CHIARA
A walk back to Carmelo felt like I was walking on fire. It felt so wrong to go back and smile at him like nothing was going on behind his back. And the moment I sat back, I felt the shift in the air. It wasn't soft anymore, it was replaced with something thick and lethal. Something I'd never felt coming from him. His voice was so dangerously slow.
And when I glanced at him, heart racing in my chest, his eyes were so dark. Who the hell was this man? "Who was on the phone, Chiara?" He was so out of his regular love portion. He only calls my name when it's serious. But I was only trying to protect his peace.
"I never asked you who you talked to." I said instead of replying to him. I was indeed shocked, but scared? Nah. "I would've told you if you asked and you can go through my phone whenever you feel like to. I have a strong feeling you are hiding something from me. Tesoro, I could tolerate a lot of things except liars." His words shook my heart. I was in fact a liar. My hands started to shake so I ran them in my hair instead. "I was talking to Xander."
His eyes narrowed, "Xander Callan? The fed?" he asked.
"Yes," If he was angry now he looked worse.
"What relationship do you two have? Are you dating him?" The deep lines that formed on his forehead told me I needed to clear things up before they got out of hand. "Were. We were dating." I said.
"And you are still talking. What does that mean, Chiara?" His jaws clenched. I have dated a couple of men before and they all either ended up dead or lost and never to be found again. But when I met with Xander, I knew Antonio would rethink before messing with him. If you mess with a fed, things go messier for you than you could imagine. Thus he survived him.
"I caught him cheating on me with some man. I ended things with him but then he insisted on remaining friends. And since he was helpful, I use him for my own benefits and he knows it. I don't know if it is guilt or what, but yes that's what is going on between us now." I explained myself, never before. Not even to Antonio.
"I don't like him. I've seen the way he looks at you." He uttered, his face lightening up again. I smoothened the lines on his forehead, "Stop copying me." I said calmly because my heart was now. "I was so scared." He admitted. I wrapped my hands around his neck and hugged him. "Scared for nothing. The only thing that Xander truly values is his work. And cheating is where I draw the line."
I might lie or cheat in life and business to get what I wanted. But cheating on someone I was in a relationship with? No, I don't do that. His hands finally circled my waist, his lips pressing softly on my cleavage. Making me draw a silent breath.
"I hope you know by now what my intentions are with you, tesoro." He said. If I was denying it before, it was pretty clear what he wanted from me now. And I was so scared of it. "I do," I replied. I had relationships before but what he wanted from me was more than just a relationship. He wanted what I had no luxury having. "Thank you for telling me," he said, his hot breath sending shivers all over my body.
A moment later we were sunbathing. If that's what you call it at eleven pm. To be specific, we shared a pool bed. He was on the right and I left, my head resting on his chest, with our legs tangled. His hand untangled my hair while I was holding his other free hand captive, playing with his fingers. They were soft. How could they not be when I'd seen the line products he used in the shower.
All the while, the sun showered us with its heated glory. We should've been inside by now but none of us wanted to part with the moment. No words exchanged, just our bodies doing all the talking for us. What rendered me speechless was how natural it came and felt. It was like we were here before. Which was absurd.
I sighed. "It's exactly how I thought it was." He started all of a sudden. My eyebrows drew together, "What?" His fingers ran further into my scalp and massaged gently, making me groan at the feeling. "Your hair. I always thought about how they would feel in my hands. They feel good." My hair? He thought of my hair? I shouldn't be this flattered but at this point, nothing that came out of this man's mouth hadn't flattered me. I didn't even have a comeback for it.
So I deflected instead. "Can I ask you something?" His chest vibrated with a hum, "Hmm," My eyes wandered across his bare top. "How come you don't have even a single tattoo on you? I thought all the Mafias do." I'd been wanting to ask that when I first saw his clean hands, but after seeing his top today… I was even more surprised at how clean he was without a single dot of ink on it. "First of all tesoro, I'm not a Mafia lord. Junior is. I'm a businessman. And are you sure you want to know?" He asked.
I paused playing with our fingers, "Yes,"
"Honestly, I used to have tattoos but only on my arms. I was not always like this, you know. However, I had a debate with myself when you came into the picture. What if you didn't like the ones I had? So, I went to get them all erased." He explained. "That's stupid," I deadpanned. He bursted out laughing at my look. He was joking with me.
"You should've seen your face, baby." I swat on his chest, he chuckled more and held me closer.
"Tattoos hold a very powerful meaning in my opinion. If I ever had a tattoo, I want something sacred. I'm thinking something special about us. So if you have anything in mind, tesoro, let me know." I shut my eyes and buried my face on his chest, not wanting to let him see the tears that threatened to break free.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his body stiffening.
"You are being so nice to me, Melo. I don't know how to feel about it." He sat both of us up, he then capped my cheeks, making me face him. "I honestly don't know what those men were doing in your life. But I want you to know that you deserve everything that I do and more, it's a bare minimum," he wiped my tears.
"When I first saw you, I knew I had to do better. Because you were better, and you deserved nothing less. I felt the need to change and I did. And I still try to change for you. You mean so much to me, tesoro." He looked away, taking a deep breath.
"You were not here with me but the thought of being with you someday made me get through a lot. I know this may sound off but you were my strength, Chichi. All the time I felt like giving up, I thought of you and got to my feet again. Because I wanted to be perfect for you if ever the time came for us." Tears rolled down my cheeks.
There was a strong thing settling in my heart. Something that made me feel relaxed and uneased at the same time. Watching the pain in his eyes shattered my heart. What do they call this? To mean so much to someone… Why was it so suffocating? Without thinking, I moved forward and pressed my lips on his. He didn't respond so I pulled back and glanced at him. My heart broke to find unshed tears sparkling on his eyes while he just watched me, as if he couldn't believe this was real.