The Roe that I knew, or faintly remembered, was a man with a posture that only belonged to the kings. Squared shoulders, holding himself with authority he would slowly move around the palace. I remember how he carried himself, moving through the Summer Palace while everyone bowed to him, chin lifted and sure of himself. There was something about him so certain and confident that it made me stop and watch him with reverence. I had to admit, I feared him more than Vogan. Let alone his presence would demand everyone to lower themselves to his feet. Yet, in front of me there was only a shadow of the past of what was left of him now. My spine stayed straight. A stream of adrenaline hit when I closed the distance between us and eased into the chair next to him. He raised a long pipe to his lips. The smoke drifted around him, the smell of myrrh, thick and sweet. I tried not to stare, but after so many years, curiosity took the best of me. He was just a tiny, fragile and hollow eyed silhouette of what was left of him. No muscles, bones sticking out, veins stretching around him like dark threads. Gods, the smell…No amount of smoke was able to cover the smell of rotting flesh. I buried my head away but my eyes stayed locked on him. He was terrifying to look at. Pale skin tugged around his skeleton, and once blue eyes were now deeply covered by the layers and layers of blotchy flesh.
I slowly bowed, lifting my eyes. "Your majesty," He turned, almost sluggishly, as his trembling hands reached for mine.
A faint smile covered his face. "Hello, my child," The voice… Hoarse and so deep. His gaze fell, when I gulped, unsure of what to say next. The other bony hand came on top of mine. "I missed you more than anything in this world."
He was dying. The King of Rasfalia was dying. I could sense it. The pulse travelled from my fingers swiftly through his body. And sensed nothing. He didn't have much left. Each breath was shallow and ragged, brittle fingers trembled like leaves. I suddenly hated myself for ever doubting his love, his loyalty for me, for ever doubting that he didn't come because he didn't care. A single tear went down my face. But I smiled, because he was here. He was finally here.
"I missed you too." I replied and warmth flushed his face. The Lords around us remained silent, only Lord Bayelin was twisting his moustache with his finger. Vogan smiled but only for a split second, while next to him Lord Lochstar just suspiciously glared in my direction.
"I'm terrible…I know," He took a deep exhale. "I didn't write, I didn't come to visit. I left you here all by yourself," Roe gently took my face in between his icy palms as they wrapped around my cheeks. "But you grew up to be a beautiful young woman. The one your parents would be proud of. A woman Rasfalia is proud of." He paused trying to catch a break. My eyes dropped low. I wasn't someone to be proud of. I was an impostor. Not worthy of his kindness, when just a couple of hours ago I murdered a man that was doing his job. When his eyes softened when looking at me it made my heart clench from pain, that I failed him.
"I…your majesty–," I tried to blur it out, unaware of what I would say.
"I missed you too much, but I couldn't miss your birthday. No, not this day. Not the one day you were becoming an adult." His eyes softened again, the fingers slid around mine with a kind of fragility of an apology that he couldn't say out loud. My heart pounded hard against my chest, so close to dropping to my knees and weeping about all the times I hoped he'd come to take me back to the Summer Palace. Each time Vogan would arrive with a royal navy ship, a wide sail stretched across the Thams Bay, I deeply hoped it was Roe who would descend from it. How he would tell me that Erdonal no longer posed any danger to me, that they stopped looking, that I could return and stay with him and lady Mari. I imagined having a family again. Yet, I no longer was the little girl he saved from the shed. The magic was growing in me, the bond that was getting out of control would not let me live a calm, secluded life in Xaleon. And if only I would've stayed here for any longer I was risking a death sentence on my head.
"I heard you're not too fond of Xaleon." He said softly, yet my eyes immediately darted to Lord Lochstar, the Lord of Xaleon.
"You're majesty, with all due respect," I tried to sound as diplomatic as I could. "I believe Xaleon is not a place for me. I trained here for a reason, you sent me here for a reason and I want to repay that…but not in Xaleon." Roe smiled, while Lord Lochstar was drilling his stare into me.
"Many trainees would've been grateful to get a posting in Xaleon, Lyra." Lord Lochstar snapped.
"I'm deeply honoured, but–"
"She's right," Roe interrupted. "She is right, Lord Lochstar. She was never meant to stay inside of Rasfalia and rot here, like me, while there is war happening just outside our door." I smiled forcefully, gripping the edges of the wooden table with my sweaty palms.
The hall again stood dead quiet. All the Lords sat with unease.
Roe glanced at me again, as if not believing that I was now sitting next to him. Long blond hair was reaching the bottom of my spine, azure blue eyes that, although were a common trait of Rasfalians, mine on the other hand, had a dark green hue inside, which as Daniel pointed out would darken and would become emerald green when I was angry.
