I didn't exactly sleep well last night, I was up almost all night with this… problem I have down below. This was the first time I ever had this issue. I mean, the only woman I ever know is Zenith and Lilia. Roxy is there too, but I don't consider her a woman. Of course I never feel a thing with Zenith because she's my mother in this world, I'm not a degenerate. With Lilia… I guess she's the only woman I would consider…
Anyway, I never thought I would have these desires. I thought I was over and done with in my past life. I guess having this body is messing up my hormones.
But at five years old?
I should ignore these feelings for now. It shouldn't have happened, I was playing around.
It was a bit different when I woke up since Lilia wakes up before me, she prepares breakfast. So when I came downstairs, once she saw me, She blushed and looks away while saying good morning to me. That's something when a girl who likes you does.
God… don't tell me she's into kids. That would be bad and ruin my image of her. Hopefully, it'll pass and we can go back to being normal. She's just probably happy about it, nothing else.
Now, was the day of my graduation. Roxy said we needed to go outside the village, just far enough away. So we hopped on Paul's horse and rode off. I've actually never been outside before. Not because I was scared, but because there wasn't a reason to. As we left my house and rode through the village, I realized how calm and homie it feels. We met many of the villagers along the way, they were pretty friendly, hardworking too, not much else. It seems Roxy has helped them with watering the crops, so the villagers are much happier with her.
We made it out to an open grass field, with only a single tree in sight. We stopped by said tree and hopped off the horse.
"This is where we'll do your graduation, your final test." Roxy said.
"Why do we have to do it here? Is the spell big enough to destroy an entire village?" I asked
"Yes." She said without hesitation.
Now I was starting to feel quite nervous, but excited at the same time.
"What I'm about to show is called 'Cumulonimbus', it's a Saint Level Water Spell. I want you to memorize the chants I will say, then you will repeat when it's your turn."
She then began to chant before waving her staff. Once she was done, a big hurricane appeared and heavy rainfall. It was a raging storm, blowing hard winds. It was enough to blow me away literally, luckily I managed to catch Roxy's legs and hold on to dear life. Then suddenly, lightning struck the horse. Roxy ceases her waving, looking back at the very injured horse. Then the storm began to slowly fade away.
"Roxy! Quick, use healing magic on it!" I shouted.
"R-right!" Roxy quickly rushed over to the horse and performed a healing spell on it. Once she was done, the horse slowly got up, still twitching from any leftover pain and is likely more tense from loud noise.
Roxy sighs in relief, "please keep this a secret from you parents, especially your father."
I nodded in response, Paul did love that horse. He would be pretty angry if something were to happen to it.
Once we collected ourselves, Roxy instructed me to copy her spell and see if I could hold it for an hour.
"Alright." I walked away from the tree where Roxy used an earth dome to surround herself and the horse just in case lighting hits.
I pulled out my wand, I then focused on the spell Roxy said.
How the hell should I hold it for an hour? Seems to me you cast the spell and it should stay there. Unless it's only a few seconds or minutes. Then… does it have something to do with putting in a lot of magical power into it? I got plenty of mana within me, maybe if I focus all of my mana into the spell, it should hold for a while… I think. I should probably not use all of my mana, just enough to create a good storm.
So I started chanting the spell, focusing all my magic into one point. The storm began to form, dark clouds circling around the 'mana point' I called it. The clouds began to grow bigger… and bigger…and bigger…and bigger.
Is this enough to last an hour? I should put in a bit more in, but not too much, otherwise I'll faint from mana exhaustion.
So I continued putting mana in, causing the clouds to be even bigger. Then rain came in, heavy rain… very heavy rain. Winds were picking up, very strong winds. So strong that it tore up layers of the surrounding grass, leaving wet dirt in its place. I believe even the lone tree Roxy was under, began to lose its leaves and branches were flying. It was starting to look like a dead tree.
The rain was a lot, practically waterfalls were dropping. I was drenched in cold water, while mud was blowing on my face.
I was a mess.
I think this is enough! I basically started a giant hurricane.
The wind felt like the full force of a jet thruster that I could barely stand.
Roxy slightly opened her dome to peek outside and was shocked to see what had happened.
"Rudeus! What's going on?! What did you do?!" She shouted.
"I… don't… know." The winds are beginning to be too much.
I don't know if I could hold it.
Then, I lost my balance. I flew back to the tree and hit Roxy's earth dome.
"Rudeus!", she opened her dome just enough for her to grab me and closed the dome shut for good.
"I got you!" She held me close, cradling my head.
Ugh… I have a headache now. Maybe I did use too much.
"Rudeus…you're bleeding?!" She yelled, showing me blood on her hands.
Oh… well, I think I hit my head when I smashed into the dome here. Must've cracked my head open.
I can feel myself fading away, everything feels quiet. As blackness started to overcome my vision, the last thing I saw was Roxy's crying face.
"You need to be careful next time, Shi-chan." Said a woman's voice.
"It's not like it was my fault, the guy didn't see where I was going. Now the car is busted."
A woman was by the sink, cutting up vegetables while I was sitting in a chair by our small little table.
"You were lucky that it was all he did. It was good that he pulled the brakes before he could've done some serious damage.
I let out a huff, "I suppose."
"But you should have paid attention too, you were just as guilty. Trying to run a red light." She continued cutting vegetables.
"Hey, it was green when I pulled up. It just switched quickly, I didn't see it."
She ceased cutting, "like I said, should've paid attention. " She turned to face me. "You should know that you have one life, Shi-chan. You need to be more aware of everything. Because every small action can have big consequences."
I sighed, "you're right Re-chan, I'm sorry."
She began to rub her stomach, "you wouldn't want to leave us alone… would you?"
I opened my eyes slowly.
