The first thing I remember after dying was waking up on a pile of wet leaves with a bug crawling up my nose.
Not the grand, cosmic reincarnation I'd imagined.
No golden light.
No booming voice calling me the chosen one.
Just dirt, a headache, and a pop-up box floating in front of my eyes like a scam ad from a shady mobile game.
[System installed: GACHA — Everything Must Drop]
[Daily Pull: Available]
Honestly? I laughed.
''FUCK''
Then I cried.
Then I sneezed the bug out and hit the pull button.
[Daily Gacha Roll: Spinning...]
A flash of light. A jingle. And then—
[You received: One (1) Pair of Indestructible Women's Underwear (Condition: Never Worn)]
I stared at the silky black garment in my hands. My fingers twitched.
"…No way."
I pulled.
I stretched.
I even tried cutting it with a sharp rock.
Not a thread out of place.
It shimmered like the gods themselves had stitched it.
I looked at it.
Then I looked at my reflection in a puddle.
Then… I put it on my head.
Perfect fit.
"Helmet of the Gods," I whispered.
I only wore it for five minutes. Maybe ten.
There were no witnesses — I think.
Anyway, I stuffed it into my inventory pouch right after. I'm not crazy. I'm strategic.
It's indestructible.
That's top-tier armor in a world where six-year-olds awaken fire-breathing Martial Souls and start hunting wolves for breakfast.
...
I've been here for about some time now — not in the Star Dou Forest, obviously. I'd be dead six times over.
No, I'm on the edge of South Ridge, a scrappy patch of overgrown woodland just past the village farms.
Hunters use it to chase off spirit rabbits and collect herbs.
It's technically wild territory, but only barely.
Safe enough for a curious kid to pretend he's a Soul Master. Which is what I was doing. Obviously.
I held a crooked stick like a sword, crouched behind a bush, and whispered:
"Target acquired. Spirit beast: Leaf Chicken, class... legendary."
It was a chicken. Eating a leaf.
"Danger level: unknown. Engage with extreme caution."
The chicken clucked at me.
I threw the stick. It bounced off a tree. The chicken left.
"Mission accomplished," I muttered, brushing off my pants.
I'm not an idiot. I remember how dangerous this world is.
This is Douluo Dalu, the land of Martial Souls, Spirit Rings, Beast Hunts, and people dying dramatically in the name of cultivation.
I was born near the outskirts of a small village, not far from where Huo Yuhao — yes, that guy — is supposed to grow up.
He's the destined protagonist.
Me? I'm the guy next door with no parents, no bloodline, and no plot protection.
But I've got something no one else has.
[Daily Pull Available in 0:23:14]
A system that gives me one random pull from any fictional universe. Once a day. No rules. No balance.
...
So far, the results have been... mixed.
Day 1: Panties. Indestructible. Helmet-capable.
Day 2: A flashlight from SCP Foundation that only works in dreams. I don't want to talk about it.
Day 3: A spoon. Said to belong to "Zeno from Dragon Ball." Can't tell if it's real. Still a spoon.
Today is Day 4.
The timer ticks down, glowing faintly in my vision like a countdown to insanity.
And tomorrow… is the Martial Soul Awakening Ceremony.
Back at the village, people give me looks.
"Isn't that the weird kid with the… uh… fashion sense?"
"I saw him trying to trade a spoon for a spirit herb yesterday."
"Didn't he have something on his head last week? Like a hat… but not?"
I just smile and wave.
Gotta maintain the mystique.
They think I'm weird.
Harmless.
A harmless weirdo.
Good.
They won't see it coming.
[Daily Pull: Ready]
Here we go.
"C'mon, Sharingan. Or a Pokéball. Or at least a toaster with hidden soul power."
[Spinning...]
You received: ???
A glowing red orb appeared in my palm. It pulsed like a heartbeat. My vision blurred.
And then—
["Uchiha Lineage Fragment – SHARINGAN"]
[You may fuse this pull into your Martial Soul. This is a one-time option]
[Fuse now? Y/N]
I didn't hesitate.
"Y."
Something burned behind my eye.
The world tilted. My breath caught.
When I opened my eyes again… my reflection in the puddle stared back, one eye glowing red with a single, spinning tomoe.
The Sharingan.
I grinned.
Tomorrow, I'll awaken my Martial Soul like every other kid.
They'll expect a trash martial soul.
A joke.
Maybe another fake soul-detecting eye.
I'll give them what they expect.
Let them think I'm weak.
Let them laugh.
And when the time is right?
I'll open my eye…
And the world will start GLITCHING.