"I want you to come back, Lyra. To come back to Summer Palace." My head snapped to him. He wanted me back… The sentence echoed through my spine. Even sitting down, my feet splayed trembling, like something inside of me cracked. This was what I always wanted, but…
"I can't, your majesty…" I exhaled. "I can't live away from the suffering and killing of our people, while Erdonal is at fault for taking everything from me. As much as it pains me, your majesty, if I may–," Roe nodded.
"I can't accept it. But if it's your majesty's order, I have nothing else but to submit to it. But I want nothing more than to see King Aslan and Erdonal suffer for their crimes, for what they did to our families." I gulped, it was unbelievable that I had the guts to refuse the King. In this moment, Roe just smiled, and through his smirk he glanced at Vogan who nodded approvingly, and then at Lord Bayeling. Even in the freezing surroundings of the hall, I was dying from heat created by the bond. It surged through me, the hot, boiling blood that now I was trying to concentrate inside. I suspected it had something to do with me getting older, with my powers no longer wanting to remain in the shadows. There were no books, no transcript, not even a painting of witches. All was destroyed after the rebellion. I had no one to teach me, and no one to trust with something that was now feared for over a couple of centuries.
Roe's eyes lingered one me, he noticed my unease."I knew you won't accept the offer, Lyra." He said with a hint of mysteriousness, like there was something else at play. Something only shared between him and the Lords. Something I was completely missing the point of. The long navy cloaks draped over their bodies, they all sat still.
Vogan leaned back and crossed his arms. "I believe you heard of the raid on our South bordering villages," I didn't nod, nor I acknowledged that I knew this. It was a secret, something Daniel heard eavesdropping on his father's meetings. It could have been a trick question. I remained silent.
"We've been losing civilians, many dozen at the time and it has doubled since last year. Benghar Governorate and even the Tri-Kingdom border were under the attacks."
"Do we know what's causing it? Is it Erdonal?" Vogan gave a short nod to Roe.
"That's the real mystery, isn't it? There have been alleged sightings of… " Vogan stood up, pushing his chair and coming closer to the extended map. He paused, before licking his lips. "Of witches."
My teeth snapped together so hard… I bit down, keeping my face neutral. These rumours were nothing new, but now anxiety of it being fully acknowledged by the Lord Commander and the King, meant that the threat was more serious that we thought. It meant that being a witch went from being dangerous to deadly.
"Witches? In Rasfalia? But they were all exiled to Uninhabited lands, or burned. It's impossible…" I shook my head, knowing very well that in between of them sat a witch. Unskilled, but still a witch.
"I'm afraid it's more than real Lyra. And it's becoming dangerous, rumours spread…people panic. In a blink of an eye, we'll dive in chaos, if we don't stop it. Matters of magic are…fragile." Vogan seethed. Roe's eyes just glared at me smoking his pipe, analysing even my smallest muscle twitches.
"Could it be Erdonal? Moving them from the Uninhabited Lands? But…why would they? They would risk witches attacking them back, they can't be trusted." I answered well. Almost eight years in the military camp taught me well enough, than to express my opinion in front of the Commandership. The books we read and were taught from had two evils – Erdonal and witches. And although I agreed with the first, the second raised in me mixed feelings. My mother was proud of who she was, she encouraged me to use my magic, but my mother lived in the most remote village in Rasfalia, while I was raised in the most strict military camp of the Kingdom.
"In full honesty Lyra, we don't know," Roe interrupted. "We suspect that Erdonal is conspiring with the witches to finally win the war, to destroy Rasfalia and its allies once and for all. But we have no inside information." It seemed confusing. Why now? Why would Erdonal conspire with the witches, together with the Husemid Kingdom they had the biggest number of seers. Each Kingdom had their own in-court seers, which were witches with barely a bond, or sometimes even without a single pulse. But they served their kings and queens, using esoteric arts. Some prophecies here and there, some herbal healing and maybe a faint spell for your loved one. So why would Erdonal support be weakened from within?
Vogan pressed his finger on the map drawing the line of the borders. "What we know for sure, is that they emerged from Uninhabited Lands and Talka, moving in darkness over the years and coming closer to our borders." His gaze fell from the map to me. "We suspect Erdonal is supplying them with people for sacrifices, food, water and protection. What we know for sure, is that they're somehow involved, and if it comes down to this…they might as well win the war."
War no longer was something to study, it was happening right now. Roe coughed with such force, that for a second I thought his lungs would jump out of his chest.
"We haven't… had a spy in …their midst since a long time…" Roe hyperventilated and coughed again.
"Not since a decade. Erdonal eradicated them all, killed, hanged them, no Rasfalian spy even got past the Great Gates…" Vogan's eyes gleamed. " But this has changed since Lord Fairton was killed for treason."
