When the afternoon Defense Against the Dark Arts class began, Hermione finally understood what Kai Adler meant that morning.
The class had barely settled when Professor Lockhart, dressed like a strutting peacock in his favorite shade of turquoise, strode to the front with his signature grin plastered across his face.
Hermione, seated near the front, looked completely enamored. Kai glanced at her, then snapped his fingers in front of her face with theatrical dismay.
"Hey. There's someone far more handsome and capable sitting right next to you. Why are you staring at him?"
Hermione wrinkled her nose, replying without missing a beat, "You haven't grown up yet. I'll look at you when you do."
Though he knew she didn't mean it in that way—her voice was still one of a young girl who hadn't truly awakened to such things—Kai still glanced down at himself.
Right. His eleven-year-old body wasn't exactly inspiring romantic attention.
Tsk.
His eyes moved back to Lockhart, who was speaking with smug enthusiasm on the dais. Kai's gaze narrowed, but the smile tugging at the corners of his lips made it clear he was waiting for the real show to begin.
Lockhart, in the meantime, struck a pose, picked up a copy of Travels with Trolls from a student's desk, and turned the cover toward the class—his own image beaming back, winking in sync.
"I," he declared, pointing at the book, "am Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award—"
He paused for effect, waiting for a round of admiring applause.
Only a few students clapped. Hermione included. Most others just blinked at him in silence.
Unfazed, Lockhart carried on cheerfully. "Now, before we begin, I'd like to introduce someone special. A student personally selected by Professor Dumbledore himself. This young man will be assisting me throughout the term!"
He gestured flamboyantly toward Kai. "Let's give a warm welcome to our lucky Gryffindor assistant—Kai Adler!"
Kai, used to polished social etiquette thanks to his strict upbringing in Nurmengard, managed to conceal his reluctance behind a polite smile.
Before term began, Dumbledore had asked him for "a small favor." That small favor turned out to be serving as Lockhart's assistant in Defense class—mostly to mitigate the damage of the man's obvious incompetence.
The truth, as Dumbledore explained, was unsettling.
"Lockhart's a fraud," the old wizard had said bluntly. "Every exploit in his books? Stolen. He uses a Memory Charm to wipe the real heroes' minds."
Kai had frowned. "Then why hire him?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, but his voice was heavy. "Because we've run out of options. The position is cursed. No professor lasts more than a year. Some don't even survive."
"And you still want me involved?"
"You're only the assistant," Dumbledore had said airily. "The curse won't reach you. I just want the students to actually learn something."
"Why me?"
The old man smiled. "Because you can teach them. And frankly, you're already far more qualified than him."
So here he was, enduring a moment of mild social death in front of the entire second-year class—but also seizing a rare opportunity to expose Lockhart in action.
Hermione tugged on his sleeve and whispered, "You're really going up there?"
Kai just smiled and winked. "Don't worry. I won't do anything unnecessary."
He stood, bowing slightly to those around him, and walked gracefully to the front. Compared to Lockhart's greasy theatrics, Kai's poised demeanor and refined movements drew genuine admiration. A few students even clapped without prompting.
"Hello, Professor Lockhart," Kai greeted. "We met yesterday."
"Ah, yes! Of course," Lockhart replied with a stiff grin. He looked Kai up and down, somewhat annoyed that the boy's elegance and confidence were drawing more attention than his own theatrics.
Trying to regain control, he pulled out a stack of pink quiz papers.
"Now then! I've prepared a little quiz to see how much you've absorbed from your summer reading. Nothing difficult, just a bit of fun."
He handed the stack to Kai. "Would you be a dear and pass these around?"
Kai took them with a polite nod, glancing over the questions at the top of the page.
'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?'
'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?'
'What do you consider Lockhart's greatest personal achievement?'
Kai raised an eyebrow. Then looked up, tone dry but impeccably polite. "Excuse me, Professor. I thought this was a Defense Against the Dark Arts class."
Lockhart blinked, caught off guard. "Yes, yes, of course it is! This is just a little something to get us warmed up—get to know your teacher better, you know!"
"Ah," Kai replied, deadpan. "My apologies. I assumed it was an application for your fan club. I must've missed the part where it connects to Dark creatures, countercurses, or defensive spells."
Laughter rippled across the room. Even Hermione covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.
Harry leaned toward Ron. "I think I just figured out where Hermione learned her sarcasm this morning."
Ron snorted. "No kidding."
Lockhart forced a chuckle, trying to maintain his composure. "Yes, well… I find that a good relationship between professor and student is essential…"
Kai turned toward him, still smiling but now with an unmistakable edge in his voice.
"I think what would help students most is useful magical instruction, wouldn't you say, Professor? That's also why Professor Dumbledore asked me to assist you this year."
Something in his tone made Lockhart pause. The boy's gaze was steady—calm, but cold—and Lockhart, to his dismay, felt something like pressure settling on his shoulders.
Did the boy know something?
He masked his unease with another forced smile and rushed toward the covered cage near the desk.
"Quite right, quite right!" he said a bit too quickly. "Let's begin today's practical lesson, shall we?"
Kai stepped back, folding his arms, expression unreadable.
The trap was set.
And Lockhart had just walked straight into it.