That was a memory I wish I hadn't seen.
Once my vision was cleared, I realized I was laying in Lilia's bed. I turned my head, to only see the maid herself sitting in a chair next to me, with her eyes closed.
She must be napping, how long has she been there?
I slowly sat up, once I did, I noticed how dark it was by the window.
Must be night time.
I looked over Lilia once more, she was beginning to open her eyes. Once the drowsiness began to clear, she saw that I was sitting up.
"Rudeus…" she started to tear up. Then out of nowhere, she embraced me.
"I'm so glad that you're up. I was worried that you'll never open your eyes." Her hold on me was getting tight.
To have been woken up and to be hugged by a big breasted beauty with my face in her chest is a dream come true.
It's not my dream though.
"Lilia… I can't breathe." I struggled to say, tapping her shoulder.
She pulled away, "I'm sorry Rudeus. I-I was just so relieved that you are awake." She wiped her tears away with her hand. She stood up from the bed, "I must tell Lady Zenith and Master Paul. They will be ecstatic that you have opened your eyes.
I reached out my hand to grab her, "wait don't do that. It's late, they are probably asleep."
"I'm sure they are, but I must wake them. They have been in so much distress since-"
I tried pulling her to me with what little strength I have. "Please Lilia, I still feel weak at the moment. We can do that tomorrow when everyone has their full night's rest." I pleaded with puppy dog eyes. "And I don't want you to leave me."
Lilia thought for a moment before sitting back down on the bed where she was next to me. "Very well Rudeus." She gently rubbed my head.
"So, how did I get here?"
Lilia was hesitant to say something before opening her mouth, "Roxy brought you back to the house, once we saw you in that state, Master Paul grabbed you from Roxy. They tried to wake you, but you wouldn't open your eyes. Roxy said you hit your head hard and started to bleed a lot."
I rubbed the back of my head, "couldn't she have healed me?"
"She did, but something happened in the middle of it and you already lost a lot of blood."
Really? A head wound can do so much? What happened while she was healing me?
"Master Paul brought you to my room since it was the closest to the ground floor, and I could watch you."
That explains why I'm here.
"How's Roxy? Is she okay?" I asked.
Lilia went quiet for a bit, "she is well but…"
"What happened, did she get injured too?"
She shook her head, "No Rudeus."
"Is she in her room? I should apologize tomorrow about what happened earlier."
Lilia gave a gloom look, "Lady Roxy is no longer here."
I was confused, "w-why?"
"Rudeus… she was the one that caused your injury and brought in the storm."
The storm? The storm I created?
"What do you mean?"
Lilia let out a breath before beginning to speak, "a storm appeared here in the village, it caused devastation in its wake. Luckily, our house pulled through. But others weren't so lucky. Some of the crops were destroyed, the other villagers lost their homes, and many have… lost their lives."
Oh shit…
"B-but, what did this have to do with Roxy?"
She didn't bring the storm, I did.
She rubbed my head gently, "you must've hit your head really hard. When the storm finally cleared, she brought you back here on horse. When your parents asked what happened, she explained how she cast a giant spell to show you. She let it out of control and it's what caused your injury and the destruction."
She must've done that to cover for me.
"Once she was done explaining, Lady Zenith demanded she leave and never come back. Since she trained you, as a favor, they won't tell the other villagers how the storm came to be. If they did, I'm sure everyone would want her dead. So many have lost their loved ones."
I can't believe that the storm I created caused so much devastation and death.
I killed people.
I place my hands on my face, trying to think.
"Rudeus, are you alright?" She looked at me worriedly.
I killed people. I know I said I wouldn't care about other people… but this was not what I meant. I… don't know what to think or say. Roxy covered for me, if I would to admit that I was the one that did it… people would want me killed instead. Paul and Zenith would be horrified that their son had done this.
Lilia would probably fear me.
I hugged Lilia without warning."R-rudeus?"
No, I'm over thinking. It was an accident, it really was. If I admit it, they would understand… right?
"I just… can't believe it happened. Roxy only wanted me to see it so I could do it myself. I didn't think she would lose control of it."
I can't take that chance. I'm sorry Roxy, I can't.
"I'm glad that you are okay and… mom and dad."
Lilia was shocked to hear those words. Mom and dad… the two words I never said in this lifetime.
She proceeded to hug me back, "that's… right, your mom and dad are okay. I am fine as well. I'm just so glad that you… you are…."
She couldn't hold back her tears, "I was so worried. I had fears that you would never wake up. To never be able to hold you like this." She continued crying. "I'm so glad, I'm glad you are okay."
We stayed holding each other before we finally laid in bed. I asked Lilia that I was tired and wanted to sleep. I asked if we could sleep together, she happily agreed.
We laid together, holding each other closely. Lilia kissed my head once more before slowly going to sleep.
But I couldn't, just the thought that a huge hurricane I created caused so much destruction and death. I must've taken the lives of husbands, wives… children. That would keep anyone up all night. Yet, I don't know what to feel. It's not like I was disgusted nor did I enjoy it. I just didn't like it. I don't know how to put it into words.
But I can't let anyone know that I did it. Since Roxy is gone, no one will find out. Since it's only the Greyrat household that thinks they know. The villagers will continue to think it was a random storm, they'll never fully have closure about the deaths of their loved ones.
I continued hugging Lilia, feeling her warmth. She smells good like always and feels nice. This is what could relax me, it managed to clear my head somewhat..
For a little.
The thought of what I've done continued to fester in my mind. Lilia's comfort could only do so much.
So I laid, thinking about what I could've done to avoid it, what I could have done to help the people that have lost a lot.
Until I realized, there was nothing I could do now. It's in the past now, one small action leads to a bigger consequence. I have to try to get past it.
But how can you get past this?