*In which our mischievous protagonist discovers that bullying protagonists is way more profitable than being a decent human being.*
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**"Ding Dong! Host has successfully bamboozled the clueless Chosen One! +500 Villain Points!"**
Qin Feng grinned like a raccoon who'd just stolen a whole wheel of cheese as he pocketed 800 spirit stones. True to his word, he "generously" lent the mysterious little cauldron to his younger brother Qin Hao—with plans to snatch it back the moment the kid activated its powers.
Meanwhile, Qin Hao was practically doing cartwheels. *"Big Bro spent 88 stones, and I only spent 8! Suck it, sibling rivalry!"*
"Ah, the bliss of having a moronic little brother," Qin Feng sighed dramatically, side-eyeing his gleeful sibling. *"How does someone with my galaxy-brain IQ and Oscar-worthy acting chops end up as cannon fodder in this kid's hero arc? The universe clearly needs better writers."*
Across the room, Lin Xin'er—the pouty princess of Skyheart City—tried peeking at the cauldron. Qin Hao immediately clutched it to his chest like a toddler guarding candy.
"Who even *wants* your dumb pot?!" Xin'er stomped her foot, nose in the air. "Let's go, Lin San! Some people have the manners of a rabid squirrel!"
Lin San, the princess's long-suffering servant, shot Qin Feng a nervous glance. For days, the Qin heir had been tailing him through the market, buying every trinket he so much as glanced at. *"Is he…flirting with me?!"* Lin San shuddered, gripping his sword tighter. *"I signed up to be a servant, not a romance novel sidepiece!"*
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**Qin Clan Market – Where "Bargains" Come to Die**
The marketplace buzzed with gossip about Qin Feng's legendary shopping spree. Vendors gaped as the eight-year-old prodigy snatched up rare treasures with the precision of a magic-wielding bloodhound.
"Observe!" A bearded merchant held up a moldy herb. "Young Master Feng identified this 1,000-year-old Frost Lotus in seconds! Truly, he has **Emperor-tier talent**!"
Nearby, Qin Feng scowled at his latest haul—a pile of "meh" artifacts. *"Ding Dong! Host stole Chosen One's premium grass! +300 Villain Points!"*
*"Ding Dong! Host swiped Chosen One's discount pills! +300 Villain Points!"*
*"Ugh, where's the good stuff?!"* he grumbled. *"I need that sweet, sweet gacha dopamine!"*
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**When in Doubt, Harass the Protagonist**
For three days straight, Qin Feng dragged Lin San through the market like a kid chasing an ice cream truck. Lin San's sanity unraveled by the hour.
*"He's definitely plotting something!"* The servant lay awake at night, sword in hand. *"Maybe he'll drug my tea! Or worse…force me to attend one of his weird 'let's compare loot' parties!"*
Meanwhile, Qin Feng sulked in his room. *"15,000 Villain Points and one lousy spin… Lin San was way more fun to bully than my dumb brother."* He glared at Qin Hao, who'd barged in clutching a teddy bear.
"Gege, I had a nightmare!" The future hero sniffled. "Can I sleep here?"
*"Why's this walking plot armor so clingy?!"* Qin Feng facepalmed. *"And why's his stupid glowing 'Supreme Bone' so…stealable-looking?!"*
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**Gacha Gods, Take the Wheel!**
With a mental flourish, Qin Feng summoned the Villain System's lottery wheel. Prizes flickered past: **Celestial Tyrant Body! God-Slaying Spear! McDonald's Free Fries Coupon!**
**"Ding Dong! Congratulations on winning: [Heavenly Buddhist Technique – Great Cosmic Wyrm]!"**
**BOOM!**
Suddenly, Qin Feng stood in a void as a golden dragon the size of a Walmart parking lot dive-bombed into his soul. When he blinked back to reality, intricate dragon tattoos coiled around his arms.
*"Sweet! Now I can smack demons AND look like a tattoo parlor ad!"* He flexed, admiring his new bling. The technique even came with a built-in lie detector for sniffing out disguised monsters—perfect for his next scheme.
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**Meanwhile, in Cringe City…**
As the Qin and Lin families finalized their alliance, Lin San practically wept with relief. *"Goodbye, creepy shopping buddy! Hello, normal(ish) life!"*
"Farewell, Brother Lin!" Qin Feng waved mockingly. *"Thanks for the goodies. Don't forget to write!"*
Lin San sprinted away like his pants were on fire.
That night, Qin Feng stared at his ceiling. *"Being evil's fun and all…but where's my epic betrayal scene? My tragic backstory? My—"*
"Gege! Your feet are warm!" Qin Hao mumbled, drooling on his pillow.
*"...I'll settle for selling this brat's bones on eBay,"* the villain grumbled, drifting into dreams of chaos, cash, and way more competent sidekicks.
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**Next Time:** Qin Feng invents MLMs! Qin Hao joins a cult! Somebody please get these kids a therapist!