Men have always been creatures full of childlike wonder. Things that might seem too childish for kids are just right for adult guys.
Take, for example, the KFC collab Psyduck toy, or... the rocking ride right in front of Haru.
Once people hit a certain age, they start getting nostalgic, and there's nothing wrong with embracing a bit of silliness.
Haru wasn't afraid of anyone laughing at him for it.
And hey, this thing called the Paldea Delta was something city slickers couldn't even dream of affording.
Only Haru had the privilege of riding this Liko-brand rocking car.
Unlike regular rocking rides that run on electricity, the one in front of Haru was powered by 'oil,' just like a real 'car.'
Plus, maybe because its overall design was so flawlessly sleek, with hardly any protrusions or bumps, its drag coefficient was incredibly low—probably under 0.45—evoking thoughts of some hot-shot 'popular model' sports car.
Though Haru was totally hooked on this rocking ride, before he could officially start driving it, he figured he should have a friendly 'negotiation' with the car girl, Miss Cynthia.
Miss Cynthia fully got Haru's passion for that rocking ride, so she decided to personally help him 'warm it up,' firing up the vibe for his 'new car pickup.'
Unlike the oil-powered rocking ride, Cynthia's drag coefficient wasn't quite as perfect, especially around the steering wheel and gear shift areas.
To handle Cynthia properly, Haru had to keep shifting those two gear levers nonstop.
Notably, while the Liko rocking ride led the pack in drag coefficient, it fell a bit short in comfort compared to Cynthia.
With Cynthia, Haru could enjoy all sorts of unique sensations.
As for Cynthia herself...
And even though Cynthia had just shown her dominant side on the Liko rocking ride, when it came to Haru, she surprisingly...
Well, anyway, Haru thought this Sinnoh champion's hair-as-steering-wheel felt pretty damn good.
But maybe because the rocking ride was all prepped and ready, only for Haru to turn and negotiate with the car girl instead, it left the ride feeling a tad neglected.
As Haru shifted into missionary mode, Liko—who'd been playing the passive role up to that point—suddenly sounded the horn for a counterattack.
She whipped off her blindfold and, while Haru was busy gripping Cynthia's steering wheel, slapped her hand over Cynthia's eyes.
"What are you doing?!"
Miss Cynthia, who had been gradually sinking into bliss under Haru's big hands, snapped alert in an instant.
She wanted to strike back right away, but with her body fully restrained and Haru's fuel line already brushing against the fill port, she couldn't mount a successful defense.
"W-wait... hold on, at least let me take off the blindfold first."
Cynthia tried to say more, but as the refueling kicked off for real, her words melted into nothing but gasps.
On top of that, Liko—who knows where she got them—pulled out some cheerleading props to hype up the refueling, going wild as she cheered Haru on.
She refueled while staring wide-eyed, intently watching the two of them.
Talk about turning into a full-on Kanto cheer squad.
Actually, Liko had the chance right then to remove her collar and slap it on Cynthia along with the blindfold.
But for some reason, she didn't go that route.
Instead, she just kept cheering as she stood up, looking down at the flushed girl right in front of her, and asked in a teasing tone:
"Can you even tell who's touching you now, Miss Cynthia?"
"Don't touch me! Ah~ You'll regret this, Liko…"
Cynthia's words carried the weight of a champion's authority, but the problem was, did she look anything like a champion right now?
What difference was there between the current Cynthia and someone who'd completely fallen to her feminine desires?!
Even though Haru hadn't battled Cynthia in Pokémon yet, from the moment this 'match' began and Cynthia tasted that popsicle, she'd already lost.
"Ha! Quite the tough attitude, Sinnoh Champion."
"Then let the show I've prepared for you begin!"
With that, Liko reached straight for the Thunderbolt, intent on taking full control of it.
Of course, it was Cynthia's Thunderbolt.
If it were her own, it'd probably just count as a Geodude, not a proper Thunderbolt.
And Haru had no intention of stopping her; instead, he synced up with Liko by reaching for Cynthia's other Thunderbolt and starting to work it over.
Now things were really heating up—the gear shifts and handbrake were both under control, leaving Cynthia totally at their mercy.
Not only that, but Liko and Haru showed off some top-tier driving skills in the process, pumping in the hot oil faster and faster until they finally just grabbed hold of the two steering wheels and held on tight...
But interestingly, Miss Cynthia didn't seem to resist too much.
Sure, she put up a front of fighting back against Liko, but that was only toward Liko.
Once the blindfold was forced on her and she couldn't tell who was around, she relaxed completely.
By the end, she was even doing the splits on Haru, locked in this hilariously twisted 'battle' pose, begging him to plant more 'strawberries' while asking for a few smacks on her ass.
Gotta say, this Sinnoh Champion's flexibility was way better than Haru had imagined.
The only thing that still got a reaction out of Cynthia was her 'Sinnoh Champion' title—every time Haru or Liko brought it up, her body would start trembling slightly.
It was like she was trying to protest that way, clinging to the scraps of 'dignity' that were almost totally gone.
And the result? Haru and Liko doubled down even harder.
They knew full well it would rile her up, so they kept repeating the champion bit, like they were hammering home that Cynthia had fallen to her desires as a champion...
"Mm... this is pretty fascinating."
Liko watched Cynthia slump limply into Haru's arms and fell into thought.
They say people with sadistic tendencies often have masochistic ones too—is this what that's like?
She herself didn't have either tendency; she just liked pleasing Haru, so she was fine with all sorts of play styles.
