"So let me get this straight," Andy Robertson said, a look of profound, almost beautiful, confusion on his face. "Barcelona sells their best player for a mountain of money, which they then use to buy their biggest rival's best player? That's not a transfer strategy; that's a declaration of war."
"It is a fascinating example of market disruption," Trent Alexander-Arnold chimed in, with the serious, analytical tone of a seasoned economist.
"They've simultaneously weakened a European rival and strengthened themselves, all without spending a single euro of their own money. It's... brilliant. And terrifying."
Then, from the corner of the room, the voice of their resident philosopher, a man who saw the world in a beautiful, chaotic, and slightly different way, cut through the tactical analysis.
"Okay, so," Julián Álvarez began, holding up a single, contemplative banana.
