Dante looked down at Hulk, sprawled on the ground, mumbling his excuse like a green toddler, and suddenly felt a wave of dizziness hit him.
He joined HYDRA's Winter Soldier program... just to get three meals a day!?
Sure, Hulk had always been more beast than brain, but this? This was peak food-motivated.
Feed him and you're basically his mom now?
"You joined… just to eat enough every day? You were okay with inhuman torture for that?"
"Hulk doesn't understand. What is inhuman torture?"
"It's when they break your will using physical torment, brainwashing, electric shocks, experimental drugs, psychological manipulation—"
"Oh! Hulk knows that! It didn't hurt! Haha!"
As Hulk laughed with this weird combo of smug innocence, Dante actually felt a bit relieved.
…HYDRA really is weak as hell.
They couldn't even crack Hulk's defense.
"But…" Hulk kept laughing, then his tone changed. "But Banner was scared. Hulk protects weak Banner."
"You mean… Banner was the one actually forced into the brainwashing?"
"Banner couldn't fight back… so Hulk became the boss!"
Dante looked into Hulk's big, sincere green eyes and shook his head.
So Bruce Banner, who always treated Hulk like a disease to be cured, was actually saved by Hulk when HYDRA captured them.
Talk about a reversal.
What a messed-up partnership.
But since Hulk wasn't truly brainwashed…
"Hulk, if I can make sure you get all the food you want, will you follow me?"
"But… red and green little man hurt Hulk. Hulk is angry."
"But you'll get full meals. And people to fight."
"People to fight?"
"Yeah. I've got a big, dumb, golden-haired guy at home who loves to brawl with strong opponents. And a handsome, sneaky black-haired guy you can toss around when you're mad."
"HULK HAPPY! HULK WILLING!"
Why does recruiting Hulk feel like kidnapping a giant child?
"Dante! Hurry up and summon the Red Lantern Corps!"
The Butcher's high-pitched voice echoed in Dante's ears, practically vibrating with excitement.
"This big oaf is perfect for the Red Lantern Corps... Oh! The sheer purity of this Rage Red Light!"
In truth, Butcher had wanted Dante to summon the Red Lantern Corps since the fight started—but the matching, intense Rage Light coming off both Hulk and Dante had distracted him.
All he wanted now was to slurp up that sweet, pure, unfiltered red fury.
But hearing Butcher's voice reminded Dante of Ion Shark.
Kinda weak, but with a soft boyish voice that had its own strange charm.
Dante extended his other hand and summoned the Ancestral Red Lantern Furnace. As usual, he gave Butcher a few casual pets with one finger.
Once sufficiently petted, Butcher started happily running laps inside the Lantern Furnace.
With each lap, the Red Lantern energy began to condense and swirl.
Pop.
A newborn Red Lantern Ring floated out of the furnace and hovered in front of Hulk.
"Intelligent life locked.
Hulk and Bruce Banner of Earth.
Your heart surges with rolling Rage Red Light.
You belong to the Red Lantern Corps."
Dante blinked.
Wait, did that thing just say two names?
That was a first.
Then again, Lantern Rings had never been assigned to two separate personalities sharing one body in canon either.
Guess the Ring was smarter than it looked.
---
Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield…
Hela was panting softly, her hair—meticulously styled by Ada and Harley—now slightly tousled.
She had to admit, this had been her most intense battle since crawling out of her dimensional prison.
All things considered, Cyttorak's clone had more punch.
But this guy calling himself Red Hulk?
Solid opponent.
"You were very good," she said, her voice smooth and regal.
"You were just… this much away from defeating the Death Goddess."
She pinched her fingers together dramatically, and Loki—who had been shamelessly slacking and watching from the sidelines—saw an entire damn galaxy between those fingers.
As for Red Hulk?
He'd been thoroughly smashed back into General Ross form.
Currently slung over the shoulders of two necromanced HYDRA soldiers, his trademark gray mustache twitched on occasion.
Still mumbling in a daze: "Hail HYDRA…"
Apparently, like Banner, his human form had been thoroughly brainwashed.
But Hulk was a whole other personality—one HYDRA couldn't corrupt.
Red Hulk, though?
After General Ross transforms, he keeps his own memories and mind.
Which means Red Hulk really did become a true Super Winter Soldier.
Unlike Hulk, who only cared about food and fistfights.
And while Red Hulk could absorb radiation and spit fire, he didn't have Hulk's busted stat of rage = infinite power scaling.
So when Hela lost interest?
That was it.
She'd traded blows with Red Hulk for a few entertaining minutes, but honestly?
Compared to battling Fire Giant Surtur or Frost Giant King Laufey?
Red Hulk's high-temperature attacks were just… mid.
"Witch calling Death! Witch calling Death! Do you copy? Respond if you hear me!"
The communicator, which had been on standby, came alive.
"Witch" was Ada Wong's codename. "Death" was Hela's.
To Hela, this whole 'choose-your-callsign' agent game was surprisingly fun.
"Death received. Witch, go ahead."
"The HQ building is secure. Two massive energy readings were just detected. Unknown origin. Engage or observe?"
"My Queen took one. I dealt with the other." She paused, eyes flicking toward Loki. "And Loki tells me the one I took down… was apparently a U.S. general?"
"General? The only one still missing from the roster is Air Force Lieutenant General Thaddeus Ross."
"Then that's him."
"And the other? Has Dante not resolved it yet?"
Hela didn't respond.
She wasn't sure how things were going on Dante's side either.
"Look over there!"
Thor, just returning from cleaning up another sector, froze mid-air and pointed to the horizon.
Hela followed his gaze.
It was where Dante had taken the green one earlier.
Right now, a massive column of pure Rage Red Light shot straight into the sky.
(To be continued.)
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