H a r l a n
Harlan had been struggling since the moment he saw Maya wearing his clothes. It was a sight for sore eyes that made him want to fuck her until she screamed his name, that she was his and he was hers.
So, to avoid doing that, he avoided looking at her for too long and took many deep breaths. Of course, his libido died down the moment she asked about Selene.
His first instinct was to close down and stop having this conversation, but she deserved to know.
"Yes," was all he said, but it was a big step for him not to deflect or ask her the useless question: "How did you know?" Because it wasn't hard to guess. She was a trained psychiatrist, and when he met her, he was still drooling over his sister-in-law like a stupid puppy.
"I see," was all she answered as she lowered her eyes back to her ramen. "Do you still love her?"
Harlan sighed as he took her face with both of his hands and squished her face. Fuck, she was so cute, but she was sad or insecure, and he never wanted her to feel like that.
"No, I only love you," he said, letting her go as he looked down.
"To be honest, I think I was in love with her because she was the first person to worry about me, and because I had never met anyone like her. She was so full of light, even after all she went through. And she was caring and kind..."
"And beautiful," Maya said sadly.
"Yes," he said, still not looking at her. "Did you know I fought Damien for her? Before I knew they were mates, that is." He laughed, and then he looked at her. "I'm so glad Damien won, because what I felt for her could never even measure up to what I feel for you."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Maya, I have never and I will never love anyone more than I love you. Selene is pretty and kind, but we are better off as friends," he said. "I think if we ever dated, we would murder each other." He laughed, and Maya did too.
"I remember you fought a lot when we met," she said.
"Yeah, because she has the bad habit of babying people, and I like to torture them."
Maya smiled once more.
"Any more questions?" He picked up Maya's now empty bowl and put it in the dishwasher.
When he faced her again, she was studying him intently.
"Yeah, actually..." she walked over with a suspicious look on her face. "Why won't you look at me? Is it my hair?" she smiled playfully.
This was the only question he was afraid of answering, mostly because he was afraid she didn't feel the same thing he did.
"Your hair looks fine," he assured her. It didn't look too bad. It was different, but it was still hers, and he loved her. Fuck, he loved her.
"Then what is it?" she walked, cornering him against the counter. She was so close he could smell her addictive scent. It was making him crazy.
"I'm trying my best to control myself right now, Maya," he warned, closing his eyes. Suddenly he heard her back away.
"Oh," she said. "About that.."
He interrupted, not wanting to make her feel pressured.
"We don't have to do anything, really. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or pressured. It's just... this is new to me. I'm struggling to control it," he confessed.
And she smiled.
"I'm never uncomfortable around you, and if I'm feeling pressured, I'd tell you." She came closer and hugged him. "But you being worried about me is making me want to do it even more."
He hesitated, hugging her back.
"Are you sure? You shouldn't want to do it because of me..."
In a movement so fast he could barely see it, she got up on the tips of her toes and kissed him.
He was reluctant, and it was weird because he never really cared for someone this deeply before. But a kiss could be just that.
He kissed her back with so much force they had to stop to get some air.
"Are you sure?" he asked, and she nodded.
"We can stop at any moment."
He knew this could be hard for her, and as much as he wanted to ravish her, he knew it would be better if he took it slow. So he summoned as much self-control as he could, and if he didn't have any, he would fabricate it right then and there because he wasn't going to hurt her.
Maybe he didn't deserve her, maybe he was bad for her, but he could change.
He would change to be a man worthy of her, to make sure she felt safe and happy around him all the time.
He promised himself this as he picked her up and carried her to the bed, placing her softly on it.
She smiled, and he was suddenly more nervous than he had ever been before.
This was extremely weird because Harlan had a lot of experience when it came to sex, but he had never done it with someone he loved before.
He kissed her once more.
Hell, he could kiss her forever if that was all she wanted to do.
She smiled into the kiss and separated.
"I can feel you overthinking," she whispered, and he smiled.
"Are you sure you can do this?" he said, resting his weight on his arms on either side of her.
"I want to try because I want you right now."
He could hear the need in her voice, and it was driving him insane.