Aiden dreaded the idea of living a life like his previous one — no goal, purpose, or desires other than to survive the day. He hated that routine, and remembered what Nail told him about craving disaster.
Then, he opened his eyes and turned toward the Guild Master. She shook her head in disappointment. Aiden gave her a sigh.
"The things I thought about are plenty annoying," he said. "I wish to erase them."
"Your wish is different than desire. A person could wish for world peace but do nothing, but someone who desires it would do everything."
"Can I just hate anyone who desires world peace? They sound like a douche."
"You have to abandon this persona and be honest," Genevieve called him out. "Stop thinking about others, and think about your own memories — things that feel personal to you."
Aiden was silent, and looked at the ground. This time, he closed his eyes.
The first face he saw was Nail — bloodied, pale, and unblinking.
The second face was Ronnie, who was busy counting the money he sold Aiden for — he carried a smirk filled with triumph.
The third was his mother. She was smoking, grinning at him — teeth yellow, reeking of alcohol, and her lips telling him things a mother should've never said.
Anger bubbled within him.
A hand rested on his shoulder.
Aiden opened his eyes.
"I felt something, but it was not the desire to eliminate," Genevieve said, looking at him with concern. "Void is silent. It is not angry — that would be Rift. It's the single certainty about this world."
"I don't understand what you want from me," Aiden shrugged her hand away. "I'm thinking about things that I hate."
"Maybe I was wrong," she said. "Think about things that you want to cease existing."
Aiden looked at her. His expression was cold.
"I already know what that is," he said with a laugh. Genevieve rose from the ground and gave him a nod. Aiden looked at the ground and closed his eyes.
The desire that he tried hard to suppress.
One born when Aiden was at his darkest moment.
A wish that brought him to this world.
It ignited within his heart like a flame, dancing with joy for being called. Aiden could not control it — it was still too strong for him to deny. This time, he opened his eyes and looked at Genevieve.
"I wish that I didn't exist," he told her. "That's the truth you want to hear — that the thing I hate the most in this world is myself."
She looked at him. Her brows furrowed in pain, sadness, and something he could not recognize. She took several steps forward and fell to her knees.
Aiden stared at her — his eyes radiating with a violet energy that he did not notice. Genevieve reached out and held his hand as a pained smile appeared on her face.
"That desire, no matter how tormenting, is your strength now," she said as she held his hand tight. Aiden stared at her in confusion. "I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, Aiden."
[---]
Genevieve stared at the twin moons while sitting outside their cave. After his successful meditation, Aiden was too exhausted to keep training and went straight to sleep. She could feel his heartbeat echoing in the cave.
"What kind of man is he?" Genevieve muttered. "I wish I could let you meet him, master."
Her master was a seeker specialized in the Void as well. Her master's guidance was the only reason she survived. And now, she was guiding Aiden.
At that time, she learned to separate her anger from her desire to eradicate desire itself.
Every seeker had a desire stronger than the others. Her desire was to eradicate desire itself, no matter how paradoxical that might sound.
"I think you would be amazed too, Master," she told the twin moons. "That another seeker shares the same desire you had – one that defies logic and our primal instincts to survive."
Tears streamed down her face for the first time in years. She closed her eyes, remembering the master that saved her life. Memories flashed as green lights appeared in the surroundings.
"Maybe this is fate," Genevieve muttered. "I don't think it's a coincidence that the first seeker I began training uttered the same words that you did."
Genevieve sat in the darkness for a long time. In the middle of the night, a shadow began rising from the ground. Erebus manifested in front of her, almost invisible in the night.
"My lady," he greeted her. "I have news."
"Good news?"
"Terrible news," he said. "As we have requested, the Seekers Guild sent a Radiant Seeker to fight against the monsters from beyond. I have witnessed their clash today."
"Don't tell me…"
"The Radiant Seeker is dead."
Genevieve stared at Erebus in silence. Her hands began trembling and she tried to stop them, but she could not. She closed her eyes to think, and then snapped them open.
"Ask the guild for an Aetherial Seeker," she commanded.
"I knew that would be your command," Erebus said. "I received their answer today — the Midworld is facing a Monster Rising. All Aetherial seekers are required to remain in the major cities."
Genevieve rose from the ground and started pacing around. She bit her thumbnail as her mind raced for solutions. She stopped in front of the Shadowkin.
"Are they expecting us Glimmers to prevent this calamity?"
"At the moment, it's either that or we evacuate the city," Erebus said with a frown. "The noble families have already heard of the situation and began preparing to leave."
"Damn cowards," Genevieve spat. Then, she thought of something. "What about Oblivion? It's his duty to keep anything beyond the edge as beyond."
"I tried visiting his temple, but they just said that their God was busy and accepted no visitors. The other gods have also refused to interfere because this is Oblivion's territory."
"Are we forsaken now?" she asked. "Oblivion is not here, and the other gods are turning their backs on Argan?"
"Let me summarize our current situation," Erebus said. "We cannot kill this monster. The guild cannot help us. The gods abandoned us."
"Let me summarize it further," she said. "We are fucked."