Clarissa already had my full attention during our date, and that was somehow even more so now. Clarissa had never once mentioned her mother, although I obviously knew she had one, I just didn't want to ask since she'd never talked about her before. You never knew if something was a sore subject or not.
"Cici, you there?" I asked in my head, and her response was immediate, "I am. Just relaxing with Valerie here. You seem anxious. Is everything fine?"
"It is. Clarissa wants you to hear what she has to say. She's telling me about her mom, and wanted you to hear it to. So, I'm just going to relay her words as she speaks. Okay?" I said, and I felt a bit of surprise, before her affection for the woman in question soared.
"Of course, darling. Valerie's asleep, so I'm all ears. Or... all mind, I guess." She said, making me hold back a chuckle. I went back to Clarissa after only a few heartbeats.
"Everything you tell me, Cici will know too. Whenever you are ready, Clarissa, just tell me what you comfortable with." I said softly, and Clarissa smiled as she squeezed my hand for support, and I squeezed hers right back.
"I don't talk about my mother much, mainly because I'm still lost and confused about what happened..." She said, her eyes growing distant for a moment, before she continued, "She was there in my younger years. She was a wonderful mother, and I loved her dearly... I still do, even if I don't understand exactly what happened. I remember her smile, her warmth, her care for me, the way she would always be there for me when I was sad or when I hurt myself, when she would read me stories before bed, or when she'd be there if I woke up after a bad dream. I remember so much, and yet... it was so long ago that I feel like I've forgotten so much more."
She was speaking softly so no one else would hear her, but we were in the back of the restaurant with no one in the vicinity, so there wasn't a chance of anyone overhearing us. I just nodded at her, rubbing her hand affectionately as I waited for her to continue. She did after a small moment.
"The thing that always stuck with me, even now, was her incredible use of ice magic. From what I remember, her class wasn't much higher than mine, but she was incredible at it. Her control, her precision, the way she made her magic look like an art form... it mesmerized me. I always told her that I wanted to be just like her when I grew up." She said, her lip quivering as she said, "And she'd always run her hand through my hair, and say, 'I will always be proud of my little girl, no matter what you do."'
I gently brought my hand up, and wiped away her tears with my thumb, and she nuzzled her cheek into my hand. I could tell that from my words being relayed to Cici, that she too had to wipe away a few tears. I just smiled at Clarissa, waiting for her to be ready to continue, but if she didn't want to, I'd understand. I just wanted her to be comfortable, and know that I cared about her, and I really and truly did.
"I admired her magic so much. She would use in such beautiful ways. She liked sculpt figures using her ice. She could just shape her magic into what she wanted, but she chose to actually use a pick and chisel on a block of ice that she created. Even if it would be gone once she canceled the magic, she still always did it with a smile on her face. When I asked her about it one day, she told me, 'It helps me relax, and it proves that even if something you made is gone, you can always make it again, but better. I don't lament the loss of its beauty, but I'm happy that I can always make it more beautiful the next time."
Clarissa, with a few tears in her eyes, smiled fondly as she spoke. Her mother sounded like a truly wondeful person, which makes me dread what could have happened to her, or what Clarissa would tell me.
"She's sounds like an amazing woman, and it sounds like she loved you very much." I said, and Clarissa smiled, although her smile was conflicted.
"She was, and she did... or least, I thought she did. Remember how I told you that... my father wasn't always that bad?" She asked me, the word father sounding forced, but I just nodded, "Well, while he wasn't always there, or the most attentive, he truly wasn't the monster he became. My mom seemed to truly love my father, and I know it's hard to believe, but I really think he loved her too. Honestly, I'm pretty sure he became that way because of what happened. I guess... I just pushed it all aside and tried not to think about it."
I listened patiently, comforting her as I waited for her to continue. I, as well as Cici, were practically on the edges of our seats waiting to hear what happened. Everything about Clarissa mattered to me, to both of us, and we would be here for her, to help grow, to help her heal, and... to love her.
"Do you think you can continue?" I asked, and she gave me a delicate smile, and nodded, squeezing my hand again.
