If the system had a physical form, Dante would have already given it a front-row seat to a personal demonstration of pain.
He honestly couldn't tell if his luck was just that bad, or if whoever coded this system was just twisted for fun.
Captain Cold's mechanical engineering talent was legit. The guy wasn't one of those "rich people with tech" types—he relied on good old-fashioned hand-built mods, with a side of black magic tech sprinkled in.
There was something about it that gave off weird Goblin Tech vibes.
As for Heat Wave, well… there wasn't much to pull from combat-wise, but his "literary foundation" skill? That was unexpectedly abstract.
Granted, if you looked at the Legends of Tomorrow version, then yeah, Heat Wave was technically a bestselling romance novelist writing under the pen name Rebecca Silver—so popular that he time-traveled just to attend his own book signings.
But seriously... what the hell was Dante supposed to do with that!?
This was a comic universe.
Next up: Constantine's black magic. Didn't feel all that intense at first glance, but once Dante got hands-on, he realized the real perk.
Versatility.
In theory, black magic could be used to assist almost anything he did.
In practice, though? He had to stomach some truly revolting casting mediums...
Just thinking about the show's eyeball jars and foot-chopping rituals made his stomach churn.
Only someone like Constantine could do this stuff with a straight face.
And now, for the "appealing" part of that appealing-yet-smelly combo.
Thor's lightning manipulation.
This wasn't referring to his built-in Asgardian god powers, but his actual control over natural lightning.
Technically, it was an ability from Thor, but the way it played out felt more like something Storm would do.
Still—lightning was lightning.
And lightning was always, always cool.
Being cool was serious business.
Then came the real prize of the entire haul: the Unstoppable Incarnation of Power.
Juggernaut's signature trait didn't boost his strength or energy directly.
Instead, it worked off a brutal mechanic: once Juggernaut started moving in a direction, stopping him was virtually impossible.
Sound abstract?
Put it like this: once Dante charged, he basically became immune to control effects.
In Juggernaut's case, it meant one thing—if he rushed forward, you either dodged or got flattened.
"Dante? Are you even listening? Dante!"
"Captain, respond if you can hear me."
Right then, Skye and Ingrid's voices came through the comms again. Until now, all he'd gotten was static.
With the connection between Cyttorak and the Crimson Gem completely severed, the residual energy had been absorbed by the Red Lantern Ring. Space distortion had snapped back to normal, which meant the comms network was back online too.
"Dante here. Mission's fully resolved."
"Copy that. Every electronic system inside Fox River just went haywire a minute ago," Skye replied. "Comms only came back just now. But all the civilian gear inside the prison is still fried… So—what the hell happened in there?"
"Long story. You'll get a full report," Dante said, opening a portal. "Oh—and tell Coulson and the others to send in a full cleanup team."
He glanced back at the giant hole in the prison wall and the cratered ground in front of the warden's building.
At this point, the FBI probably needed a whole "Science Uncovered" task force—something specifically built for coverups and wiping data from civilians who weren't supposed to know a damn thing.
...
Back at FBI Headquarters, standby personnel were already lined up to meet them.
The ever-reliable Ada Wong had already locked up Captain Cold, Heat Wave, and Constantine in the Bureau's modular superhuman containment cells.
Each got their own room. Treatment was excellent—five-star inmate experience.
After hearing her quick summary, Dante gave a nod and then gently shoved Dr. Jack Bright who had been lurking next to him this whole time forward.
"This is Jack Bright. As of today, he's officially joining the Bureau and will be part of the Internal Affairs Team. Oh—and Ada," Dante flicked his chin in her direction. "Use my terminal to send out a full-frequency, top-priority broadcast across the entire Bureau system."
"Okay. What's the message?" Ada said as she took Dante's personal terminal from her jacket.
Yeah, that was normal. Besides Dante himself, most of his gear ended up with the women around him.
His phone? That was currently Hela's new toy.
The Quinjet's activation key? Harley Quinn had it stashed somewhere.
"Effective immediately, no one—absolutely no one—is allowed to touch Dr. Jack Bright's pendant."
Dante shot Jack a quick look.
"You too. Don't flaunt it. Tuck that thing inside your shirt."
"It's kind of uncomfortable in there…"
"You want to end up with a seat in the bottom of a trench?"
"Alright, alright, you're the boss," Jack muttered as he shoved the pendant inside. "So… does this mean I'm one of you now?"
"One of us? Not exactly."
Dante still didn't know why Dr. Jack Bright had ended up in the real-world universe.
Was it for some hidden mission? Or just to run from trouble?
Either way, the safest move was to keep him where Dante could see him.
That said—intentions, ethics, and general chaos aside—Dr. Jack Bright was a certified genius in bioengineering and anomalous genetics.
The X-Men had already brainwashed a group of HYDRA scientists from Latveria who'd specialized in X-gene studies, and even with all that brainpower, they were still stuck trying to crack the catalyst mechanism for activating the gene.
If Jack Bright joined the team?
They might actually have a shot at breaking through the deadlock.
"Alright, I'll do my best to fit in. So... when do I start? What's the salary and benefits like?" Jack said, instantly switching gears into onboarded-employee mode. "And most importantly—how's the cafeteria food? I'm telling you, the Foundation's food was criminal. Absolute garbage. We got to the point where the entire site depended on SCP-458 to feed everyone. Infinite pizza box. Saved our lives."
"Don't worry about salary. The Bureau never underpays high-level talent. The only hard part is… budget approvals."
(To be continued.)