Alex's p.o.v
Sorting through the mismatched posters, she felt like a stranger in a world too numb to notice its own unravelling. Everything was just too normal here. People lived like the laws of nature had never existed like chaos had always been a choice. Maybe she was being dramatic. Maybe not. She's been here for just over five years, and she still feels like she doesn't belong. She does not force her religion or beliefs onto anyone, but she still feels like she's doing something wrong.
Their Fate seemed perfectly content with dressing up every kind of sin in celebration, like sexual immorality was just another trend to embrace. But her discomfort goes deeper, why does she not understand it? She tries to live a quiet life separated from everyone including the people she considers friends. She hides her nature whereas anyone can parade their 'identity' and it's celebrated.
She knows that her judgement does not change reality that's why she's been trying to understand instead of condemning. It would be hypocritical for her to flee Umbriel because of a belief that she questioned and turn to judge them... her friends. At this point they don't bring it up to her which makes her feel like an outsider, but it does make sense to not include her because no reason has been satisfactory. Perhaps her old pack instilled a deep critical fear of the unknown she's been slowly exposing herself into.
And then, him. The alpha she bumped into today... no, he was a Deucalion. the second his scent hit her she felt it, the connection, it's him. Her wolf must have figured it out because she felt her claw at her instincts. Thankfully she did not look at him, everything happened so fast in that minute that her mind was deconstructing a code that has never been written. She focused on the papers she spent days preparing for two separate faculties. She did this as a favour to Lucas, but he focused on been the perfect Moon character. The only difference is that he is the kind, giving, incredible alpha he works hard to be perceived.
Once the content that were in the box, the man knelt there waiting. What is he waiting for? How can she escape without acknowledging him? She heard a voice in the distant which drew the man's attention. She took it as an opportunity, and she silently moved away from his side before she rushed out of his line of sight. She's safe. For the short amount of time, she was next to him she questioned... why am I not looking at my fated mate? She sighs and bites her lower lip, insecurity creeping in. There is nothing to chase. She is nothing. And nothing could make that kind of man take interest.
"Come on Alex you have been at this for two days now. It looks fine; besides it is the same thing. All you were asked to do was take all the posters from the office and distribute it amongst the newbies to advertise their competition."
"Wrong. I was tasked to go through the register for the faculty of Health Silences, Veterinary Science as well as the faculty of arts and communications... I don't know why I had to do that one since our facilities are no way near each other."
She corrected while reorganising the final batch of papers with the appropriate stickers, student logs as well as the sending reports to the representatives of the different faculties. She even went as far as to print up posters to advertise the new Moon competition.
"Seriously Lucas jump in here." Leo complains before bringing his face close to her own. "Listen princess, I do not know whether it is your compulsive disorder but this really insane."
He places his hand on the files and headshot of the students who will be participation in the competition. Every faculty has to design their own advantage and Lucas roped Leo to that task. His design was simple but tasteful. There are cartoon figures he asked her to draw based on a dream he had, he made it look more in theme and colourful. The students competing are objectively attractive, but the guy named Booth is an arrogant prick who passed the entrance exam to this faculty. Anyways she will not let that man rest in her head rent free. Leo performed his given tasks within time frame, and everything looks incredible especially the neon lights.
"Lucas tell Leo what I'm doing is beyond his business."
She rolls her eyes at Leo. Now it's a starring competition and if she blinks, she concedes to the fact Leo thinks she's keeping something away from them.
"Lucas."
Leo calls and they both blink turning to the open door.
"Lucas?!"
They both spat simultaneously when their gaze met, they realised the men whose attention was required was nowhere to be seen. They stared at each other blankly before breaking down into fruitful balls of laughter and continued their banter. She really does enjoy spending time with Leo who wants to be a dentist and has this sweet, caring side that make her want to protect him. His like her brother, nothing more than just a brother.
"I bet you, his with that first-year kid. What is his name again? Shh, do not tell me... Mhmm Toby. Do you think that Lucas has a thing for him?"
"I have nothing to say right now regarding this."
She does not comment on topics like theses especially since her opinions are not known to be popular. Lucas is out there worming his way to be around the eighteen-year-old boy he developed feeling for. She can't fight fate and she can't force love; she just has to find a way to burn her feelings to the ground.
"Does this make him... Uh gay now?"
"I was raised to think different, so I try to be indifferent," she points out. She never brings up nor does she want to talk about such concerns, unprovoked. "Please don't ask for my opinions."
Short, somewhat respectful and it leaves no room for further discussion.
"Okay. Even if he is, as his best friends we should always support his choices. Besides gender does not matter when it is an alpha and omega."
She nods before facing friend. she knows where she stands which is her own lane minding her own, business so she looks at her friend.
"Who are you trying to convince?"
Leo is in the closet, unfortunately for him it's made of glass. She does not want to dwell on their sexuality; it literally has nothing to do with her. She stacked the boxes on top of each other, she will continue just minding her own business and being nice. She moved to sit where Leo sat, liking girl's pictures on Instagram. They sat there in silence, but Leo had to break the solace with a ridiculous question.
"So, are you into guys?"
"What else do I have to be attracted to?"
She's an omega. If any alpha knew, mating wouldn't even be a choice. She wants to make that decision especially if that alpha happens to be her fated mate. She does not want the lines regarding consent, respect and connection to be replaces by feral instincts. She does not want to settle or conform to the expectations for woman in her old pack, she does not want to be content with less than the bare minimum. She does not want to force her happiness; she does not want to express their toxic values because she has first account of how words hurt. She can't do that to others, and she definitely can't subject herself to anything less than not just love but stability.
"You know what I mean."
He gave her a pointed stare, one that demanded answers she wasn't ready to give. Honestly, she didn't even know how to explain the emotions swirling inside her especially when she had every intention of ignoring them. Burying them, if she had to.
Suddenly, an idea struck her. She remembered that night she and Leo stayed up way too late, laughing over a list of conspiracy theories after watching some alien movies. She scoffed at the memory, amused. This world was so sure of its version of reality, yet it was built on layers of denial especially when it came to basic facts. There is much of the ocean that has yet to be explored, there is much in the world that is yet to be discovered and there is much in the universe that cannot be explained... that her position in the whole mock debate. She finally faced Leo; she's not interested in him romantically and she needs him to stop chasing her.
"No. I do not have any romantic feeling for either gender. What do the call this again? Asexual. Asexuality is a thing you know, your world should know about something like that. What about you? Are you into men or women?"
"There is this girl I like but she does not seem to be interested, you know. I don't even think she notices me at all."
"Did you tell her how you feel? Girls likes guys who are honest and open about their emotions... common head up, stand up straight and have a lot of confidence. Make sure you check out all the determinants to see whether or not it is feasible to shoot your shot. Make a move without a conflict and I know you will be fine. You a great guy and if she does not see it, I promise someone will and will and they cherish you like you deserve."
"Alex can I be honest, uh No... I want to be honest with you?"
"Of course you can Leo, there is no need to literally ask we are friends remember."
The nervous expression in her friend's dark eyes got wash off and replaced by stoic expression. The door banged open, and Lucas strode in walked in holding two bags, one bag with take-out meals and the other with snacks. None of them trusted the innocent smile on his face and the fact he bought them snacks, means it had to be a favour.
"What do you want?"