Chapter 209: Are You Out of Your Mind, Kaido?
Stussy returned to her seat, her face a dark mask. Who did it...? How did a thief get into the Tea Party?! What am I supposed to do now? Admit my failure to Guernica and activate Plan B? After I boasted so confidently... I'll be a laughingstock... She gritted her teeth in frustration.
Bonney, sitting beside her, was completely oblivious, happily licking the cream from her fingers, unaware that she had single-handedly thwarted a major conspiracy.
"Linlin!" she called out to Big Mom. "I can still eat more! Can I have half of the second cake?"
"In your dreams, Bonney!" Big Mom glared at her, annoyed. "If you weren't a child, I'd eat you... I mean, I'd give you a good scolding!"
"So scary," Bonney said, sticking her tongue out. "But I didn't eat it for free, you know. I can do you a favor."
"A little brat like you, so full of hot air," Big Mom snorted. "If Shane said that, I might believe it. But you? What could you possibly do for me?"
"Hold out your hand!" Bonney giggled. "Let me show you my Devil Fruit power!"
"You're a Devil Fruit user?" Big Mom was surprised. After a moment's hesitation, she held out her right hand. She wasn't worried. Even if it was a trick, her Haki was more than strong enough to nullify whatever this little girl could do.
"Here I go!" Bonney's palm glowed with a pink light, and Big Mom's massive body was instantly enveloped.
Poof!
In an instant, the bloated, obese figure vanished, her clothes hanging loosely on a new frame.
"What's going on?!"
"Is... is that Mama?"
"I had no idea Mama was ever that beautiful!"
The entire rooftop plaza erupted in shock.
"..."
Big Mom looked down at her own slender arms, then at the stunned faces all around her. She finally realized what had happened. "Napoleon! Quick, let me see what I look like!" she commanded, her voice trembling.
"As you wish, Mama!" the pink bicorne on her head chirped, transforming into a giant broadsword. Big Mom grabbed the hilt and stared at her reflection... and froze.
The blade, like a mirror, reflected a face that was both familiar and strange. A cascade of long, pink hair, exquisite, radiant features, and fair, flawless skin. A slender waist and long, powerful legs... This wasn't the old, ugly, fat woman. This wasn't Big Mom. This... this was the Charlotte Linlin from thirty years ago, the beauty who had captivated the world.
"MAMAMAMAMA!!!" Big Mom threw her arms wide and roared with laughter. "I'm back! I'm back! Bonney, you little rascal, you've given me the surprise of a lifetime!"
"Well?" Bonney said, proudly wiping a thumb under her nose. "Am I amazing or what?"
"Amazing! You're incredible!" Big Mom lifted Bonney into the air and planted a huge kiss on her cheek. "Hey! Bonney, that's the Age-Age Fruit, right? What a wonderful power! How long does it last?"
"I don't know, it's different for everyone," Bonney said, scratching her head. "A few days, maybe a month or two. It's not permanent."
"I see..." Big Mom was clearly disappointed. She set Bonney down and, with a glint in her eye, tried a different tactic. "So, Bonney, since you love the sweets here so much, why don't you just stay on Whole Cake Island? What do you say, Mr. Kuma? Would you be willing to leave your daughter here?"
"It is up to Bonney," Kuma said with a gentle smile.
"No way!" Bonney shook her head vigorously. Endless desserts were tempting, but it meant being stuck on this one island. Sailing the seas with her new friends was way more fun!
That didn't work? Then... Big Mom's gaze shifted to Shane, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Hey, boy. It's understandable that a once-in-a-century prodigy like you wouldn't be interested in my daughters. But... what if the offer was..."
"Don't even think about it," Shane said, his face darkening. This crazy old hag... she's unbelievable.
"Just a joke, you serious little punk," Big Mom pouted. She struck a pose, clearly enjoying the shocked stares of her guests. It wasn't until her gaze fell upon an empty seat at the table that her good mood soured.
"Kaido didn't send anyone?" her face darkened. "Katakuri! What is the meaning of this?! Didn't you tell me the Beast Pirates were sending a representative?!" She didn't really care who they sent, but to be stood up... was Kaido prepared to face her wrath?!
"I'm not sure, Mama," Katakuri said with a frown. "To not even send an envoy is disrespectful. I'll call him right..."
He never finished. A flash of red in his eye, he saw a horrifying vision of the future. "Mama! Above us!"
