Nox's POV:
I just finished showing off the wonders of walking to the senile old man, as I was returning to the prison I had been locked in when I first got here. After weeks of hanging around that dumbass to protect him from the assassins a certain someone was sending my way, it will be nice to finally have some time for myself.
"Did you miss me my dear?"
*slam*
I think my eyes and ears are playing tricks on me after all the sleepless nights of babysitting that dumbass. I could have sworn I saw a half-naked playboy covered in rose petals lying in my bed. I'm sure now that I've rubbed out the creepy from my eyes and open the door …
"Nope! Still there!"
"Hehe! Of course I wouldn't leave you! What made you think I ever would?"
"How the hell did you even …! WIFE-BEATER, THAT ASSHOLE!" I said as I recalled how the guy who doesn't understand how names work, threw me at the old man because he was jealous his kid liked me more than him.
"Hehe! As always, you have the strangest naming sense! Though, I hope you don't mind if I choose the name for our children!" The creeper whispered, as he exploded his delusions in my ear after teleporting behind me.
"Get lost ass wipe! I'm already tired from dealing with one dumbass! I'm in no mood for your crap today!" I said, as I just got a great idea.
"You seem stressed! Why don't I give you a nice massaAAAAAAHHHHH!"
"Why didn't I think of this earlier?" I wondered as I swung the pain-stick one more time.
*Bonk*
"AAAAAAAHHHHH! NOX! WAIT! NOO!"
*BONK*
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! SQUEAL PIGGY! SQUEAL!"
*BONK*
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! NOX, PLEASE OR I'M GOING TO-!
*BONK*
*MOAN*
"HAHAHA! Huh? Hey, did you just piss your pants?" I asked as I noticed something soaking his crotch.
"HEY! STOP PISSIN ON MY FLOOR! WAIT?! WHY IS IT WHITE? Oh! Gross!" I just now realized why this playboy won't stop bothering me.
He is, by far, the world's biggest masochist. He is pissin out cum on my floor from being hit with pure undiluted pain. And that is not an exaggeration. The pain-stick is made from a material called 'Hell Frost'. Hell Frost, like most hell elements, is a manifestation of pain and suffering given physical form. Hell Frost in particular happens to have a unique trait that stabilizes the soul and mind while dishing out pain on par with its other variants, making it the perfect tool for causing as much pain and suffering as possible without killing the victim. And the playboy just orgasmed after taking a bunch of it to the face. I only realize now that it is too late, but this thing could also be considered the ultimate S&M sex toy.
"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DEFILE THE PAIN STICK YOU SICKO?!" I said as I threw away my up until now, favorite disciplinary tool in disgust.
*Moan*
"Hey, I don't think there is supposed to be that much coming out?" I said as I watched the stream of goo flowing out of his pants.
*Moan*
"Eww! I stepped in it! Hey, you've already pissed out more than your own weight in this stuff! Give it a rest already!" I said, as I watched the ever-growing pool of white goo covering my floor from atop the bed I had taken shelter on.
"Hey, get your gross butt away from me! Eww! Get off my bed! STOP! HEY! YOU'RE GETTING IT IN MY HAIR YOU PERV!"
*MOAN*
I wonder if his nuts have some sort of dimensional storage, as the amount of goo coming out of his wiener is clearly too much to be stored in his body. I mean, by the time he was done drenching my clothes, bed, floor walls and even some parts of the ceiling in his stuff as a result of my struggles to get away, I was literally up to my knees in the stuff on the floor.
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU TURN MY ROOM INTO THE SMELLIEST SWIMMING POOL ON EARTH?!" I screamed, trying to wake the snoozing guy on my back.
After shooting his goo like it was nobody's business, the guy grabbed me and used me as a plushy as he nodded off on top of me in the soaking wet bed. Even the rose petals had been stained white.
"Hm? *sniff**sniff* What is that smell?" The guy asked as he finally woke up.
"OH, I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE, IT'S THE GALLONS OF SHIT YOU PISSED OUT ALL OVER ME YOU SICK PERV!"
"Hm? Noxy, was this floor always white?"
