Chapter 148: You're More of a Weirdo Than I Am
"Ahhh!!"
Natsuki Subaru suddenly sat up on the bed, his face full of terror as he looked around.
Only after clearly seeing his surroundings did he slowly exhale in relief, covering his face with his palms, trying hard to calm his racing heart.
The physical pain and weakness had become trivial compared to the vivid reality of that abnormal dream.
He struggled to steady his emotions, but the scenes from the dream still lingered in his mind.
"Phew..." Subaru exhaled, then fell backward heavily onto the bed. At this moment, he didn't want to move or think about anything.
Sleep was supposed to refresh the spirit, but instead, it made Subaru feel even more exhausted.
If he could, he just wanted to close his eyes, forget everything, and have a good rest.
But the things he dreamed about robbed him of any sleepiness.
Moreover, he worried whether the people in the village had safely escaped, whether there were any casualties, and the matter of Geuse also awaited his attention.
Thinking of this, Subaru sat up again. As he prepared to get out of bed, from the corner of his eye, he noticed someone lying on the bed beside him.
The person lying there was Geuse, his complexion still pale as ever. Subaru looked closely at Geuse's face and then slowly spoke,
"Don't sleep anymore, the sun's already up."
Subaru glanced toward the window. Outside, the scenery was glowing red— it looked less like morning and more like sunset.
However, he couldn't tell exactly how long he had slept — whether it was just an afternoon or over a full day.
With his gaze pulled back from outside, Subaru looked at Geuse, who had opened his eyes and was turning his head toward him.
Geuse shifted his body backward a little and placed a pillow behind his back to lean against the headboard.
"How long has it been?"
"An afternoon."
"How's your body?"
"Not bad."
"You don't look like you've been treated."
Geuse didn't reply but instead imitated Subaru and sat up.
His expression shifted slightly as he moved. When he leaned back against the headboard, he finally said,
"This kind of physical pain is nothing compared to what I did in the past."
Subaru shrugged, looked over at the nearby cabinet, grabbed a book, and flipped it open casually.
"So, can I take that as you've made your choice?"
"...!!"
"What are you going to do next? Try to atone for your sins with this kind of wrong method? I think instead of self-punishment alone, it would be more practical—and useful—to do some kind of self-punishment that benefits the world."
Saying this, Subaru didn't raise his head, continuing to read the book.
As the contents seeped into his mind, his emotions gradually calmed.
"I know I will do it."
"Hearing that makes me happy. At least my actions weren't in vain. Otherwise, suffering such a loss only to get a result that makes no one smile — I'd probably be really angry."
There was no reply from Geuse.
Subaru sighed, closed the book, and his expression turned serious and earnest.
"Well then, let's talk now. What would count as atonement for you and be beneficial to the world? Hmm—let's start with the Witch's Cult issue. Geuse, besides you, are there others planning to threaten Emilia and those around her?"
"Yes. Aside from the vacant Pride Archbishop, all the major sin archbishops of the Witch's Cult will eventually harm Emilia one day. That much is certain. But in the short term, they probably won't act."
"Is that so? Do you have information on their whereabouts and bases?
Letting dangerous people roam around isn't good for the world, and more importantly, they're a potential threat to us. If you can redeem yourself by wiping out the Witch's Cult, I can also feel relieved. Otherwise, those bastards might suddenly pop up anytime and cause me a lot of trouble."
At this, Subaru and Geuse exchanged a knowing smile — after all, they were now on the same side.
"Alright then, tell me about it. This is the manor of the Roswaal Margrave who supports Emilia's participation in the royal selection. It can also be called a base.
So that means Emilia is inside the manor. Tell me, how do you intend to face Emilia?"
"I don't know..."
"Seriously? You've been thinking all afternoon and still have no idea? Whatever, I understand your situation. If you can't think of anything, just go see Emilia directly.
You'll probably know what to do when the time comes. By the way, you look a lot better now. Back when you were the Archbishop of Sloth, your face could actually scare kids to tears."
"..."
Teasing Geuse a bit, Subaru shook his head slightly, yawned, and resumed reading the book.
Geuse looked at Subaru seriously reading and hesitated before asking,
"Natsuki Subaru, what is your relationship with Emilia?"
"What else could it be? Of course, we're friends."
"Just friends?" Geuse's expression suggested he didn't believe it.
But Subaru didn't even look at Geuse.
To him, reading was far more interesting than looking at a man's face right now.
"What else could it be? Your question is really weird."
"If you're just friends, then why do you do so much for Emilia?"
"I do things for Emilia? How come I don't know I'm doing anything for her?"
"Really not?"
"Geuse, you may not be spouting nonsense like in the morning when you said strange and uncomfortable things I couldn't understand, but what you say now is even more baffling."
Saying this, Subaru calmly flipped through the pages and continued,
"I don't do things for Emilia. What I do is only for myself.
Don't think that my actions look like I'm rushing to help because I know Emilia is in trouble. What I do is to reassure myself, to feel satisfied.
Knowing that people will die and doing nothing would make my conscience restless. Doing these things makes me feel like I'm moving forward. So I feel fulfilled."
"Is that so... then that's really a pity..."
"Hm? Pity? Pity about what?" Subaru turned his head sharply to look at Geuse, who just shook his head lightly and said,
"Nothing."
"You're really a weirdo."
"I don't think you have the right to say that. Compared to me being a weirdo, you're more of a weirdo."
"Huh!?"