Big Mom and Shane both looked up, their expressions instantly changing as their Observation Haki flared. The other guests were just confused.
In the next moment—
"WORORORORO!!!"
A wild laugh echoed from the heavens as a massive, dark shadow grew larger and larger, plummeting toward them like a meteor. The wind pressure alone was enough to shake the entire plaza, sending Homies and guests alike flying.
"I-It's... Kaido?!"
"The Beast King, Kaido?! What's he doing here?!"
"Dammit! Two of the Four Emperors in one place! Is a war about to break out?!"
The Tea Party descended into chaos as the guests scrambled to escape. Only a few, like Morgans, were thrilled, eagerly pulling out their cameras.
Shane took a step forward, but someone was faster.
"ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY MY WHOLE CAKE CHATEAU, YOU LITTLE BRAT?!" Big Mom roared. She stomped her foot, launching herself into the air. A terrifying wave of Conqueror's Haki erupted from her body, her pink hair whipping around her like flames. She didn't bother with a weapon, simply coating her fist in black-and-red lightning and slamming it into the descending shadow.
"IKOKU SOVEREIGNTY!!!"
BOOM!!!
The entire top of the chateau was engulfed in a massive shockwave. Tables, chairs, and walls were obliterated.
Thud.
Big Mom landed gracefully, her eyes narrowed. From the deep crater in the floor, a figure as large as a demon god slowly rose, wiping a trickle of blood from his lip with a savage grin. "Hey, hey, greeting me with a punch? After all these years, you're still as hot-headed as ever, you old hag... huh?"
It was then that Kaido finally got a good look at her. He froze, his iron club slipping from his grasp and clattering to the floor. He tilted his head, his face a mask of confusion. "Are you... Linlin? Or one of her daughters?"
"You don't recognize me?" Big Mom sneered, lighting a cigarette. "Then again, the last time we met, I'd already started to put on weight. The me you remember... must be a very distant memory, you little brat!"
"It really is you, you old hag!" Kaido roared, then shivered. "Hey, don't strike that pose at your age... It's weird! The Linlin I remember is just a faint memory! What kind of black magic is this?!"
Bonney, seeing the direction of his gaze, quickly hid behind Kuma.
"That's none of your business!" Big Mom snapped. "Enough with the 'old hag'! Are you looking for a beating?! Now, what are you doing here? Did you finally decide to grace my Tea Party with your presence?"
"Don't flatter yourself, you old hag!" Kaido sneered. "If it was just you, I wouldn't have bothered coming to this greasy, disgusting place! I'm here for him!" He pointed a thick finger at Shane.
"..." Shane, who had been about to intervene, relaxed back into his seat with an amused look. "Considering Linlin just proposed to me, that could be easily misinterpreted, Kaido..."
"Worororo! So the rumors were true!" Kaido laughed. "You're really trying to recruit him! It's a good thing I came! I didn't think you'd succeed, but if you had, I would have been crying for days!"
"Hey, Shane!" He picked up his club and slung it over his shoulder. "You haven't agreed to her offer, have you? There's no future with a woman! The Beast Pirates are where you belong! The show's over, it's time to come with me. My offer from Paradise still stands. You'll be my Vice-Governor... No! My second-in-command! And if you're still interested in a marriage alliance, I've got a daughter too..."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Big Mom sneered. "With your looks, any child of yours would look like a demon from hell! How could she possibly compare to my daughters?!"
"Don't you dare insult her, you old hag!" Kaido roared. "You've just never met her! Yamato is beautiful! More beautiful than you ever were!" He would not allow anyone to speak ill of his foolish "son."
"You!" Big Mom's face contorted with rage.
Just as the two were about to come to blows, a quiet sigh cut through the tension. "The two of you... just never shut up, do you? Give you an inch, and you'll take a mile."
Huh?
The plaza fell silent. Kaido and Big Mom both turned to look at the young man who was still lounging in his chair.
"Worororo..." Kaido's eyes narrowed. "Hey, kid, what's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means?" Shane let his legs fall open and leaned back, his eyes cold as he looked up at Kaido. "Linlin, at least, had the decency to be polite. You... you don't seem to understand the situation. What do you take me for? Some common thug you can order around?"
"I told you before, I have no interest in joining your crew. Are you deaf... or is it just that you're getting old, and there's something wrong... up here?" He tapped his temple with a single finger.
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