"THAT'S NOT A FLOOR YOU GOOY BASTARD! THAT'S THE STUFF YOU'VE BEEN PISSIN OUT FOUR THE LAST SIX HOURS! NOW! LET! ME! GO!" I screamed, as I was tempted to cut off his balls right here, but on second thought, he would probably just get off on that, and I still haven't confirmed if his sperm is still stored in his balls or if the dimensional storage is somewhere else in his body.
"Hehe! I guess my love for you was just that strong! I wonder, how long does it take for a child to be born again?" He said as he looked at my stomach.
"Eww! None of this went in my body you gross cow! Ugh! I haven't been covered in this much goop since I accidently fell into that succubus sex-pit! I need a shower! YOU STAY HERE AND CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!" I screamed as I climbed out the window.
"Huh? Did I even get to third base? All this came out and I'm not even sure of that! What will it be like when we finally get to the fourth?" I heard the playboy mutter as I began pouring my own extra flammable liquid over the roof.
"YOU LITTLE BITCH! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING ON THE ROOF?!" The monocled rat-man shouted, as he was about to rat out my plan to the playboy below.
The shower thing was just a bluff. With my core pretty much healed, I could get all this gross stuff off of me with a snap of my fingers. Same thing for the room he flooded. But I needed an excuse to keep him from leaving the building as I burned it down with him inside it.
"Tsk! Good enough!" I said as I threw out a barrel of dynamite into the gasoline before lighting the spark and jumping down.
"HEY! I'M NOT DONE TA-!"
*BOOM*
*Splatt*
The moment I jumped away, the place exploded, and the white stuff went everywhere.
"*Ptooey* What is this! Paint? Ugh! IT REEKS!" I heard the rat-man say.
"Should have brought an umbrella!" I said as I marry Poppins'ed my way down with the goo proof umbrella barrier.
"Welp! That takes care of that!" I said as I clapped my hands, before turning to leave.
"Noxy! You're so mean!" I heard over my shoulder.
I mean, I knew it wasn't going to kill him, but can't a girl hope!
The playboy was standing directly behind me like a monster from a scary story. I know the moment I look around, he is not going to be standing there anymore, and the moment I look back, he is going to be right in front of me. I've done this trick countless times to douchebags who didn't pay their tab in the past. Though, this is probably the first time it's happened to me. Maybe if I stay completely still, he won't see me? His vision is based off movement, right? His pupil is just like a t-rex's. Wait, so is mine right now and I can see completely fine.
"Damn it!" I said, as I pulled out my gun to shoot him in the face, and as expected, he was no longer there.
*BOOM*
*SIZZLE*
"Ouch! That hurt!" The playboy said as I had given him alight burn on the forehead with my supercharged laser shot.
Instead of shooting the way I was facing, I had opted to have my gun shot behind me as I turned to look at the playboy. That way, I could shoot him after he teleported behind me. I even tried out my new experimental supercharged laser shot that has more than double the power of a regular shot in exchange for longer recoil due to the barrel overheating. I basically just shot the equivalent of a 7th-tier spell in his face and all the dude got was a slight tan on his forehead.
"The fuck is your body made of?!"
"YOU LITTLE WHORE!" I suddenly heard the rat-man scream.
"Not now rat-man! I'm busy!"
"WE TOOK YOU IN, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US! DO YOU INTEND TO DRAG OUR CLAN'S NAME THROUGH THE MUD?"
"I never joined your stupid claan! So, go wash that bukkake off your face or something!"
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS A BUKKAKE? UGH! SERIOUSLY WHAT EVEN IS THIS STUFF YOU SPLASHED ON ME?! IT REEKS TO HIGH HEAVEN!"
"Trust me! I don't think you want to know the answer to that question!"
"BROTHER! WHAT HAPPENED? I HEARD AN EXPLOSION! IS IT AN ATTACK?" The muscle-maniac shouted as she came sprinting towards us.
"YES! THIS GUY IS THE INTRUDER! LET'S KILL HIM!" I shouted, wanting some help kicking out this masochist.
Who knows, maybe if I play my cards right, the playboy might get attracted to the strong arms of this muscle-maniac after a quick choking session.
"Noxy? Are these your new friends? I don't much care for the rat-man as you called him! Can I kill him?"
"See he is an enemy!"
"STOP TRYING TO COVER UP YOUR DEPRAVITY!"
"What is the meaning of this? Why is my granddaughter's house on fire?!"
"Granddaughter?"
