Location: Kael's Private Dormitory, aka the United Nations of Emotional Confusion
Let me be absolutely clear: did not want to hold a peace summit in my dorm room. I was aiming for waffles. A warm, buttery breakfast. A break from magical politics, fiancée-related chaos, and my spiraling existential dread.
Instead, I got all four of my noble betrotheds showing up uninvited, unannounced, and undeniably ready to turn breakfast into a battlefield.
Inner Me: Who needs international war when you have relationship tension and maple syrup?
---
### The Setup (Or, How Kael Was Betrayed by Waffles)
The day began with a dream. A dream of peace. A dream of waffles. A dream that was immediately shattered by a knock on the door that echoed like the voice of doom.
It was Seraphina. Dressed like she was going to battle, not brunch. Behind her, Belladonna skipped into view, humming what might have been a war anthem.
"We brought syrup," Belladonna chirped. "And secrets. Mostly syrup."
I blinked. Then Aureline teleported into my bookshelf.
"Your aura was... twitching. I came to investigate."
Then the door creaked open without being touched. Virellia entered in silence, her eyes like polished obsidian, holding a tray of enchanted butter.
Me: "I just wanted waffles."
System Message: \[NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: Maintain Peace with Four Fiancées During a Meal. REWARD: Emotional Survival.]
---
### The Seating Arrangement (or How to Strategically Avoid Eye Contact)
I tried to be diplomatic.
* Seraphina to my right (near the knives, dangerous).
* Belladonna opposite me (far from chemicals, slightly less dangerous).
* Aureline by the window (sunlight good, shadow magic bad indoors).
* Virellia at the head of the table (where she could see everyone… and judge them silently).
I stood like a host. A nervous, cursed, underqualified host with a fork and a crumbling sense of identity.
Inner Me: I am toast. Metaphorically and, if someone throws a fire spell, literally.
---
### The First Salvo: Pancake Politics
Seraphina was first.
"Kael," she said, slicing her pancakes with terrifying elegance, "you need to clarify where you stand."
"On what?"
"On us. This harem madness."
Inner Me: This is a trap. I recognize this trap.
Belladonna giggled. "I think he stands in the kitchen. By the waffles."
"He stands surrounded," Aureline added calmly, buttering her bread with shadow tendrils. "Which is a position of both power and danger."
Virellia didn't speak. She just passed me the syrup. Silently. With Meaning.
System Message: \[EMOTIONAL TENSION DETECTED. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACTIVATE PANCAKE DIPLOMACY PROTOCOL?]
Me: Activate it.
---
### The Pancake Diplomacy Protocol
Step 1: Offer food.
Step 2: Deflect with flattery.
Step 3: Hope no one summons a demon mid-breakfast.
"Seraphina, your strategic thinking is unparalleled. I feel very clarified already."
She narrowed her eyes. "Was that sarcasm?"
Inner Me: Yes.
Outer Me: "No!"
"Belladonna," I continued, "without your... creative... potion syrup, this gathering wouldn't sparkle the same."
"Aww, he noticed the glitter serum!"
"Aureline, your calmness anchors me like a deeply philosophical sea turtle."
She blinked. Slowly. Possibly recalculating my IQ.
"Virellia, your presence terrifies me in a way I find oddly stabilizing."
She blinked once. Then slowly began to butter another waffle. Progress?
---
### Flashback: Why This Summit Was a Horrible Idea
Yesterday, I had casually muttered to Headmaster Arkwright that I needed to sort out some romantic misunderstandings.
He nodded and said, "Good. Schedule a summit. Learn from politics."
I said, "I was thinking more... hiding under a table."
He said, "Even better. Do it with style."
Now here we are. My dignity? Fragile. My table? Crowded. My waffles? Cooling.
---
### Round Two: Waffle Diplomacy Breakdown
"So," Belladonna began cheerfully, pouring glitter syrup on her pancakes, "who kissed him first?"
The table froze.
Me: I choose death.
Seraphina coughed. "That's irrelevant."
"So it was you," Aureline murmured.
Virellia reached for her sword.
"WAIT!" I raised my hands. "Let's play a game. A waffle stacking contest. Winner gets... bragging rights."
System Message: \[DIPLOMACY INITIATIVE: Waffle War Protocol Engaged.]
Inner Me: I should've studied law instead of magic.
---
### The Waffle War
Belladonna summoned a swirling cyclone of syrup and glitter.
Seraphina engineered a pancake tower so symmetrical it nearly summoned geometry spirits.
Aureline had shadow tentacles stacking crepes with military precision.
Virellia calmly placed one waffle on another. Each one perfectly buttered. No magic. Just... discipline.
I was just trying not to cry.
Kael: "Who knew breakfast could be so aggressively metaphorical?"
Bartholomew the Diplomatic Parrot (suddenly arriving): "Loser washes dishes with their pride."
Inner Me: WHY IS HE HERE?
---
### The Turning Point
When the syrup exploded (again), and Belladonna was briefly turned into a sentient marshmallow, the tension finally broke.
Everyone laughed. Even Virellia. Or at least, she exhaled in a way that could be interpreted as a chuckle.
I collapsed into my chair, covered in flour, dignity, and faint horror.
System Message: \[Peace Treaty Temporarily Established. Duration: One Breakfast. Cooldown: Unknown.]
---
### The Final Toast
We raised our teacups.
"To not killing each other," Seraphina said.
"To romantic ambiguity!" Belladonna cheered.
"To observing protocols of closeness and restraint," Aureline nodded.
"To Kael," Virellia said.
Everyone blinked.
She looked at me. "You are ours now. Whether you like it or not."
Inner Me: My waffles are cold. My heart is confused. My fate is sealed.
---
### Next Time on: Yes, I Was Reborn...
Kael tries to attend a normal class.
Fails.
Summons a pocket dimension full of angry vegetables.
Spoiler: The carrots are carnivorous.
Kael's Message to Readers: Are you enjoying this disaster? Are you invested in my emotional trauma waffles? COMMENT. Or I will invite Bartholomew back.
System Bonus: \[Title Unlocked: Breakfast Hostage]
\[Effect: 10% more charm when serving tea in tense situations]