"Yes." She said.
Despite the sadness in her eyes as she told us this, I saw the determination in her eyes as she spoke. This was painful for her, yet she was pushing past it because she wanted to share this with us. She didn't want anything hidden or unknown between us. I too had much more to share with her, and I would, because I wanted to. Cici and I both wanted to share our lives with this woman, and I myself was not going to let her go. She was too important to me now.
Clarissa collected her thoughts for a moment, and spoke once more.
"It was so sudden the day it happened, and to this day, I don't understand it, and I've never had any closure. I was 6 years old when this happened. I just... woke up one day, and she was gone. She always came to wake me up every morning, but that morning, it was my father instead. I was so confused, as he never did that for me, and when I asked him... he was so cold when he spoke. He said that my mom decided to just leave, and that we'd never see her again... and that I should just forget about her. That she didn't care about us anymore. And then? He just walked out of my room, just like that." She said this as tears fell from her eyes.
I didn't know what to say. I quickly grabbed a cloth and dabbed at her eyes, thankful that no one was around to see her like this. I didn't mind at all myself, but I'm sure she didn't want other people seeing her cry loke this. I was struggling to hold back my own tears, because the pain in her voice broke my heart. I knew that Cici was crying, her heart hurting for the girl we'd come to adore so much.
"I'm so sorry, Clarissa. Please, you don't have to say any more. I see how much it hurts you." I said, continung to dab at her eyes while I brought my other hand up to caress her cheek soothingly.
Clarissa closed her eyes, and leaned into my touch. She was doing her best to hold back the sobs I knew wanted to escape. This woman was so strong, and given how her life had been, I'd expect nothing less.
Our lives, while different in some ways, were also similar in a lot of others. The situations with our mothers were different, yes, but we both experienced, as well as watched, our fathers grow colder and more cruel as we got older. They even met the same fate... except both of their deaths were on my hands. I did not regret that to this day, but still... we were so much more alike than I had ever realized.
"Eli... we are never letting her go. Never. We will help her heal, and fill her life with so much happiness she'll be drowning in it." Cici said to me, her voice in my head conveying absolute conviction.
"We will, kitten. We'll make sure she knows how much we cherish her, each and every day." I replied, love and warmth filling the bond.
"You know..." Clarissa eventually said, and I focused back on her, my gaze fixing on those blue gems of hers, "Despite how this looks... it actually felt good to get that off my chest. To actually tell someone... or rather, someones?" She said, the last part making me smile, as it no doubt did for Cici as well.
"We are both here for you, and now, we always will be." I said, and she smiled at me, her lip quivering as she rubbed her cheek into my hand again.
"Thank you. Both of you." She said, and I smiled at her.
"Of course. Thank you for sharing that with us, even if it was painful." I said, and she gave me a cute little smile of her own.
"I didn't quite finish... and I want to. The last bit isn't as painful." She said, and I just nodded, giving her all of my attention, "Despite what happened, and even now, I still love my mother... and I know she loved me. That couldn't have been fake. That being said, I don't know what happened, or what reasons she had for leaving, but I refuse to believe she would just abandon me. I just don't know... but I still admired her, still looked up to her, and I still wanted to be like her, as I fell in love with her magic. Then, when I came of age, and got my class... I got exactly what I wanted. I cried a lot that day, because it felt like it was something to remember her by. And, the more I practiced, and got familiar with the magic, I understood what she meant. It truly is a beautiful form of magic."
"It truly sounds like she did love you. What was her name, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked, and she smiled, warmth in her eyes.
"Claire." She said, and I chuckled softly.
"Of course it was." I said, drawing a small laugh from her, which made me smile, "She named you after her, so it sounds like she loved you. Who knows what happened... I certainly don't, but if you ever decide you want to know... maybe we can find her one day." I said, trying to convey just how much I wanted to help her.
Clarissa's eyes glistened again, but there was no sadness in them. Affection, gratitude, and her building love for me shone in those eyes, and the moment had me feeling weightless for a brief moment.