"Lord Fairton?" I asked, the name didn't ring a bell.
"An Erdonal merchant. Great man he was…" Vogan looked down at his boots.
"So what exactly changed?" I scanned the room for more answers.
"Well, you see Lyra…Lord Fairton was a smart businessman, he was supplying us with the materials mainly controlled by Erdonal, like metals, iron and of course luminite," I looked up subconsciously at the chandelier filled with precious stones. "He greatly supported our cause and fought against Erdonal, but last month, the second his ship Levian docked Eser…it was seized without trial, and Lord Fairton hanged for treason on the main square of the Grey Palace."
"And how does this change our situation?" I glared at Roe and the Vogan searching for answers.
"Fairton's were not the last people in Erdonal, and the public humiliation and confiscation of all riches was an embarrassment for the whole family, especially for the widow Lady Fairton. However, God Nazar has smiled upon us, because now we share the same goal." Vogan leaned in, gazed pinned on me. "She wants to destroy Erdonal, make it pay for her losing everything, and you, Lyra, will have an opportunity of a lifetime," His shoulders were almost touching mine. "You'll get to see a place that has been for decades unavailable for any Rasfalian," His stare was so intense that I forgot how to breathe when… "Lyra, you'll infiltrate the Grey Palace in Eser. You'll travel to Erdonal." My eyes widened when I heard the words coming out of his mouth. Erdonal…I've waited my whole life for this chance, so why my chest heavied from fear.
"Me?...Your majesty, but–"
"Lyra, we need you…" Vogan said beggingly. "The war has lasted for longer than expected, it was started by the people that are not even alive anymore. We need to know what is the final blow that Erdonal is planning, we need to know before…" Vogan nervously glanced at Lord Bayelin.
Lord Baeyelin walked closer to the map, hands interlaced together behind his back. He slowly took a wooden pointer. Talka. "Before Erdonal takes Talka." My stomach dropped.
"Talka…" I whispered. "Why Talka? Doesn't it seem irrational?" My eyes studied the map. The peaks of Hollow Mountain separating Erdonal and Rasfalia, the Glacial river flowing into Husemid and the deserted lands that have been covered with only tales and legends, as nobody in over a century has made it out alive. Then my gaze darted toward Eser, the Grey Palace. I promised my father I won't step foot to Erdonal, but I knew that the second his head dropped on the doorstep of our house that I won't be able to keep that promise. All the books agreed on one thing, that Erdonal and the Grey Palace were gloomy and draped in shadows. Mysterious deaths, secret passageways, ghosts, thieves and the never ending tunnels, those were just a few stories I heard of the palace of King Aslan. Similarly to Rasfalia, Erdonal had unforgiving winters, hidden in the thick woodland as their vast territory covered the North like a dark green duvet. As nighttime stories we used to tell each other, were stories of how air would switch to heavy suffocating moisture, until you would hear walls whispering ancient scripts in the language of witches. How haunting the streets of Eser were and how the greyness and darkness of the climate gave the palace its name – The Grey. It was the last place on the Continent you would want to find yourself.
Roe coughed again, awakening me from drifting into the abyss of my imagination.
"They will take Talka, my child and there won't be anything we can do about it, unless you infiltrate the Grey Palace, unless you, my child, save us…" Roe's thinning copper hair slinged back, fell on his face. It was difficult to believe what he was saying. Talka was our ally since the beginning of the war, a place full of enormous libraries holding all the books of the Continent, a place of erudites and scholars. It was one of the few places we visited together with Daniel. The empty streets and the warmth of the midnight lanterns, orange, pink and gold sunsets that would remain on the sky sometimes for months at the time. The waterfalls had a basins full of fish and the wildlife that was only found in Talka. No, we couldn't lose Talka.
Lord Bayelin clenched his fist holding the pointer and glanced at Vogan. "What do we know about their plan? Why Talka? Why not the Black Sea, or even try to enter Isildra Kingdom since then they would have access to Point West…" I voiced my concern. "And wasn't their queen from Talka–?"
"Was," Vogan replied fast. Roe again inhaled the pipe, as the large cloud of smoke came out. "Isildran reports have confirmed that she has not been seen in Grey Palace since winter," Vogan paused. We all knew what it meant. Erdonal was an unforgiving place, even for a queen. "So most likely she has been silenced." I could only assume what it meant.
Roe with barely audible low voice breathed. "That's why we need you, my child. Infiltrate Grey Palace, become part of the court there. Help us understand what they are planning, and why Talka? And how are they moving witches from the Uninhabited Lands," My world stopped. Roe touched the top of my hand and squeezed it gently as his eyes pierced locking onto me.
