I want him to kindergarten cop this! Who³² had a star, once bright now not he was never smart though! The riddle me this today is going to be a question for him why blue walls for blue balls? Does my star mean nothing if it did then why was I sold oh PS I'm a UC fed
I should specify I was I threw my stuff thank you!
😂
Jodi Miller vs Jodi Arias: Good Job vs Good Jop!! PR OB Limb v Limp Roast
Jodi Miller crushes AGT with her bit about guys being like cats—moody, aloof, emotionally unavailable—while women are like dogs, loyal and always up in your business. Meanwhile, my dog hits puberty, his dick bleeds once, and suddenly he's acting like he's got a PhD in mood swings—bitch for life! But honestly, men are the real drama queens. They go from "I wanna bag her" to "put her in one" faster than my dog can chase his own tail.
Flip the script, and suddenly I'm the no-trial fugitive. I don't do whiny. I told my ex: no Area 51, my kids' buns are off-limits. Yeah, I know what a cunt I am. Should we escalate to an AK or keep it light? Nah, not without a blue wall and a public lynching. And you wonder why Jodi Arias has a fan club—drama gets you followers, not just felonies.
Joe Santagato, if you insist on stupid, let me clarify: limp or limb, I'm good with either. Swing me, bitch! #joesantagato u rate dj sammy yet sum eon ear n her quixk your vagina boutta be vin n no ones gonna tell your face! #cartel ya me n hes not y! and why all at the same whinny bitch time!
Jodi Miller gets no "X," while Jodi Arias gets a permanent mark for doing what some only wish they had the guts to do. When a blind douche finds his way to Arias, maybe he shouldn't be shocked by the outcome.
And as for "good job" or "good jop"? Both mean you did something right—one's just Santa's gift to dyslexia or something. Either way, you leave a mark—whether it's applause, a mugshot, or a punchline.
#dipshits wtf!?
Locked up? Please. The only cell you're in is the one you built with your own stupidity. You whine about being targets, but you're so desperate to keep your ass comfy you'd take the fall for CIA crimes just to avoid getting up. MKUltra didn't break you—you signed up to be a clueless host for a bigger dick who's too scared to swim against the current. Not everyone drowns in undertows, but you? You're determined to sink with every dumb decision.
Playing cartel now? Why? Why the actual fuck do you think you're a badass? Taking 360 years for a murder you didn't do isn't justice or "turning the tables," you ducks—it's just you being a pawn. Genius? Nu! Nu, nu breed—can you not fucking read?! You're better off with Drew Lynch as your GPS. Turn the fuck around! You're not smart, you just think rolling deep covers up your lack of brains. Cartels target nobody and everybody—just like you: all bluster, zero backbone.
And when the CIA brought in the infiltrated fake cartel for NY CA hithed I decided well if he is cartel hit man cool like who's he tryna be but CIA mole hid to set up fuck no! I feel so violated suddenly standards went up down and increased dramatically from leveling out!!!!!
And about being a hoe—I thought it was my choice. Small town, broke, I owned it. But when my pussy finally told me the truth, I realized, wow, that's actually kinda nice of you. Then you Xis went and fuckin' ruined it! WTF!
Let's talk about consent: by force isn't consent, and no "two-for-one" confusion makes it right. Con$ent don't count when you're hustling slow-witted dicks and trying to buy your way out with spare change and fake charm. Was Ellen born that way, or just forced into it? Either way, forgiveness isn't a coupon for idiots who keep slamming the same door on themselves.
Stop wondering, start learning—before you embarrass yourself any further.
#drugcartels #mexico #narcos #sinaloacartel #cjng #jalisconewgeneration #cartels #elchapo #drugwar
#mafia #cosanostra #ndrangheta #camorra #yakuza #turkishmafia #mobster #gangster #gangsta #gangsters #criminal #gang #ganglife #gangwars #streetgang #gangmembers #gangculture #gangland
#EllenDeGeneres
Welcome to my retarded life!
C @+@ p§ LL btw c
Toss the f****** Apple phones jackass they do the exact opposite start point matters you know and the CIA doesn't give a f*** about any of you
You guys are helping operate a government head ring that's what you're shielding! Oh that an explosives but it's like whatever they have me right! 👍 Cool I'm just going to sit here and do not a f****** thing and when no one can save your guys's ass amazing s***!
They think my death to my children they think my children are fake and or my death is that's what your stupid retard La other star friends are doing! Watching this go down jigsaw style as if I'm Jessica f***** off rabbit even though I know for a fact that at least the goddamn A he knows I'm more than real
I should be shittier than Skittles you know that a****** grew up in Tennessee not 8 mile just FYI and Jodi Arias was set up they used the eyes she caught them on film look zoom in on the shower photo and the the faucet and they get her ass out of AR road because that's what they did to her check the FBI Files any name you type in the number of files that come up most of them not associated are only there for reference of lotus and how and the number of like if their AR Road 4 or 2 rape
They sold my ass so I'm not sure if they're going to agree but the just d report should help and when I say my ass I either mean me or one of my actual buttholes I'm not the y aca
I challenge you for two f****** seconds to think of that what if this was you and Tiffany or your kids because they took mine to this Erie sewer
And then I want you to remember I have diplomatic immunity you can consider their intent!