"I would like to know... even if the answer could be something I don't want... I'd still like to know. Perhaps... once everything is settled here, I'll take you up on that." She said, and I just smiled as I brushed a piece of hair out of her face that fell in between her eyes, making her blush a soft pink, but not full on red this time. That's progress.
"It's a promise." I said, and the smile she gave me was intoxicating.
"Eli." Cici's voice said during our lull, and I kept my gaze on Clarissa while responding mentally.
"Yes dear?" I asked.
"If there's anything else she wants me to know, please tell me, but Valerie just woke up, and the poor girl is starving. I'm pretty hungry too, so we're going to go and get some food, and maybe find something else to do. Give Clarissa a kiss for me please, and make the rest of her night one she'll never forget." Cici said, and amusement flitted from me to her.
"Our food should be here soon, and I'm starving, so I get you. I will pass anything on she tells me to you, so don't worry. Now, go eat, and... I will definitely pass along your message. Enthusiastically. " I said, and I could tell my words made her laugh, before she sent me a healthy dose of love, and went along her way.
Meanwhile, Clarissa just stared into my eyes, like they were the most interesting things she'd ever seen. Or maybe it was me that was captivated by hers, because I couldn't look away. Regardless, I had a task to complete.
"Cici wanted me to give you something." I said, and Clarissa's eyebrows rose a bit.
"Oh? What is it?" She asked, and I just smirked, leaned over, and kissed her.
She made a cute little sound of surprise as I did so, but her lips were more than eager to return it after a heartbeat. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was enough to temporarily take the breath from her lungs. I broke the kiss after a few seconds. She breathed out a shakey breath, her face burning.
"That... I mean... Cici asked you to do that... to me... from her?" She stammered, and I couldn't hold back my chuckle.
"Yup. Sure did, and quite honestly... I can't blame her one bit." I said, grinning as her cheeks brightened.
A few moments of watching Clarissa being absolutely adorable later, I heard the familiar sound of footsteps growing closer to us. Mirielle was there, carrying a small tray with a platter in the middle, as well as two pitchers of both the ale I ordered, and more water for Clarissa.
"Good thing she's back, huh?" She asked, and I chuckled along with her.
"I feel like I could eat everything in this place." I said, and she narrowed her pretty eyes at me.
"Do not eat my pasta." She said, and I barked a laugh.
"Sure thing, my lady." I replied, and she snorted.
"Well! I see you two lovers are having a great time!" Mirielle said as ahe arrived, and I smirked at Clarissa, who blushed a decent amount, but she was actually doing a lot better.
"We are." I said, then got a wiff of the stuffed mushrooms on the tray, and my mouth began to water, "Damn, those smell good."
Mirielle laughed happily as she sat two of the trays down in front of each of us, and put the pitchers in the middle of the table.
"Here's your appetizers, as well as plenty to drink. My husband was rather surprised at your large order, so he just began to make everything at once. So, while I apologize for the small wait, your main dishes should be out very shortly." She said, and we both smiled at her, thanked her, and she went along her way.
"It's so weird." Clarissa said, picking up a mushroom, and blowing on it to cool it down, "We've met some truly awful people in this city, but then we've also met some of the nicest."
I just nodded as I had already popped the first mushroom in my mouth, and a cascade of flavors exploded in my mouth. A few different kinds of cheeses, garlic, onions, and many different herbs and other vegetables I couldn't even place. It was fucking delicious, I'll have to say. Clarissa had giggled softly, before she finally bit into hers as well, and a closer to a moan escaped her throat, and I had to say... after hearing that, I really wanted to hear that noise in a different context.
"Good?" I asked as I finally swallowed my food and picked up the next.
"Oh gods, yes." She replied in the same tone, and again... well, that did not really help the images going through my mind, that's for sure.
I will say though, as we ate, I couldn't help but just admire how good she looked while stuffing her face, and the genuine happiness that was on her face was a look that I wanted to see on her all of the time.