"I didn't know that rat-face had a kid? Well, if she was in there when I lit the fuse, then she's probably dead! Yeah, sorry bout that!"
"FATHER! THIS LITTLE SLUT HAS COMMITED ADULTORY WITH THIS BEGGAR!"
"Adultery?" I said, in confusion as I'm still a single lady who has yet to lose her V-card.
"Beggar?" The playboy said, obviously pissed at being called poor as I saw his playboy fire leaking out.
"Hey, I'm still a single and pure maiden, unlike that guy covered in a beggar's semen over there!" I said as I pointed at rat-face.
"I'm not a beggar! I'm the Dark-!"
"IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?! *PTOOEY* GROSS! I GOT SOME IN MY MOUTH EARLIER! GET THIS STUFF OFF OF ME!"
"So, that's why you haven't been makin any more kids after Feng!" Muscle-maniac said.
"WHAT!? NO! THIS CAME OUT OF HER ROOM!"
"Yeah! We heard you loud and clear rat-man! You saw this sexy beggar and couldn't help but drag him into my room for some kinky fun times!"
"WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!"
"SON! All this time and I never knew! It is fine! A long time ago, I might have been unable to tolerate this, but I have learned to accept people for who they are! I won't pester you for anymore grandchildren going forwards!" The old man said, showing a touching display of acceptance as he patted the rat-man on the shoulder.
"FATHER! STOP! YOU HAVE GOT THE WRONG IDEA!"
"You are the man my son has fallen for, correct? What is your name, young man?" The old man said as he went to greet the playboy, who seemed about ready to burst
"Yeah! I'm gonna need you to take a step back! You're in his splash zone!" I said as I put on a hardhat and pushed the old man away from the detonating playboy.
*BOOOM*
"Hehe! HAHAHAHAHAHA! ASTOUNDING! YOU'RE TALENT'S AT INFURIATING THIS GREAT LORD WOULD BE PRAISEWORTHY IF NOT FOR HOW UTTERLY FOOLISH IT IS TO PROVOKE A MAN SUCH AS I!" The playboy shouted as aura and qi went flying everywhere.
"WOW! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS PRESSUR! I CAN BARELY MOVE! AND THE KILLING INTEANT IS UNREAL!" The old man said, as he and I were the only ones who could remain on our feet in the face of the playboy's tantrum.
"Time to die!"
"Like hell! You ain't killin my new lapdogs you prick!" I said, as I threw out the flames of control to cancel out his destructive aura, while using my spirit magic to try and redirect the sparks of qi, which has enough power to match a small meteor, that were flickering off his body, over to the wreckage that was my house.
"Noxy, I might allow you to bad mouth me because you are my woman, but that does not mean I will permit others the same privilege! Now, step aside so I may dispose of these blind fools who can't distinguish the difference between a great lord and a filthy beggar!"
"My house, my rules, bitch! Now get lost before I whoop your ace for the umpteenth time!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! Fine! Let's have another play date! I've been needing to let off some steam for a while now!"
"Old man! Go evacuate the place! Now!"
"What!"
*BOOM*
Just then, the playboy launched an aura-infused fireball at us. I used my own aura to scatter the flames to hit our surroundings instead, but the moment the fireball exploded, any aura flames not canceled out by my aura ended up scattering all across the estate, tearing the place apart.
"You like my gift! It's a new move I came up with after our very first play date!"
"This guy might destroy the entire mountain range if things get out of hand! I don't have the leeway to babysit you and kick his ass at the same time! SO GO!"
"WHAT KIND OF GRANDFATHER WOULD I BE IF I LEFT MY GRANDDAUGHTER TO FEND FOR HERSELF?! I AM STAYING RIGHT HERE WITH YOU! COME HELL OR HIGH WATERS!"
"There is that word again! Noxy, this dragonewt keeps calling you his grandchild! Why is that?"
"He's just senile!"
"I'M YOUR GRANDFATHER YOU THICK HEADED CHILD! DOES MY RESOLVE TO FIGHT ALONG SIDE YOU TO THE END MEAN NOTHING?!"
"Yeah, pretty much! You'd just be a meat shield at best, and an inconvenience at worst!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! Are you my Noxy's paternal family perhaps?"
"Tsk! Lucky guess!" I muttered under my breath.
