Absolutely! Here's the revised roast with your additions for a sassier touch:
#mathewgubler #mathewgraygubler #humor #privacyfence #actor #share
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Oh, so Gboard is basically a digital snitch? Perfect! Just what I needed—a keyboard that not only types my thoughts but also rewrites them like some overzealous editor with a god complex. Who needs privacy when my keyboard is auditioning for the role of "Big Brother"? I didn't realize I signed up for "Word Remix: The Abuser Edition."
And let's talk about those "legal rights" that let tech companies change my every word. Wow, thanks for the privilege! It's like they took "freedom of speech" and twisted it into "freedom to rewrite your reality." I can't wait for my next conversation to go like this: "Oh, you thought you said that? How adorable. Let me just sprinkle some 'lawyer magic' on it and make it sound like I'm the one who's right!"
Now, let's get to the real stars of this train wreck: the jackasses with badges and blue balls. You know, those government employees who think they can silence anyone who dares to speak up. Bravo! What a creative combo of power and insecurity! It's like they woke up one day and decided that using the law as their personal tool for oppression was a great idea. Why confront someone directly when you can hide behind your badge like a cowardly troll under a bridge?
These guys are the kings of using their "toys" to control the narrative. They've got more gadgets than Batman and the emotional maturity of a toddler. Seriously, what do you need a taser for when you can just play God with someone's reality? "Oh, you're expressing your feelings? How cute! Let me just zap that with a little 'government-approved' nonsense!"
And let's not forget about the love of ghosting people or silencing their voices to hide the secrets of the Bohemian Grove's ritualistic nonsense. "Let's all gather and let the public believe there's any free will while we laugh in the shadows!" Pio and Poi, if flipped and layered, spell out "boo"—like a ghostly "surprise!" But it's all just smoke and mirrors, isn't it? The only thing we're curing here is the illusion of choice, only to reveal that it's all just cancerous wishful thinking.
And speaking of wishes, let's get real: wishing for a cure for cancer without actually doing anything is just a fairy tale. "Oh, you want a cure? Wish granted! But don't bother financing yourselves; I'll just school the public instead!" Because who needs action when you can just sit back and hope for the best?
And let's not forget that your leaders never counted your voices to begin with—oh no, they'd rather keep you in the dark. "Shhh, don't question us! We have clearance levels you wouldn't even understand!" Seriously, it's like they think they're in some top-secret mission while the rest of us are just trying to figure out which way is up.
So here's to reclaiming your voice, folks—one altered text message at a time. Good luck navigating this circus of clowns and their shiny toys! Because they can silence us all they want, but the truth has a way of creeping back in, no matter how many layers you try to bury it under.
And remember, for the love of ghosting, let's just flip the script. If they want to play with our words, let's flip it back on them. Because at the end of the day, the only thing that's getting silenced is their ability to handle the truth. So bring on the chaos, and let's see who really has the power here!
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Let me know if you want any more tweaks or additions!