We ate, traded some silly banter, and mostly just looked at each other like high-school sweethearts for another 10 minutes or so before Mirielle came back out wheeling a much larger cart of food out to us. My 3 plates, and Clarissa 1 plate. She also brought us a plate with roughly a dozen steaming breadsticks on it. I didn't know if they called them that in this world, but god damn it, they were breadsticks.
"They you are you two! Please, let me know if you need anything else. I'll be around, so just call for me if you do, or when you are ready to leave. Elias, Clarissa, please enjoy!" She said enthusiastically, bowing her head a bit, before leaving with a smile.
"She's so sweet." Clarissa said, before looking down at her food, and practically beginning to salivate, "Framework above... this looks and smells amazing."
She was not wrong. I had gotten the same dish, and it looked fucking incredible. That said nothing about l everything else I had gotten as well. This steak was apparently made by a B+ ranked Chimera, which sounded pretty cool. I just ordered the most expensive one they had if I'm being honest.
The fish was apparently apparently made from a fish called a Shockfin of the same rank, although besides the name, I had no idea what it was. The name suggests lightning mana, so I wondered how that would affect the taste. I should really sit down and read about this world's creatures and such.
This pasta though, was made with these big thick noodles, and the plate was stacked high. A light red sauce covered the dish, with various herbs and vegetables mixed in, and it had chunks of whatever creature they used as the protein. The whole thing made my nose twitch with excitement.
I looked up to see that Clarissa hadn't even bothered with decorum. She was currently stuffing a fork full of her pasta into her mouth, noodles hanging out of it while her other hand held a breakstick. I laughed, mainly because it was the cutest looking sight I'd seen in a while. She looked at me, blushed only slightly, then went right back to it.
I just smiled as I dug in, starting with the steak, and oh man, it was delicious. It was cook to prefection, a light pinkish color in the middle as it melted in my mouth and exploded with flavor. The potatoes were lightly seasoned, and were soft and fluffy on the inside. I was coming back here with some of the others, that was for sure.
"This is the best thing I've ever eaten." Clarissa said, beaming brightly as she scooped some of her pasta onto a breakstick, and bit into it.
"It's delicious. Best steak I've ever had." I replied.
At my words, Clarissa's eyes went my steak, and even with a mouthful of her own food, I could tell she was interested in trying it. I chuckled at her, before gathering up a forkful of steak and potatoes. I held the fork up just as she swallowed her food.
"Want to try?" I asked, making her flush a bit.
"It... does look really good. You sure?" She asked, and my only answer was a smirk as I brought the fork closer to her lips.
She looked at it, turned a faint pink, and then opened her mouth and accepted me feeding her. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she chewed, once again making a sound that I would definitely like to hear in a more private setting. Juices from the food leaked down her chin, making me chuckle as I grabbed a cloth and dabbed at it.
"It's... so good." She said in a low voice, and it made me unsure if she was talking about the food or not. I was here for it either way.
"It really is, isn't it?" I asked, my tone equal in pitch, and her eyes became hooded for just a moment.
It didn't take long for us to get back to munching like a couple of stoners, and I moved onto the fish next, which was flakey, seasoned with some zest that reminded me of lemon, and cooked to utter perfection. The vegetables were light, steamed, and actually really good. I gave some to Clarissa, and I swore she actually got sexual satisfaction from eating, which was totally fine by me. I really did enjoy everything about her.
We fell into a comfortable silence as we practically devoured everything in front of us, and I was surprised at how much food this small woman could pack away. I was just lost in rhe beauty of her smile as she ate without a care in the world, looking the most content I'd ever seen her. I wanted her near me as much as possible, and I wanted to keep her safe from any and everything.
Whether it seemed too early or not, it didn't change how I felt. I wasn't falling in love with her anymore, because that feeling was already there. I wouldn't lie and say that Cici wasn't the person I loved the most, but I'd also be lying if I denied the feelings I was currently feeling. I knew in time that this feeling would grow even more, and I couldn't help but just be happy. Cici was absolutely right, and I wouldn't deny myself the things that would made me happy. And this woman in front of me? I found myself wanting to do everything I could for her.