Tiffany Haddish Presents: Kids Have Amnesty…SAY…What!?
Karen, Please—Kids Roast the Neighborhood's Most Judgmental Grown-Ups
Inspired by the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
Amnesty Day—No Time-Outs, No Filters, No Mercy
Today, kids are serving up hot takes for every Karen who's ever side-eyed their parents at the grocery store, playground, or PTA meeting. Spoiler: The only thing sharper than their wit is their ability to embarrass you in public.
The "Shouldn't Your Child Be Wearing a Jacket?" Karen
Karen: "Aren't you cold without a jacket, sweetie?"
Kid: "Nope, but you must be freezing with all that ice in your heart."
Or: "I'm good, Karen. My mom's parenting skills are warmer than your personality."
The "That's a Lot of Screen Time" Karen
Karen: "Wow, another tablet? Back in my day, we played outside."
Kid: "Back in your day, dinosaurs roamed the earth. Times change, Karen."
The "Are You Feeding Them Organic?" Karen
Karen: "Is that… non-organic fruit snacks?"
Kid: "Don't worry, Karen, I'll survive. My immune system's tougher than your WiFi password."
The "Your Child Is So Loud" Karen
Karen: "She's got quite the set of lungs!"
Kid: "Thanks, I'm practicing for my future career as a lawyer. Or maybe a Karen repellent."
The "I Would Never Let My Child Do That" Karen
Karen: "I would never let my child eat that much sugar."
Kid: "That's probably why your kid is hiding behind the vending machine right now."
The "Do You Let Them Talk to You Like That?" Karen
Karen: "If my child spoke to me that way, there'd be consequences."
Kid: "If I had to listen to you all day, I'd need consequences too."
The "Public Tantrum Play-by-Play" Karen
Karen: "Someone's having a rough day!"
Kid: "Yeah, and you're not helping. Want to join in? We can scream together."
The "Unsolicited Parenting Advice" Karen
Karen: "You know, if you just tried positive reinforcement…"
Kid: "You know, if you just tried minding your own business…"
The "Judgy Playground Karen"
Karen: "Is your mom always on her phone?"
Kid: "No, sometimes she's ignoring you on purpose."
The "Overly Concerned Grocery Store Karen"
Karen: "Isn't it a little late for a child to be out?"
Kid: "Isn't it a little late for you to be policing the snack aisle?"
The "Why Isn't Your Child Smiling?" Karen
Karen: "Smile, sweetheart! Life's too short to frown."
Kid: "I'll smile when you stop talking."
The "I Raised My Kids Right" Karen
Karen: "I raised my kids with manners."
Kid: "Congrats, Karen. Want a medal or just a bigger sticker for your minivan?"
The Ultimate Verdict
"Hey Karens, here's a tip: If you spent as much time minding your own business as you do minding ours, you'd have time for a hobby. Maybe try knitting—something to keep your hands busy and your opinions to yourself."
Special thanks to Tiffany Haddish for inspiring kids to roast with style. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.