10 years ago...
"I don't want to be a human anymore." Is what I said as I looked out into the distance from the balcony of my dormitory. They say, the hardest thing about living through boarding school is getting through the bullying and constant push to compete. But do I heed those words?
No, of course not.
I was a stubborn kid who's just about to transition from my child self to my teenage self. All I ever wanted was to become an independent girl who can live through life without relying on her parents. A chance to prove myself.
...It was a mistake...
This place... It's like a slaughter house or a gladiator arena. One wrong move and you're thrown into endless fights to protect your sense of dignity and humanity. I mean, just because of the way I cleaned my clothes or the way I wear my clothes, they attack me like I was ruining their reputation.
"Not like I would walk with idiots like that." I monologued.
Just because of asking one question that I wasn't taught in my old school, they attack me as if I was asking a stupid question. As if I was the actual idiot.
"I'm not an idiot."
The worst part, was them taking my journal away and reading it out loud in class like some 9-year-old who just learned how to read.
"Everyone here...just wants to kill each other
..."
They want to see...who would the last one standing.
Yes, this is the kind of place I'm in. An endless ruthless gladiator arena to see who would be the last one standing.
"Not like they're any better. They just know how to hide it better."
But is my suffering really worth sacrificing myself anyway?...
"Adrian... wouldn't like it if he saw me do this."
Adrian...
I could only ever hear his voice in my head telling me stuff, calming me down when I'm sad, when I'm mad, encouraging me to study, do my homework, all that stuff. The only voice of reason I have whenever I almost decide to take the leap off the edge.
Not today though.
"Maybe instead of having myself do the killing, why can't the killing be done by somebody else...for me?" I asked the question to nobody in particular.
I'm just a teenager though. I don't have money to hire myself a hitman to come and kill me.
I shake my head. "That's just stupid. What if one day, I won't be thinking about all this anymore? Then I'll have a hard time trying to unhire the hitman later down the line. Haha." I cackled.
I looked behind myself as I heard footsteps coming from the corridor heading to the stairs. I checked the time on my watch. 1 am.
Please let it not be one of the seniors that are familiar with me. My heart raced, bumping into my ripcage so hard, it almost felt like it would just lunge out of my chest at any moment.
I waited. A cold sweat I didn't know I had was dripping from the side of my cheek and onto my shoulder.
I continued to listen. The stomping continued. Until...it was quiet.
1...
2...
3...
I let out a huff. Staying on the 4th floor; the highest floor, of the dormitory building, I suppose the person was probably heading to the lower floors as the stomping simpky disappeared before the supposed figure was supposed to be on this floor.
That's a relief.
I turned back to staring out into the distance from the balcony again. But it didn't took long before I felt a cold breeze passed behind me.
I turned back. Looking at the empty corridors with their lights still on. I could hear no sound or echoes coming from the stairs like last time. I felt the cold sweat dripping again, this time on my back inside my shirt. I leaned my back against the guard rail of the balcony.
The cold breeze passed behind me again. I felt my eyes widened even bigger than I thought I ever would. Turning around, of course I'm met with the edge of the balcony. But my heart was racing, and...my 'instincts'...
Yes, my 'instincts'. They're telling me something.
They were telling me...
"That's not a human."
I turned around again and saw it. Half of itself under the shadow while the other half under the light. Two legs... Two hands. Almost like a human. But one thing is different.
This thing...is covered in dark mist. The mist flows out of itself as it takes one step at a time towards me, no sounds of stomping at all coming from their feet. I look around at the corridors, still empty. I couldn't call for help. I doubt I could fight against this thing either... Whatever this is.
"Frick, why did I have to be born as a human..." Was what I said. I mean, I can't expect myself, a human-born to be able to protect herself against...whatever that black mist thing is.
It kept taking a step closer to me until I was already leaning almost off the edge of the guard rail. But that didn't stop me from looking at the one thing that does emit light within the darkness of that mist figure.
Its eyes. They were glowing red like the blinking light on an old phone when its charging. I kept staring at them. Though I clearly remember not to look at those red eyes like in those novels I read, something... My 'instincts'... just keeps telling me to look at them.
Look deeper...
And deeper...
And deeper...
Until...
"Argh!!!" I held one hand to my chest and the other to my right eye. Pain was surging all over me like I was struck by lightning or as if poison was coursing through every vain in my body. My right eye felt like it was about to explode and my heart really did felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
Or was it...my 'instincts'?...
"This is...too much...pain..." I tried hard to surpress the pain and control myself. But the pain was too much that it took control of my body until eventually, I lost my footing and what eventually came...
Was the cold rushing air behind me.
I saw the black mist figure right above me. Its hand stretched out in front of me. The pain somehow vanished as I instinctively reached out to the dark mist's outstretched hand with mine and I stared into its eyes once more. The red in their right eye had turned to a purplish golden hue.
No wait...was that a reflection instead?
The rest of what happened was a blur. I remembered the feeling of warmth coming into contact with my outstretched hand and then the dark mist from that figure surrounded me and everything turned dark.
I never felt a thud though. I felt like I was still falling amidst the darkness.
*****
The sound of water droplets echoed within the darkness. Each drop flickered a small halo of light as it lands within the darkness. Each step taken, the light in the water ripples brighter and brighter.
The sound of a finger snap just as quickly changed the darkness surrounding the figure wearing a black cloak as a small tunnel of light appeared in front of them. Their hoody hides their face in its shadow as they continue walking towards the light. In their arms, a small petite figure of what looked to be a 14-year-old girl is held gently.
Though asleep, her right hand continues to emit a constant flow of dark mist. It drips down from her hand as it hanged off the arms of the cloak figure carrying her. The moment the cloak figured walked into the light, the drips coming from her hand rushed itself towards the darkness behind them, seemingly in fear of the light in front of them.
The cloaked figure's head moves. They seemed to be looking towards the sleeping girl in their arms. Now that they stand in the light, the small smile hiding under the hoody was revealed under the light.
"You're quite happy, it seems." A voice, female, came from above them.
"Yeah, well... I've waited long enough for this day to come." The cloaked figure respond. A deep voice, a male.
"You did well, Adrian." The woman voice said.
The cloaked figure, Adrian, did not gloat on such a praise but instead asked a question. "How long will it be before she wakes up?"
"Probably one human-day or two."
"Will she-" Adrian asked again as he sat down on the floor to lay her down to rest on it while placing her head gently on his thigh, a somewhat makeshift pillow for her.
"She will still feel pain. But as I've said before, it is a part of the process from a regular human to a half-human half-shadow." The voice said. A yellow glow suddenly appeared above Adrian. But he didn't turn, instead a slender gentle hand slowly patted the left side of the sleeping girl's cheeks.
"She will be strong in the future."
Adrian look up towards the owner of the slender hand. Adorned with gold glitters flickering all around her. Eyes all white, no pupil in sight. His gold eyes sharpened.
"You better be right about that, Adelaide." Adrian look towards the sleeping girl once more. The glow in his eyes suddenly turned much gentler.
"She's gonna need that motivation." He watches as the dark mist that drips from her right hand continues to flow out of her and returning into the darkness.
*****
And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you
- Friedrich Nietzsche