At this point, I am a bit clocked out of the conversation. Like a paycheck phantom just trying to get by the month without doing actual work, my brain can already tell this will be a useless conversation without any substance behind his sales pitch.
«Well, if he isn't gonna answer any actual questions about the downsides of being a Diver, at least I can figure out how to become a Diver.»
After putting the pamphlet into my right hand, I started to think about a question he would answer; however, the words just weren't wording in my brain, and I was stuck thinking longer than I wanted.
To show I was thinking and not just sitting awkwardly, I leaned on my right elbow on the armrest and brought my left hand to my chin, inquisitively brushing my chin.
«Damn, when was the last time I even shaved? I must look like a hot piece of- wait, shit, I just got sidetracked! I need to think of something; otherwise, he will swindle me on something.»
"Well, if I wanted- What do I need- I- uh, what the first step!"
Exclaiming it a bit louder than I wanted, as if finding gold in the beach and showing it off with a shout, I finally jumbled up a question that worked in this context, thus letting my volume become a bit unregulated.
"A little nervous there, champ? Don't worry; I have all the time in the world to answer your questions, so take as long as you need to ask! If you want, I have some water or snacks so you can get comfortable, and we can continue your questions while you eat?"
Feeling embarrassed that he noticed my slip up but thick-headed enough not to waste either of our time with food and water I didn't need right now, I just shook my head, indicating I didn't need it.
"No, no. If that's fine, just answer my question: What's the first step in the process?"
This time, after I said my question, instead of immediately answering as he had, he looked at me for a moment before he leaned forward again and replied.
"Well, Mister Verren, If you want to get the ball rolling and start getting prepared for your first Bath; there are a few necessary hoops and hurdles you must jump before you can start."
«Hopefully, nothing too bad, quick, and not involving a resource I don't have: money.»
"First things first, when it comes from transitioning from a civilian to experiencing your first Fate Bath, you're going to have to put in a quick online or in-person form - which, hey, you're here, I can provide to you the form now if you want - which is going to include a basic consent form for background checks and the likes and doesn't involve any upfront costs to you."
«Doesn't sound too bad, so far. It's pretty normal, considering all things so far...»
"Then, after your form is processed and approved, as long as you are not currently wanted or a felon, you should be approved; I can work with you to set up your DEP-EC assessment, otherwise known as the Diver Entry Program Evaluation."
"The DEP-EC is a full-spectrum assessment to determine your viability as a Diver; as you mentioned before, being a Diver does have some risk involved, and the government wants to lower the possible injury amount."
"The first part of the assessment is the physical; this will include a trip to a clinic that will check your health for any mishaps and any underlying diseases that will stop you from being healthy enough to take on the job, as it is a pretty physically draining lifestyle. You must also answer some true and false about past medical issues. It's not that bad, but it is the assessment's most tedious and time-consuming part."
"After you complete the physical, you will be put through a quick cognitive ability assessment. Being a Diver requires quick choices, pattern recognition, and situational awareness, so your cognitive test is usually where most people are filtered out. This assessment includes two parts: an hour-long test that tests your high school education skills, while the second one involves a trained professional testing your reaction speeds, situational awareness, and perception. Most people don't have an issue with the second test; it's the first one you want to watch out for, as anything below 40% is failing."
«Fuck me, a test...»
"Now, technically, there are two more parts, but only one you still need to do, as the fourth one is a background clearance, which was included in your application but will be looked over at the DEP-EC. The third one is a psychological stability exam. Now look, this lifestyle can be a bit mentally draining sometimes, so it is important for us to look for preconceived mental deficiencies and to determine if they are threatening enough to warrant being filtered out. However, you look fine, so you shouldn't worry too much about it, really!"
"Once you complete your DEP-EC, you either pass and move on to the next step or get filtered out."
So far, all this doesn't sound too bad, and it makes me a bit hopeful; as for all the problems I went through as a child, none of them involved the police, health problems, or mental issues, thank the lord. So, as far as I can see, I don't see any issues with this, and this part sounded like the biggest hurdle. Or at least until I hear the next part.
"So after you pay the $600 fee for the DEP-EC, you get onto the next step, which is the Pre-bat-"
I stopped him there.
"WAIT! Wait, did you just say a $600 fee!?"
He stopped and looked at me as if he wasn't trying to tip-toe around the fee like a catholic priest trying to downplay the number of kids he touched, like the amount is the issue and not that he did it at all.
"Oh..."
"Yes" I prompted.
"Yes, there is a $600 fee for completing the DEP-EC assessment. That covers the tests, paperwork, processing, and administrative overhead. Is that going to be a problem, Mister Verren?"
«Do I have an issue with that? Of course, I have an issue with that. Why else do you think I'm sitting here, entertaining magical death trials as a career path? Only the financially desperate would even consider this!»
I stared at him like he'd grown a third head.
"Yes. Yes, sir, I have an issue with that," I said, not bothering to soften my tone. "I came here because I don't have $600 lying around. I'm not trying to pay my way into a job—I'm here because I need a job."
The words left my mouth with more bite than intended, but that number just hit a nerve. Hard.
