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Real Pieces of Sh*t: The Sloppy & Sugary Love of the CEO & Me

X_Chitl
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Synopsis
What kind of relationship develops between two self-destructive, impulsive people of different tax brackets (a CEO & a retail worker) come together after an unpleasant shopping encounter and proposition of an assistant position--who gradually begin to seriously care for each other, despite a constant budding of heads and individual flaws? Probably a very messy, very passionate romance, and 50-50 chance of growing old together... Trigger Warning: constant banter and bickering, and a little too much reality *Cover is temporary while illustration in commission - generated by gencraft
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12025-06-15 14:03
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Chapter 1 - 1

*Stylistics note: Italics are dialogue and thoughts. Bold is the replacement for what italics normally do in text

White bread, five clementines, rice, and five-day expired lunch meat. That's all that's left for the next two weeks. Obviously, it could be much worse for Adriana, but that doesn't stop her from frequently contemplating killing herself instead of having to take care of herself forever and buying the the healthiest (most expensive) products (...among other reasons). 

Still, she trudges on and even manages to iron her work uniform today (a rare and impressive feat for her). Before she heads out for hell, she looks herself in the eyes in the streaked bathroom mirror--damn, I should really invest in some concealer. 

After spending 15 minutes searching for keys that were already deep inside in her tote bag, and forgetting again to pack lunch, she agonizingly zooms off to The Food Market. Of course, a completely misleading name; it's a gas station and hardly even has 2/3rds of its product stocked at any point in time. 

Nothing abnormal, the usual two-sided old man: one who forces a fake laugh out of her as he finds a way to say he has to take her out to dinner, and one who snatches the product from the very back of the counter before he's even paid. The gentle man who gives his gas order before making it even halfway to the counter who throws his cash and leaves immediately after. The sweet regular who brightens the day, but spends 15 minutes on lottery and causes a chain reaction of anger for those in line behind her, who subsequently take it out on her. 

Then, something abnormal. One of the most gorgeous-looking men Adriana's ever seen, a man with long brown hair and sharp green eyes that seem to increasingly glisten the more she stares at him. Her eyes shoot down once he notices, and she goes back into character. 

Good morning. Just a pack of Marlboro reds, please. She grabs them down and immediately types in the order. Her eyes pan over his well-tailored suit. Back to his high cheekbones, his--

Little tired? Her mind empties itself then. She feels it contort like a Potato Head toy having all its parts removed for the nth time of the day.

Little more than that. I mean, it's a Saturday morning and I'm stuck...here.

Ah, I can understand that. It could be a lot worse though haha.

Interesting coming from someone like you, she snickers.

Someone like me? 

I mean, look at you. You look like you make seven figures and never had to work a normal-person job a day in your life. I don't think you can understand. 

You do realize I'm working today too? 

Yeah, not the same thing. 

Yeah, I think my job as a CEO is a bit harder, no? 

Adriana just laughs, avoiding eye contact now. 

You know if you don't like your job, you can always quit. Enough ammunition to itch that good engine of her omnipresent attitude. 

Who the fucks wants to work retail? I'm here to pay my bills like everyone else.

Well, you could always come work as an assistant for me if you can't stand it that much. 

How much is the pay? 

Really? And here I was getting the vibe that you didn't like me so much. 

Do you think the employees under you actually like you? 

Yes, they actually do, he says straightening his posture and squinting.

Sure man, and I'm actually enjoying this conversation.

Clearly so, if you're dragging it on like this.

I'm on-shift, I can't leave. You can, you're the one holding me hostage. 

Okay, I guess I'll be on my way now that our business is finished. He pulls out a black card from his gray dress pants' pocket and places it on the register counter. 

For your consideration. He bows slightly all the while and smiles cheekily at her. She stares deadpan at him without moving a centimeter. 

I think I've made it more than clear that I'm not interested in you. That's going straight into the trash can.

Interested in me? That's the line for my work phone and business.

Still going into the trash.

Okay, but if I see an unknown number flashing come Monday morning, I will have the right to laugh in your face?

Yeah, yeah, feel free to live out your fantasies in your head...Probably not even a real company, probably something you printed out at Walgreens earlier to hide your obsession with me, or probably some elaborate crypto scheme you're trying to pull me into...the watch is probably fake too.

And why would I choose you out of all people for either of those? Also, I just walked out of Bulgari before I came in here.

Mhm, sure. And because I'm a young-looking, pretty-looking girl working a miserable dead-end job, duh. He looks her up and down, with a furtive side smile that goes away in a blink. 

Your words, not mine, but I think even people with the worst of intentions would've already given up on you after the first minute of this conversation. She glares at him and lazily hands him his cigarettes.

If you're not buying anything else, sir, please see yourself out.

That's no way to treat a paying customer, love, but I guess I should be grateful you at least know the word 'please'. I do have places to be anyway. Talk to you Monday then?

You won't. 

I will.

Definitely won't.

Sure I won't, he says with a big smirk on his face. Adriana scrunches her face in disgust and rolls her eyes.

With that, the handsome prick leaves with the jingle of the door chime. Adriana throws up a fist as soon as his back faces her, which unfortunately appears in front of another quick-coming, surprised customer. She clears her throat and she pretends nothing happened. 

The interaction replays in her head the rest of the day. A hot asshole she thought, sure. An annoying conversation, yes. Yet, somehow she didn't feel entirely entirely repulsed by it, by him. 

Even during the best time of the day, the one where she gets to lie on her memory foam mattress, mindlessly scrolling through videos until she passes out--he still lingered on. 

Tch. So stupid. I better not see him tomorrow either. Not like he'll want to come back anyway. He sure was acting like he never wanted to shut up with me, though. Stupid. His looks don't make him any less annoying either. Definitely won't hear that phone ring either, I have my dignity. He's so annoying he's got me thinking about him even now...Tch, stupid.