In which Kael is dragged before cosmic court, defended by a Spoon, and legally defined as "maybe a problem."
The courtroom was floating.
That was the first red flag.
The second red flag was the actual red flag unfurling behind the obsidian judge's bench, embroidered with three ominous words:
GLITCH HEARING IN SESSION.
The third red flag was Kael himself.
Still glitching.
Still... dripping.
"I told you," Kael hissed at the Spoon beside him, whose entire aura suggested parchment scroll salesman turned divine barrister, "we should've run when the clouds started chanting subpoena."
"Correction," said Spoon, smoothing his freshly summoned robe, which was mostly spaghetti patterns and possibly sentient, "you should've run. I'm now legally recognized as a free-range religious artifact. I go where the chaos is hot."
Kael looked down at his wrists.
Which were shackled. With glowingly passive-aggressive chains labeled 'Detainment: For Entities Who Should Not Be.'
Nice.
"Remind me again," Kael muttered, as the System's jury of reality auditors blinked into existence, all draped in quantum-red robes and wearing faces like tired bureaucracy come alive, "what exactly am I on trial for?"
Spoon pulled out a scroll.
It unrolled. Then kept unrolling. Then unrolled through the air and smacked one of the tribunal agents in the face.
"Well," Spoon said brightly, "you were reborn without a permit, became the Echo Sovereign while unlicensed, hijacked a divine artifact, started a cult by accident, initiated pickling-based deification, and—oh yes—tampered with emotional causality via unauthorized soup."
A pause.
"…You forgot flirting under magical influence," Kael added.
"That's subpoint G under romantic fraudulence."
A gavel banged. Except instead of a gavel, it was a sentient error log that screamed "UNHANDLED EXCEPTION: KAEL" with every slam.
From her high cosmic pedestal, High Arbitrator Veyra, the Tribunal's eldest authority, stood. She wore three masks: one for Logic, one for Memory, and one for Mild Disdain. None of them looked impressed.
"Proceedings begin now. The Entity Known As Kael is charged with violating the Reincarnation Accord of 77-C, willful misuse of glitch energy, unauthorized possession of sovereign-class potential, and excessive narrative interference."
She turned.
"Spoon, you may begin your defense."
Spoon stepped forward.
He coughed politely.
And then—
"Ladies, gentlemen, and reality-aligned void presences," he said, bowing so low his handle pinged, "my client is not a threat. He is a victim of unprecedented cosmic bureaucracy. He did not break the System. The System broke around him."
He paced, leaving behind faint soup stains with every step.
"He was reborn into a hostile narrative framework. Given no tutorial. Assigned a Spoon with a god complex—my bad. Subjected to romance flags, divine entanglement, and at least three engagement proposals he never consented to."
He paused dramatically.
"And yes, he may have—technically—formed a sentient cult and temporarily pickled himself into a minor divinity. But I ask you—who among us hasn't, under stress?"
"Objection," said a tribunal auditor, blinking into relevance.
He wore a cape made of broken timelines.
"Counterpoint," Spoon said instantly. "Your face."
"…Sustained," Veyra sighed, sipping liquid continuity from a chalice labeled 'TRIAL WINE.'
Kael raised his hand, shackles clinking.
"I'd like to represent myself," he said.
Everyone froze.
The courtroom shimmered.
A dangerous wind of unapproved narrative agency whispered through the air.
"Denied," said Veyra, with the tone of someone who once tried it and still had regrets. "You glitch when emotionally self-aware."
"Cool," Kael muttered. "Just gonna sit here then and watch my soul get retroactively evicted."
But the moment the prosecution stood—a literal hooded embodiment of System Law with no face and a quill instead of a hand—Kael twitched.
Because he recognized the aura.
Because it wasn't just a System Law agent.
It was...
"Echo," he whispered, eyes widening. "That's one of the Candidates."
The courtroom flickered.
Half the judges flinched.
The Spoon leaned forward, whispering urgently—
"Kael. If they're using an Echo Candidate as prosecutor, this isn't a trial. It's a test. They're trying to trigger your glitch threshold in front of witnesses."
"Oh good," Kael said flatly. "A setup."
"Like most dates you've been on," Spoon whispered back.
SYSTEM NOTIFICATION
ALERT: Glitch Integrity Testing In Progress
Observe Subject Reaction to High-Pressure Mythic Trial Scenario
Current Fragment Stability: 64% and flickering
Emotional Overload Forecast:
The prosecutor spoke, and every syllable tasted like static-flavored regret.
"You do not belong, Kael. You were never registered. Never chosen. You stole every thread of fate you now wear like a mask."
Kael laughed once, softly.
"Yeah," he said. "That's the point."
And the mask on his chest—the cracked Mask of Echo—lit up.
One shard pulsed.
One memory stirred.
One version of Kael, in a different life, in a different trial, made the same choice.
He stood.
The chains shattered.
"I was never supposed to exist," he said, voice echoing. "So stop trying to define me by systems you built without me."
The courtroom howled. The Spoon exploded. Literally. Confetti flew.
"Objection!" shouted Spoon's head as it bounced past. "My client is legally allowed to be awesome!"
SYSTEM ERROR:
Kael has initiated unauthorized emotional monologue.
Glitch Level: Sovereign Tier Unstable
Divine Verdict Pending…
High Arbitrator Veyra stared at Kael.
All three masks blinked in unison.
Then, calmly, she raised her hand and snapped her fingers.
Time stopped.
Sound froze.
Even Kael's glitch stuttered.
"This trial," she said, voice dripping with exhausted omniscience, "will resume next chapter. Because I need wine. And this is now very personal."
Next Time on Kaelverse:
"A Dreamscape, a Spoon Reassembled, and Kael's Inner Trauma Manifested as a Courtroom Musical."
You are not ready.
Kael is not ready.
The Spoon is probably still on fire.
But we're doing this anyway.
To be continued.