Epilogue
Izekial
I sat on the porch during the rain, overlooking the village I had grown up in.
I didn't have friends here or many positive memories of this place. Tomorrow, I'd be on my own from now on. I was a man, and I couldn't stay cooped up here all my life — I didn't belong here.
I'm a human in a village full of elves. I had no business here in the first place.
All because my father couldn't keep it in his pants, I was forced to live out my days feeling like a needle in a haystack.
My brother is the same, though he's way too naïve to have noticed anything was out of the ordinary — well, not until the incident in town.
Karrie was a half-elf. To us, her being born was nothing but a miracle.
But to the outside, her birth was an omen.
---
"Everything alright, Izekial?"
A feminine voice came from behind me — one I knew
"Oh, sorry, Miss Kyleigh. I didn't mean to wake anyone," I apologized.
Formality and manners were the one thing my birth mother had taught me before leaving us when we were younger.
I remember that more than I do her voice, face, or smell.
"Oh, you didn't wake me. I was… just getting some air," she said, her eyes wandering anywhere but me. She seemed unfocused and cautious.
"So… heading out tomorrow, huh? That's… erm, a big deal. Joining a knight squad. I'm—your father is proud of you."
She let out a deep breath
"Not many get the opportunity to do something like that.."
She had a soft, subtle smile
"Protecting people and helping those who are weaker and smaller than you.. You're just like your father, in that way
She played with her fingers, and her ears wiggled a bit — a trait Karrie had too — a tell that she had more to say to me.
"Miss Kyleigh, are you alright? If I made you uncomfortable in any way, I apologize."
"N-no, it's… I just…" she bit her lip.
"You're already sixteen, and I feel like I… well, didn't get to be the mother you needed all these years. I'm a klutz and antsy. I wasn't sure what boundaries I could set with you and Simon because I'm not your birth mother."
This wasn't a surprise to me. I figured eventually she'd admit that she held off on scolding and teaching — though I didn't really have moments for scolding — but I could always tell she was holding herself back.
"It's just… I can't help but feel…" she paused.
"That you're running away from us," she griped the railing.
I shuddered, at a loss for words.
Running away?
What did she mean…?
I…
"Miss Kyleigh, I'm sure you did your best," I said, giving a reassuring smile.
"And I'm not running away. I just think I found my calling, is all."
"You really shouldn't do that to a lady."
"I'm sorry?"
"You have that same smile as your father when you're just trying to be nice. I really want your honest opinion — and don't lie to me, okay?" she asked. She looked serious for once.
"Um, alright."
"Did I do something for you to dislike me and Karrie?"
My stomach dropped. She went right for it without a second thought. It was unexpected — she was usually so meek around me.
"I—" I stammered. "There's nothing wrong," I told her.
"Then why have you seemed so distant from the two of us? You treat us differently from your father and brother. I was just wondering if I did something wrong to upset you," she said softly at the end.
"…."
"It's nothin—"
She interrupted me.
"Look me in the eyes and say that. Then I'll believe you. You ignore me and her, and it seems you don't like being around us. If there's anything I did at all, tell me! I'd want to fix it. I care about you — all of my children!"
She was unusually pushy tonight. What is up with her?
"I…" I couldn't do it. Lying was one thing Simon was better at than I was.
"Hmph hmph!" Her cheeks puffed. I think she was trying to look angry or parental, but she only looked like a white-haired, red-eyed chipmunk.
I sighed. I hated this — all of it.
"There's no point."
She furrowed her brow.
"No point?" She tilted her head.
"In all of this — this relationship and this family charade — it's all… so pointless."
"So… that's how you really feel?" she said gently.
"It's not something you did or she did. It's just reality. You two are elves — you'll live a long, long time and outlive me, Si, and Father. You'll just forget about us and move on, which I totally understand. I believe it's best for both parties if we just ignore each other. It'll hurt less in the end."
There it was. Honest. Now she'd understand what I felt — now she should leave me alone.
"You really think I'd forget about you?" she said so softly, I didn't know if she was responding to me or telling herself that.
"Well, it's only natural when you live so long, isn't it?"
"Izekial Fillips!" she hollered.
I jolted — I'd never heard her speak so loudly before.
"I know your food preferences and your likes and dislikes! You hate green peppers but love Brussels sprouts! You're left-handed and like reading books on rainy days!"
"Like any of that really matters! You're missing the point! You'll fall in love with another man and have children with them too. We'll be an afterthought — a distant memory. Remembering useless facts like that doesn't mean anything!"
She took a breath.
"A mother could never forget her child's face, no matter what."
"---"
"Even if I remarried, I'd always love your father and the two of you. You're special to me. You're my first and only boys, and I'd do anything for you." She smiled.
"Bu-but we're only human?"
"You're my favorite humans."
"You barely know any—"
"That's beside the point!"
What was she talking about? Why won't she get it?
"Look, Izekial. You don't have to like me or care about me, but your behavior affects even Karrie. She's innocent and hasn't done anything wrong. She looks up to her big brothers, and you only have so many people you can call family in this life. At least before you leave, say goodbye."
"You're her biggest brother, after all."
"F-fine," I muttered.
"I love you very, very much — even if you can't bring yourself to feel the same. And even when you make mistakes," she paused, "I'll always love you. Caring and loving another person is scary — being vulnerable is even scarier. Just know that I'll always be here as long as you need me."
She walked back inside.
---
I took a deep breath… and walked in after a while.
I knocked on Karrie's door gently and opened it.
She was asleep, clutching that creepy little doll she made with Simon.
"I really do hate that thing," I muttered.
I knelt beside her bed and parted her hair.
"Simon is a much better big brother than I could ever be… but I'll try my best from here on out. I swear it, I'll protect you in my own way… both of you"
With that, I closed the door to her room.
I passed Simon's room,
He was still unconscious from our fight
"..."
I slung the bag over my shoulder and headed out the door.
I'd be back — a better, much more humble man. Then I could finally be the big brother they needed… and a much better son.
I'd see them again soon.
That much was for sure.