I just got shut down from another job opportunity that I had to pay to get into; I didn't like to hear I had to pay for this one as well, even if it was dramatically less money.
He didn't flinch. In fact, he smiled—a slow, sly, practiced smile that made my gut twist a little.
"I understand, Mister Verren," he said smoothly. "You're not alone. Many of the best candidates start exactly where you are—motivated, capable, and financially challenged. Hey, not kicking you down, I grew up broke as well from where I came from. That's precisely why the government offers an alternate route."
He leaned forward slightly, voice softening like he was letting me in on a secret.
"For special select applicants, like you, Mister Verren, we offer a government-backed waiver program. No DEP-EC fee. No Pre-Bath Training cost. In fact, if you qualify, you'll even receive a signing bonus. And once you complete your first Bath successfully—congratulations, you're automatically employed as a government Diver. Stable pay. Housing benefits. Long-term security."
He paused, gauging my reaction before continuing.
"If you're interested, we can talk more after I finish walking you through the Diver pipeline. Who knows? You could leave here today with your name on the list and a direct deposit headed your way by the end of the week."
"..."
«That sounds great for my situation. Too good. What the fuck is the catch in that? There has to be some catch. Anit no free lunch in this world.»
"What does the contract do, though? I mean, what's the drawback?"
His smile became even broader as if looking at me like a caught fish.
"There isn't much of a drawback at all, in all honesty. The only thing is that it restricts you from entering a Diver contract with a private company. You will automatically join in as a Diver employed by the government, of which most Divers are already, so I wouldn't worry much about it! Plus, it's only for a year anyway!"
«That must be the kicker; it's like an exclusivity contract for new divers. I'll need to do more research on this before signing anything today - and plus, it's just plain dumb to sign anything on the first day.»
Instead of showing my hesitancy on my face, I covered it up with a forced smile and a solid nod of my head, revealing my understanding and acting as if I were hook-line-and-sinker.
"That sounds incredible for my situation! I will definitely want to learn more about that at a later date. For now, however, I want to learn more about the rest of the Diver Entry Program pipeline."
Mister Glazer, the recruiter, nodded approvingly, very clearly pleased with my previous eager response to this "solution."
"Great to hear that, Mister Verren! Then, let's finish talking about the steps so you can get out of here and think long and hard about your different choices. Now, back to the Pre-Bath Training course. This will be mostly prep classes and cool supervised simulations to ensure you don't walk into your first Fate Bath with your pants down. It'll be intensive for someone who isn't usually active, but it'll keep you safe in the long run! You'll be supported the whole way through!"
"However, I do have to warn you, besides the mandatory two-week training that teaches the basics, you can pay an extra hundred or two hundred bucks to get a more advanced class that will prepare you better for the Fate Bath. However, if you can't pay that, remember that the waiver will also include that, so you wouldn't have to worry about that."
«Two weeks? Can I last that long? I mean, that's really going to be tuff; Im more desperate than a side-street hooker for money; I don't know if I can last another month without some money. I may need that bonus from the wavier, but still, I'll do a bit of due diligence before I go into it.»
I nod, indicating I understand, and he continues to speak.
"After your two-week mandatory classes, your home stretch homie! Once you show proof of completing your classes, you'll sign a First Trial Liability Contract, which you will learn more about later, and you'll get assigned a Fate Bath."
"It will take about a week after your classes at the earliest to actually begin your first trial, as they have to find a suitable portal, classify it, process it, and plus it may be miles from the city. However, the transportation to the site will be covered, so don't worry!"
«So, about one month till I can make money from this? This may be my choice to secure future money, but I will probably still have to search for a part-time job between now and my first portal. I've lived with less money for longer times, so I'll figure it out. Probably...»
After he finished talking about the DEP process, I stood up from my seat, showing I was going to start leaving.
"Okay, sir, thank you for all that information on the process, I have a lot to think about now. I will definitely keep in contact with you. Maybe - can I have a phone number to contact you with?"
He stands up with a confused look on his face.
"Leaving so soon, Mister Verren? You just got here?"
Internally, when he said that, I felt bad and like I rushed to leave too fast, but that feeling quickly washed away with his following statement.
His confused look disappeared and instead was replaced with his signature practiced smile, and he tilted his head to the side, raising his hand out for a handshake.
"Naaaaahhhh, I'm just messing with you, champ! I am sure you're busy; I won't keep you longer than you want. Also, let me get you my business card, and you can contact me from there!"
I reached out to shake his hand, and he proceeded to crush my hand while giving me an handshake.
Ouch.
"You got a great strong grip on ya, son! You'll do great as a Diver! I promise!"
Cue my forced chuckle.
He hands me his business card shortly after, and I walk away.
I expected him to stay in his office, but he started walking me to the entrance.
As I opened the door to the entrance and was about to leave, I looked back at him, waved him away, and thanked him for his assistance, however much it was.
"Thank you again, I'll be in contact."
"No problem! No problem! Come by at any time! Call me if you're ready to start the paperwork - we'll get you fast-tracked!"
I nodded again, exited, and stepped out into the cool air.
«Okay… I'm definitely not signing anything until I do more research. But at least now I know what I'm dealing with.»
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