"It seems I have been terribly rude! Forgive my outburst future in-laws!" The playboy said, having picked up on my mutterings.
"In-laws?"
"I think he's still intending to plow rat-man over there!" I whispered to the others.
"Hehe! As entertaining as your slander can be, this is not the time for jokes my fiancée!" The playboy said, as he turned into light particles to close the distance and grab me by the waist.
"Fiancée?" The trio of synchronized dragonewts muttered in surprise.
"Now whose slandering who here! I'm still living the single life! So, get lost creepster!" I said, as I tried to poke him in the eyes, but he grabbed my fingers, so I used my other hand to poke him up the nose, causing him to sneeze, giving me the opening I needed to escape as he flinched.
*Sneeze*
Unfortunately, it seems even the sneeze of this playboy packed a punch as the wind it kicked up ended up blowing down what remained of my house.
"I told you she was committing adultery!" Rat-man said after, getting up from the sneezing storm that nearly sent him flying.
"I'm still single rat-face! Plus, you're the only one who got any of his stuff in your body! So, if anyone's committed adultery it is you!" I said, with a cleaner conscience than the rat-man's
"No, you are not you ungrateful little wench! Me and my wife has already arranged for your marriage to someone of higher standing then this beggar!"
"I'm pretty sure you need my permission for that to be legit rat-man!"
"Hmph! Who needs your permission! As your uncle and the next head of the clan, I have the right to decide what's best for you!"
"Ping!"
"What we need now is wealth and connections! Even if this beggar is powerful, he lacks status and wealth to be of any use to our clan!"
"Ping!"
"Now send him away, before he destroys any more of our estate!"
"PING! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The old man and muscle-maniac screamed in unison.
"Pft! HAHAHAHAHA! Noxy, this rat-man tells some rather funny jokes!"
"I know! I'm pretty sure it's why they've kept him around for so long!"
To think this rat-man doesn't understand the concept of might makes right. Even if the playboy wasn't the absurdly rich king of this hill called the 2nd martial continent, with his power, he could just waltz into any city, make a little display of strength and they would treat him like a king regardless of his status. I mean, I did that a couple times by accident way back when.
"Okay, so if you're not going to completely wreck my base this time, could you leave? I have a ton of damage control to do thanks to that grenade of yours!" I said, pointing out at the countless black and crimson flames scattered across the estate, destroying anything they come into contact with, even the barrier on the mountains out back was starting to crumble.
"Okey, I'll leave for today, but on one condition!" The playboy said, giving me an ominous grin.
"I swear! If you don't get off my turf before the count of-!"
"My condition is that you don't let the rat-man get you roped into a marriage until my return!" The playboy spoke, cutting me off mid-threat.
"I ain't givin up the single life, so leave and never return you foul beast from the playboy dimension!" I said, flipping off the masochist.
"HAHAHA!"
It seems like my words of wisdom had worked as I saw the evil playboy floating into the sky and fading away into thin air. It seems my holy middle finger holds the power to smite these evil creatures back to whatever dark dimension they crawled out of.
"Okey! He's gone!"
"He may be gone, but the whole estate is in ruins!" The old man said.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Ping!"
"NO, SHUT UP NING! IF NOT FOR HER BRINGING IN THAT SAVAGE BEGGAR, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING! JUST LOOK AROUND YOU! THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY SHE CAN MAKE UP FOR ALL TH-!"
At that moment I took off my mask to trigger myself so I could release a full blast flame of control to cover the entire estate in one go. I immediately put out the playboy's fires and fixed most of the damage. I even brought back the dead. Well, the ones that weren't completely incinerated that is.
"Tsk! Seems his aura got stronger somehow!"
When I last fought him in an aura battle on the 1st continent, his aura seemed to mostly effect the physical and elemental, while having only a weakened effect on the spiritual, but now it seems he can even burn the soul with ease. That makes the whole resurrection thing a lot trickier when recovering from his rampages.
"Hm? It couldn't be because of the Pain-Stick, could it?"
The Hell frost is all about inflicting pain on the soul. It might be possible he somehow incorporated some of its characteristics while being exposed to it.
"Nah!"
While it's theoretically possible, it would usually take more than a couple of smacks for someone to pull something like that off. The only one who's ever managed to pull something like that off so fast was…
"Huh? Am I a legend?"