan i know this is too sudden but-" he tried to explain.
"how could you do this to me.." i told him "i thought i could trust you why are you betraying me?"
I murmured words I knew he understood none of.
"yan, I thought you'd support me.." he said, shock clearly showing on his face.
I couldn't bear to hear more of his bullshit.
"yu baiqing you're nothing more than a traitor"
I left him behind in the teahouse, I didn't look back, he was no longer the only person I could trust instead an enemy I had to beware of, I didn't give him his gift, I knew damn well I couldn't stand between him and his dream, but at the same time it meant I had to prepare for a time where he would end up as a spirit hunter, and when that happens he'd no longer see me as his sister.