Chapter 368: A Minor Incident
Before Ernst heads to Trieste, he has plenty of matters to handle and many people to bid farewell—this includes Prince Karl of Sigmaringen, Prince Leopold, the Prussian royal family, the Württemberg royal family... so it's not as simple as leaving at will; there's still much to finish before going.
Half a year ago.
Far East. Japan.
"Mr. Harano Morishita, your monkeys really do look quite unique, especially with their short-and-stocky build. Among all monkeys, they seem especially stout—this matches Darwin's theory of evolution perfectly. I'm curious how the Japanese environment fosters monkeys that actually enjoy hot springs. I'd really like to learn about that."
"Um, Mr. Rosens—Darwin is...?"
"He's a European biologist."
"Oh, I see. A scientist?"
"Yes, a great British biologist with considerable authority in academic circles. I used to doubt Darwin, but after coming to Japan, I realize he's correct. I've never seen monkeys anywhere else that soak in hot springs."
Harano Morishita felt this sounded a bit like an insult, but since Rosens' English accent had that distinctly "European" ring to it, Harano Morishita, clueless, didn't notice the slightly German-like accent. He thought him purely British and so bowed and scraped accordingly:
"Ah, Rosens-san, you British truly are the greatest nation in the world."
Rosens laughed uproariously:
"Hahaha! Not at all—there are bigger, more refined places like Germany and France. But if you want to know how we British conquered the world, let me tell you: we didn't rely on culture alone."
"Oh? Then how did you do it?"
"By controlling the oceans—look at history. Over the past few centuries, any country that becomes a global superpower relies on sea supremacy, be it Portugal, Spain, or the Netherlands."
"Understood! Our Japan also wants to learn from Britain!" Harano Morishita exclaimed. Deep down, he was thinking: We'll definitely build large battleships so we can replace them in the future.
Rosens:
"Indeed, fixating on culture doesn't mean much. We British soared to the top through raw force; see how that refined, literary France got toyed with by Britain, letting slip its golden opportunity. So, for any nation that tries stirring up trouble or opposing a country's major policies—like rebellious factory workers or peasants—it's best to crush them. That way, they won't waste society's resources."
As a big landowner, Harano Morishita totally agreed:
"Yes, yes! Recently, peasant uprisings in our rural areas are so ignorant. They can't spare a thought for how tight the government's budget is. Even I have to wear plain clothes and only have three dishes plus a soup daily, yet they still revolt like ungrateful beasts, even less civil than monkeys. We must firmly suppress them. Only if Japan becomes strong will they have a bright future."
Rosens:
"All right, let's skip that. Harano Morishita, can you round up some Japanese folks—men and women? I'd like to show the world your local customs."
"Certainly! No problem!" Harano Morishita was thrilled. A British journalist come to "spread the word" about Japan! He wanted to make a good impression for his country.
A short while later, who knows where Harano Morishita found the people, but all of them were quite short—most in the 1.3–1.5 meter range. Considering Morishita himself was only about 1.63, Rosens thought it rather fitting. Combined with four people even shorter than Morishita, it formed quite a sight.
"Mr. Harano Morishita, could you find me a monkey and shake its hand? We need a shot showing how the Japanese live in harmony with nature."
"Of course, Rosens-san!" Morishita got excited, thinking this was his big moment to show the Japanese people's civility.
Before long, a female monkey was caught and brought forward. Harano Morishita led it near a hot spring and, at Rosens' direction, grabbed its paw, posing as if shaking hands. The creature was about half a meter high, and since Morishita was a short man himself—and behind them stood four even tinier folks—it somehow looked normal.
"Mr. Harano Morishita, don't be so stiff; smile."
Morishita, in line with bushido, habitually wore a stony face. The only time he forced a grin was before "Britons" like Rosens—but even then, it was a most unnatural, forced smile.
But Morishita obliged. His grin looked more terrifying than anything, whereas the female monkey, perhaps frightened, bared its teeth. Click! The camera shutter flashed, capturing the scene.
"Well done, Mr. Harano Morishita! I bet folks in London will love your kind, 'gentle warrior' image."
"Thank you, Rosens-san, for traveling such a distance to publicize Japan's image abroad," Morishita responded.
Rosens:
"Don't mention it—just my duty. Long live British-Japanese friendship!"
"Yes, well said, Rosens-san. Actually, about that machine, the camera—might I have a closer look?"
"That won't be possible, Mr. Morishita. The camera is company property, quite valuable, so we can't just lend it out."
"I see... but you said you'd produce a photograph?"
"We can't develop it here, so only once I return to London. Sorry about that."
Morishita was disappointed not to see it right away, so he asked:
"Rosens-san, which paper do you work for? I have a friend heading to Britain soon on official business, so I'd like to ask him to bring me a copy."
Rosens wore a slightly odd expression but replied:
"Certainly, our paper has big influence in Britain. It's called The Sun, available in cities across the country."
"Wonderful. Thanks again," Morishita said.
The Sun was financed by Hechingen Bank. In London it was widely denounced as unseemly, clashing with stodgy British norms; ironically, that only boosted its circulation to first place in the city. In 1871, conservative London society frowned on it publicly, so demand soared privately.
A few months later
Morishita did indeed get a friend to bring him an English newspaper from London. Upon discovering that The Sun was a borderline scandal sheet, Morishita nearly passed out in rage.
"Bah—baka-rō...!"
He'd unwittingly become the butt of an international prank. Over the next few years, word spread quietly among certain circles, humiliating Morishita so badly that he died in misery. His final words to his grandson were:
"One day... you must kill more Brits..."
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