But Cynthia...
Interesting, really interesting. Could it be that the stronger the 'career woman' type, the more likely they are to hide something like this?
After all, Lusamine was that type too.
Liko felt like she'd uncovered something huge.
But she didn't have much time left to ponder.
With the champion defeated, Haru's childlike whimsy kicked in, and he immediately turned his sights on the rocking ride.
A single rocking ride wasn't enough to get him going anymore, so Haru just stacked the rocking ride on top of the car girl for a double-layer summon.
And he himself took the wheel of this two-tier private vehicle.
The car had two fuel ports, and with the extra layer, the driving speed wasn't fast, but the rocking ride's 'rocking' motion was still spot on.
"Please... passengers, hold on to the handrails—watch out for shaking."
"Feel free to top off the fuel; even if it overflows a bit, that's fine."
"This vehicle's fully insured, so no worries about big rig sending the little one flying."
The in-car broadcast announced.
So... which one to pick?
Haru looked at the ropes up top and the blonde hair down below, sinking into thought.
Screw it, why overthink? Just get this pin-run slow jog started already.
Even after that intense battle earlier, with his Majin Buu-level recovery powers, Haru was battle-ready again in no time.
Fight!
—
Meanwhile, the thief sisters were still putting on their two-person, loveless version of Roman Holiday.
Hmm, maybe calling it 'Hoenn Unlimited Grudge Match 2.0' fits better.
This time, it definitely wasn't civilians and military mixing it up, but at least there was plenty of 'mixing it up.'
So, the sisters' only shot now was to escape before making official contact with those guys.
"What do we do? Looks like we can't shake 'em?"
Human limits are real, and as the distance to the pursuers closed, the thief sisters finally started to panic.
They still had no clue why these people were hounding them or what they'd do once they caught them, but instinct screamed that falling into their hands would end badly.
"Don't panic, Oakley."
"We just need to push another kilometer or so—I've got the car prepped."
"Escaping will be a breeze once we're there."
Compared to Oakley, Annie stayed way calmer.
And hearing Annie's words lit up Oakley's eyes, easing her nerves big time.
"You prepped ahead? Awesome!"
"Guess our efforts up front weren't all for nothing—just keep pushing forward now."
As she said it, both sisters' eyes sparked with hope for survival.
The 'car' they mentioned wasn't your average ride.
Pokémon world's tech tree is skewed— they've got fortress-like mega airships, but everyday civilian tech lags behind.
And the sisters' car was some airship-level black tech too.
Of course, it wasn't on the same level as those airships.
The latter were even used to catch the Legendary Birds and Lugia—their car was still a ways off.
Alto Mare, sliced up by countless canals, made normal vehicles useless here.
So their car could transform, switching to submersible or flight mode on the fly.
As long as they didn't run into speed demons like Dragonite, this thing could easily outpace any chasers.
If they wanted to get out alive, that car was their last hope.
And when they finally staggered to that one-kilometer mark, gasping for air, they spotted it.
But the problem was... their pursuers were right on their heels.
"Damn, those two are gonna bolt with a vehicle—stop 'em!"
"No choice now—launch the attack!"
Earlier, to avoid stirring up a fuss and calling in Officer Jenny, Team Rocket hadn't let their Pokémon use moves on the sisters, but with escape imminent, they couldn't hold back anymore.
For the Boss Giovanni, hit those two with Shadow Ball.
"Crap, they're attacking—start the vehicle, quick!"
The sisters scrambled onto the car, jammed in the key, and tried to peel out.
But... things were worse than they'd thought.
The key went in fine, but when they turned the ignition, it jammed.
As top-tier thieves, they always double-checked their gear before ops to avoid screw-ups that could lead to capture.
They'd inspected this car before, but who could've guessed it'd glitch out now.
Talk about overconfidence biting them.
"Hurry, hurry! They're almost here!"
Oakley's voice grew more frantic, laced with barely hidden terror.
She was scared—this time, she was really scared.
"I'm trying as hard as I can, but... but it won't budge!"
Annie was panicking too, twisting the key like mad, on the verge of tears.
And right as they were still wrestling with the key, Team Rocket's attacks finally rained down...
What does it look like when dozens of Pokémon unleash moves in an emergency?
No matter who these guys were or why, the moment the Pokémon fired off, it was a hell of a spectacle.
The sisters were about to break down—deep down, all they had left was despair.
Fuck, they didn't have a single Pokémon on them, facing a barrage like this—how were they supposed to hold out?
One volley and they'd be blasted to bits.
Too bad, stuck on that boat, they couldn't dodge what was basically a full-map AoE.
It wasn't just them—the Alto Mare locals who saw it all freaked out, screaming as they fled.
A few hot-blooded trainers wanted to help, but taking on that many Rocket grunts? No way.
Then it'd turn into a full-blown Hoenn 2.0 disaster, and not just for Oakley and Annie.
So, under their hopeless stares, the attacks slammed right into their car.
The hull exploded in seconds, flinging the sisters backward through the air.
Momentum carried them up until they smashed through a hotel room window overhead.
Both felt searing pain everywhere, but by some miracle, they were still alive.
They lifted their heads slightly, trying to figure out where they'd crash-landed.
And then...
They saw a guy holding two girls, currently savoring their blueberries—one berry each, all shoved into his mouth.
"..."
Looking at these uninvited guests, Haru let go of his mouthful, his face darkening ominously.
"I hate interruptions. You ready to end up being pregnant?"
His tone turned downright menacing as he said it.
"Eek—"
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