The orb began to hum.
Then it shivered.
Then it burped out a sentence.
> "Your narrative arc is flimsy, your emotional stakes are hollow, and Kevin should've been cut in Chapter 12."
> "Did... did that thing just roast us?" I asked.
> "I believe so," Arc muttered, eye twitching.
The orb floated up, spinning slowly. Text scrolled across its surface:
**'Greetings. I am Plotbert. Your narrative inconsistency correctional companion.'**
> "I'm sorry—Plot... *bert?*" Lyria asked.
> "Plotbert," the orb confirmed with robotic pride.
> "You've triggered too many unfulfilled arcs. I now require a side quest to stabilize the story."
> "What kind of side quest?" I asked cautiously.
The sky flickered.
Reality coughed.
> "You must retrieve three sentient baguettes from the Forest of Overwritten Subplots and present them to Hector, the musical armadillo."
Grubnuk gasped.
> "Hector? He owes me five muffins!"
Plotbert hovered over to Mortax.
> "Also, your ancient dragon code is outdated by seven narrative eras."
> "Excuse me?" Mortax snarled, attempting to blast it with golden fire.
Plotbert reflected the flame into a floating red rejection slip.
> "You've been hexed with minor writer's block. Duration: 24 minutes."
Mortax coughed glitter.
Meanwhile, Plotbert had begun floating behind me like a condescending halo.
> "Incorrect metaphor usage: 'like a fish out of soup'? Really?"
> "It's a *creative* expression!" I snapped.
> "It's a hot mess."
Arc had enough.
He stepped forward, pulled out a scroll of narrative law, and began arguing.
Plotbert replied.
Then they were dancing.
Like… full-on rhythm battle.
Clucksworth pulled out a mic and began narrating in slam-poetry.
> "Two minds clash beneath glittering skies, as canon and chaos intertwine. The blade of plot twists. The shield of exposition. WHO WILL WIN THIS NARRATIVE COLLISION?"
They twirled.
They posed.
They both dabbed.
It was... majestic.
Suddenly, the sky glitched.
Sheets of paper rained down.
Each one filled with first-draft notes:
> "More emotional stakes."
> "Needs dragon backstory."
> "Cut Kevin???"
Kevin screamed and hid behind Grubnuk.
> "Why do I feel targeted?!"
Grubnuk handed him a baguette. "We're all targeted, buddy."
Plotbert floated down.
> "Side quest accepted. Narrative will remain intact. For now."
> "So we're good?" I asked.
> "Temporarily," Plotbert hummed. "But beware. The Author watches. The Editor sharpens. And now\... the Critic has noticed."
Arc stopped dancing.
> "Wait. The Critic?"
Plotbert spun ominously.
> "Chapter 44: Reviews Come Home to Roost."
---
*End of Chapter 43 (Plotbert revealed. Narratives shaken. Bread sentience imminent.)*
—-