"Become one of them, think like them, dress like them. I know you can do it Lyra. I knew it from the day I found you in that shed," His words got caught in my throat. I wasn't fit for the mission. How could they put the fate of Rasfalia into the hands of someone who barely passed all the tests, with the only excellent subjects being map reading and navigation. It was a mistake. "Many would dream about going to Erdonal, but I want to give this mission to you. Because you're the one worthy of it," Roe stared right at me, while others quietly waited in silence.
Vogan's firm voice shot out. "Our people are dying Lyra, this is our last chance. I know how much you wanted to avenge your parents death, not only that but this is your chance of saving millions of Rasfalian lives. We're fighting for good, for the truth, for the right side of history to win."
The room fell still. All the Lords studied me, stared without ever blinking. Roe again leaned in closer, raw skin tugging around his bones like a coat hanger.
"How would I get into the Grey Palace–" I asked.
Vogan jumped in without letting me finish. "–Lady Fairton." His grin curled up. "You'll pose as her niece. She's expected at the Grey Palace court in two days' time." Vogan's commanding voice slices through the hall.
"But that means…to get to Grey Palace in two days…I need to leave…now…" I gulped. The day I hoped to come for all these years, the day I prayed to Xelin for me to have…came. And I was shaking in fear.
Vogan advanced towards me with slow, deliberate steps. His skin was covered with many scars from the battles, deep cuts and raw wounds on his arm, that even the dim light could not hide well. The way Vogan moved was now so different from Roe. At any given point you could expect anything from him, either he could give you a kiss on the forehead or stab you with his sword. A heavy leather glove lingered on my shoulder, as he towered over me.
"But I want you to remember Lyra really well that you're Rasfalian and that there's nothing more important than that. Your parents served Rasfalia bravely, and I expect nothing less of you. You have a duty to your Kingdom, my child," Vogan leaned in closer, as his lips almost touched the tip of my ears. "Write everything you hear, every little detail you see in court, every conversation you have. Lady Fairton will pass all of it to us."
I turned my head to face him. "If you have Lady Fairton, why would you need me? If she's welcomed at court, wouldn't she be able to gather information better than me?" I asked.
"Lady Fairton is too visible, and not particularly liked in the court. And…" Vogan smirked. "The prince definitely won't enjoy her company as much as yours." When I glanced at him, he was already piercing his eyes right through me with a stone face.
I had no choice. I let out a shaky breath.
"It would be an honour to serve, your majesty." I bowed my head to Roe and then to Vogan. I could feel my head spinning. Roe, to my disappointment, just smiled gently, and lowered himself in the chair.
"I want to give you something." Vogan took out from the inside pocket of his coat a linen cloth covering something relatively small. "So if you meet any trouble, you have just the right blade." I took a heavy but small dagger covered with copper insignia of Rasfalia – a lion's head. The edge of the blade glistenned. It so beautifully reflected the crystals from above hanging luminite, when I saw my own reflection in the smooth metal.
Finally, my blade had a purpose.
****
The heavy wooden door swung open. The same two soldiers flanked either side, still posted and motionless. I summoned the little courage I had left, swallowed down the lump in my throat and with my spine bent low – I bowed, before the door slammed shut in my face. Roe's face didn't rise to meet mine, he just exhaled another cloud of smoke. Vogan nodded with mechanical precision, almost perfectly, while Lord Bayelin offered no glance back. The cold wind of the Thams Bay autumn brushed my skin, lifting my hair and swirling it to the direction of the wind.
When my feet stepped out of the Hall, life seemed as it was, it had only turned upside down for me. All trainees were focused on either training, or getting ready to enter the Hall, nobody paid attention when I slipped through the crowd unnoticed, hearth thundering and pale-faced. Just when I was about to turn the sharp corner, someone yanked me from behind into a tight hug. I felt the touch of familiar hands.
"I'm so scared." I whispered, while Daniel's arms wrapped around my back, his face tucked onto my shoulder.
"You'll be fine Lyra. Once you finish the mission you'll come back. I know it." I shifted in his arms until I was now faced with his soft gaze. "You'll be alright Lyra." Daniel took my face in between his palms.
"Do you really believe that?" I shook my head. "Because…there's…" I wanted to tell him about my powers, and how such an important mission was given to someone who had no control over their powers. But I stopped mid-sentence. "I'm so afraid. No one has stepped into Erdonal for decades, and–"
"You'll come back Lyra. I know it, and once you come back everything will be different." His words sounded so reassuring, but my heaving chest was saying something else. Daniel leaned in closer when his lips pressed to mine, drawing out every breath. The kiss sent shivers down my spine. At first it was hesitant but then it demanded more, pulling me under, fully and relentlessly. I gave in fully, unsure if it was because I really loved him or I was petrified to die.