After a long silence, Chips cautiously broke it with a question:
"Excuse me… is this a logic puzzle or a real-world scenario?"
Shirou replied, "…Real-world. Uh, the situation is—this young lady's appearance is very… unique, which makes it hard for her to appear in public. But she wants me to take her shopping, and as her steward, I can't exactly refuse her."
"What! Wait—how could you just up and become someone else's butler!?" Charlotte, whose mood had clearly been unstable, suddenly jumped into the chat again. "Last time I offered you a job, you refused, and now you say you're serving some rich young lady?! Are you messing with me?! Ugh! You traitor!"
"Whoa, what is this—some kind of live cuck drama?" Chips chimed in, fully leaning into gossip mode. "Can someone fill me in on the backstory? I'm new here."
"I'm just here for pure romance," the Gallia Governor sighed, sounding conflicted.
Shirou was confused. Why were they suddenly shipping him with people?!
He tried to defuse the situation, "Charlotte-sama, I truly meant no offense. At the time, I had no intention of serving any noble household. But the current young lady I serve… she was introduced to me by an old friend."
As Shirou explained, Charlotte suddenly went offline.
Wait, seriously? Charlotte? Where'd you go?
Gallia Governor commented dryly, "Best guess—she was secretly online during study time and her grandfather caught her again."
Everyone sighed in unison. Poor girl…
On the bright side, without her, the conversation finally got back on track.
Chips chimed in again, "Personally, I don't think you need to approach this shopping mission using conventional logic. What if you brought the shopping to her? Like, recreate the entire shopping experience at home so she can enjoy it without stepping outside!"
It was an offbeat idea, but hey—like the Prophet Muhammad once said:
"If the mountain won't come to me, I'll go to the mountain."
And now: "If I can't shop on the street, then let the street come to me!"
"…Isn't that just a shut-in girl's fantasy?" Shirou muttered. Like Wa-zhu needs to be any more of a shut-in.
"!" Chips quickly reacted with a single exclamation mark—uh oh, she might've just outed herself as a fellow indoor-enthusiast.
"No need for all that hassle," Gallia Governor began, clearly back in his element. "Let's plan the whole route. Buy out the shops and buildings she'll visit, clear out civilians, and replace all staff with our own people."
He spoke with absolute confidence, even suggesting, "Start with places that have class—temples, shrines, cathedrals, art galleries…"
"Hold it," Shirou interrupted. "She literally lives in the biggest landmark in the city. It's a nationally protected tourist site. I think she's done with those kinds of places."
Too cultured. It's time to mix it up.
"No problem!" Gallia Governor smoothly shifted gears. "Go with the Rebellious Heiress Taste of Freedom experience instead."
"Take her to a lively shopping district or a theme park. And as for your final destination? It has to be atmospheric. Picture this: a candle-lit dinner in a fine restaurant, whispers shared over dessert… or better yet, a secluded hot spring spa, where the couple shares a steamy, romantic massage in an aromatic haze—"
Shirou's jaw slowly dropped. "Why does this sound like a date now?!"
"Master Sweet Potato! You're a dating genius!" Chips threw in a thumbs-up emoji. "If that doesn't win over your shut-in ojou-sama, I'll eat this entire bag of chips right now!"
Scamming snacks, huh?
"Okay, guys, I think you're misunderstanding something—" Shirou tried.
"No, no," Gallia Governor countered, "is it possible… that you're the one who hasn't realized something? She insisted that you alone take her. Do you really think she feels nothing toward you?"
"…Huh?" Shirou froze.
Suddenly, a private message popped up from Chips:
"Hey, ignore the Gallia playboy. We've actually got a professional team. Want the full experience? We offer all-inclusive dating event services—sports cars, cleared-out venues, crowd atmosphere crews, makeup and styling, even wedding planning—"
Shirou: "Absolutely not that last one!!"
So, a few days later…
Shirou arrived at their destination with Wa-zhu riding in a deep black Koenigsegg CCR arranged by the professional team. As they got out, he immediately saw a massive bright red banner stretched across an outdoor venue.
A table covered in red velvet sat before an altar, incense smoke curling into the air. Behind it, in huge bold letters:
"Legend of the White Snake – Film Crew Kickoff Ceremony!"
A promo poster for the film was placed nearby: a famous actress cast as Lady White Snake, with a long white snake drawn next to her to signal her supernatural identity.
As Shirou passed by with Wa-zhu on his back, no one screamed or ran. Her long snake tail wasn't even wrapped around him this time, trailing gently behind. People simply assumed they were cosplay actors promoting the film.
…Huh. That actually worked?
Shirou silently admitted—the "pro team" Chips mentioned might actually know their stuff.
But that wasn't all.
After walking a few more steps, they passed a popular bookshop. The owner proudly displayed the newest issues of magazines like Fiction Sketch and Comics Weekly at the entrance. One magazine cover featured a handsome young swordsman locked in a soulful gaze with a girl in a white dress—whose lower half was a serpentine tail.
Across the top in bold:
"White Snake Legend Reimagined! Forbidden Love Between a Noble Boy and a Half-Snake Heiress!"
Shirou instantly felt the hairs on his neck stand up.
This is way too on the nose.
He half-expected their names and photos to be printed on the next page.
Wa-zhu, however, was absolutely delighted. She laughed so hard she nearly doubled over, patting his head and insisting he buy a copy.
So he did.
They opened the magazine and began reading. The story went something like this:
A gifted young swordsman dedicated to slaying evil spirits accidentally wandered into a demonic lair, only to be saved by a half-snake noble girl. Out of gratitude, he swore to serve her—but soon discovered she had long been ostracized and imprisoned by her own people for her bloodline.
After rescuing her from cruel elders, the two escaped together and slowly fell in love, pursued by both humans and monsters alike.
Then they stumbled into a hidden ancient land, where a shrine stood honoring a half-snake deity. Turns out, the girl's bloodline was that of a forgotten god, and the elders who'd imprisoned her had only wanted her divine lineage for themselves.
With her divinity revealed, the local faith hailed her as a goddess just as an army from her homeland arrived to reclaim her.
And so began a war sparked by the love of a boy and a snake-girl.
Shirou turned to the final page, only to find—
"To be continued."
You've got to be kidding.
WHO ENDS A STORY RIGHT THERE?!
(End of Chapter)
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