He didn't get angry at being called an idiot by Su'er. The Old Deus of Doubt just quietly listened to his laughter until the low laughter also disappeared.
[Are you... lonely?]
Without any circumlocution, the Old Deus of Doubt suddenly asked.
[Lonely?]
Repeating the Old Deus of Doubt's seemingly pointed judgment, Su'er once again chuckled nervously, muttering as if in a trance.
[I'm not lonely... In fact, it's the complete opposite. It's much livelier here than you think, you know?]
This was not a fantasy world created by a mentally ill patient. What Su'er said was the absolute truth without a single ounce of falsehood. For him at this moment, the emotion of loneliness should, in theory, have no connection to him at all.
The lives that had consumed his flesh and blood, whether they still retained their physical bodies or had already transformed into the purest Elves and infiltrated the Spirit Corridor, Su'er could clearly feel their existence, their will, and their souls that had already been separated from the cycle of this world.
Sharing each other's heart sounds and conveying unfulfilled dreams, Su'er talked with them, and they also talked with each other, like a "city" where the lights never went out.
The Old Deus of Doubt was not completely unaware of Su'er's "city." In fact, when the "city" welcomed its first batch of "residents," Su'er, who was in a state of panic and confusion, was only able to stabilize his mind with the help of Him and Think.
But this did not mean that the Old Deus of Doubt and Think truly understood that world that only Su'er could see. In fact, on the contrary, the Old Deus of Doubt, who could see more than the mortal Think, was still worried.
That endlessly noisy world, the intertwined thoughts of souls who considered themselves to have intellect, and countless unique wills.
[Are you... crazy?]
The question that broke Su'er's murmur. The Old Deus of Doubt had asked this question many times in the past, but He never got tired of asking it.
And Su'er would give the same answer every time—a negative answer.
When the question was asked, the Old Deus of Doubt had already given Himself the answer in advance. That man would surely, in the next moment, say those three words that seemed to never change again... But the Old Deus's prediction failed.
[...Maybe.]
The words were mixed in a long sigh. The entire cave also exhaled a heavy breath as if a giant beast was turning over.
[Do you regret it?]
The question that would never stop. The Old Deus of Doubt asked this question. Beneath His calm voice, He could not even see what He was anticipating at this moment. This unknown feeling fascinated Him.
Was He waiting for this man to stop all his plans and save his life?
Or was He feeling regret for the retreat of a resolute soul?
Or was He anticipating a twist that might appear again?
[When I was little, I wavered. I decided my life according to my feelings and impulses. I was touched by my choices, and then I regretted my choices... At that time, I resented everything. I was angry that it was me who had to endure all the pain.]
He did not answer the Old Deus of Doubt's question. Instead, Su'er slowly recalled as if he was talking to himself.
[And when I got a little older, I was immersed in a delusion that seemed to not exist in this world. I enjoyed a wonderful life that other Imanity had never even dreamed of. I lived without a care in the world, doing as I pleased, and I satisfied my heart by secretly helping others. I was touched by what I did... At that time, I just wanted that life to last forever, even if it was unchangeable, until the end of the world.]
[Living under the same roof as the beautiful Elf and Flügel that you can't help but fantasize about, being seen in a different light by them, and even putting aside racial prejudice to become friends who could trust each other... I was nostalgic for that beautiful time. That was the happiest and most fulfilling memory I've had since coming to this world.]
Every syllable revealed a deep sense of nostalgia and satisfaction. The blue flowers that bloomed with it also emitted a soft light. It was joy, and it was also nostalgia. Su'er's story continued.
[And now, my shoulders have gradually broadened, my body has gradually grown stronger, and my will has gradually become resolute. In the crook of my arm, the fire of a newborn race's hope is burning, even if the flame is still weak.]
His withered limbs trembled slightly. He was trying hard.
[Regret it? Maybe. But such a weak thought can no longer shake my soul. I have already stepped in front of the God of War. I even saw Him smiling at me. His golden gaze stabbed my soul like lightning, but it made me burn even more intensely.]
[It's not a delusion, and it's not self-deception... I want to become the One True God. I want to annihilate this war, which is said to never end and whose reason has even been forgotten, in my generation.]
[Listen—did you hear it? Doubt?]
He suddenly stopped talking, and Su'er asked softly.
[They're cheering for me~]
He could not hear such a voice, but the words that the Old Deus of Doubt wanted to say would not change at all.
[You have gone mad.]
[Ah, then I'll be mad.]
Su'er replied indifferently. There was not the slightest hesitation or pause.
[Only a madman can have everything.]
[Is it worth it?]
[There is nothing more worthwhile than risking one's life for the future. I will become the One True God. And at that time, I, as the omniscient and omnipotent One True God, will answer all the questions you have—wasn't that what we promised each other in the past?]
[I will be watching you.]
[Ah, I know. Then please watch carefully, our future.]
The cave once again fell into darkness for a while. The two voices that appeared alternately suddenly disappeared.
[Speaking of which, we've been with each other for so many years, we should be friends, right?]
After a while, Su'er slowly asked again.
[It was but a blink of an eye. But... friends, there's nothing wrong with that.]
[That's great. Can I be curious about something, my friend? Your feigned death state back then was probably very rare even among the Old Deus, wasn't it? Why did you feign death?]
This was a question that both Su'er and Think were very curious about.
[...In the beginning, in a world without intellect, I judged Myself, I tried to create intellect, I yearned to get the answers to questions... but I could not get the answers.]
[...I doubted My own existence. I ultimately denied My own existence. I pierced My own Divine Core. I exchanged death for an answer... This is what happened before I met you.]