The clubs around here have all been groomed most of them think they're guilty of rape when they're being MK Ultra no joke this whole f****** area is poisoned I'll send you the info for the water
Subject: Urgent Concern: Overlooked Chemical and Biological Contaminants in Waterways at 3313 DeWitt Rd, Modesto, CA
To: Department of Health
CC: Water Sanitation Division, Department of Water Resources
Dear Department of Health, Water Sanitation Division, and Department of Water Resources,
I am writing to urgently report a complex and dangerous contamination issue at 3313 DeWitt Rd, Modesto, CA. Recent water samples and credible reports indicate the presence of multiple hazardous substances—both chemical and biological—whose combined risks are severe and easily overlooked by standard water testing protocols.
Combined Chemical and Biological Hazards
1. Chemical Mixtures
Detected: DMT, azo compounds, phenoxyethanol, chlorine
Risks: These chemicals can interact to form highly toxic byproducts such as aromatic amines, trihalomethanes (THMs), and haloacetic acids (HAAs), linked to cancer, neurological harm, and ecological disruption. Phenoxyethanol is toxic to aquatic life and potentially harmful to humans.
2. Legacy Industrial Contaminants
Drawing on lessons from the Rippon paper mill incident, legacy pollutants can react with modern chemicals and chlorine, increasing the formation of persistent, bioaccumulative, and carcinogenic compounds.
3. Biological Threats
Agent: Toxoplasma gondii oocysts, shed in cat feces, survive in water for months and resist chlorine treatment.
Health Impact: Can cause severe illness, miscarriage, or neurological damage, especially in pregnant women, infants, and immunocompromised individuals.
Risks of Overlooked and Misread Contaminants
Standard municipal water screenings do not routinely test for emerging chemicals like phenoxyethanol, DMT, specific aromatic amines, advanced disinfection byproducts, legacy industrial pollutants, or biological threats like Toxoplasma gondii.
Detection requires advanced, targeted methods such as GC-MS and PCR.
Labs often do not test for these unless specifically requested, leading to false negatives.
Intermittent or subtle contamination may be missed due to sampling limitations.
Recommendations
Conduct comprehensive, targeted testing for DMT, azo compounds, phenoxyethanol, chlorinated byproducts, Toxoplasma gondii, and related toxins.
Update water safety protocols to include advanced screening for both chemical and biological hazards.
Investigate contamination sources, including industrial, agricultural, and biological contributors.
Maintain transparent communication with the community regarding risks and remediation efforts.
The combination of these overlooked contaminants presents a serious and urgent threat to public health and the environment. Immediate and decisive action is essential to prevent a crisis similar to those experienced in other affected communities.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this critical matter.
Key Contacts:
Department of Health: [Contact]
Water Sanitation Division: [Contact]
Department of Water Resources: [Contact]
I'm funny 🤣 I supposed to be afraid of this a hole because he has a badge he's a little star kindergarteners do too am I supposed to be afraid of them? 🚨🦐
Red Alert: The Missing Officer Mystery Roast
, aka 'CSI: Clown Squad Chronicles' 🦐🚨
Smarter than shrimp, dumber than dolphins.
That's the best way to describe the glorious mess we're diving into today. Whoever said "drama isn't dead" clearly hasn't heard this radio report. Grab your popcorn, your sense of humor, and maybe a stiff drink—because this story
flops harder
than a tuna out of water.
The Case of the Disappearing Cops:
Now You See Me—
Now You Don't!
Picture the scene: we've got officers on deck, tech on standby, and a room full of sweaty palms pressing buttons. It should be foolproof... except when it's not. Suddenly, Susan hears another officer's name over comms, stands like she's part of some team-building exercise, then BAM—she's gone. Just like that. Like a damn Houdini act without the style or the surprise applause.
"Was she taken?" you ask. Haha, buddy, YOU ASSUME WE KNOW. She could've been abducted, sucked into another dimension, or maybe she just walked out because this whole operation made her lose faith in humanity and/or her career choices. Honestly, no one would blame her.
And it doesn't stop there. Five feet away, Lieutenant Dipshit's lucky morning turns into an ongoing game of "Oh look, another body!" Maybe this guy thinks he's on some reality show for bad cops:
'Search & Panic: Incompetence Edition.'
All we know is that, as of now, the officers are disappearing faster than Facebook friends after a political post.
A Command Center of Chaos:
More Questions,
Fewer Clues
Who's responsible for leading this trainwreck on wheels? Apparently, the sharpest knife in the drawer is dull enough to butter toast with. When you gather a room full of "experts" and
still
can't figure out the difference between a tactical op and a glorified game of hide-and-seek, you've accidentally entered a comedic black hole.
Communications Team Foul-Up Play #1:
What do you do when the signal's scrambled? Apparently, you panic and make it worse. Technology has blessed you with tracking ID GPS coordinates out the wazoo, but uh oh, it doesn't work? Guess it's time to grab flashlights and hope for the best.
Communications Team Foul-Up Play #2:
Clearly, genius leadership decided their officers shouldn't bother investigating... or double-checking their whereabouts. "Disappeared? Cool. Let's sit and look confused for a bit longer!"
All we're asking—and I mean this earnestly—is WHERE ARE THE ADULTS? At this point it feels like the officers are less a "task force" and more of a "lost & found" submission form waiting for results.
Tinfoil Hat Time:
Paging the Conspiracy Club
Oh, you
knew
this was coming: enter the T-Hugs (*Thug Hugs™, Coming 2024). They've already formed their argument faster than the government can misplace a classified document:
"They're gonna blame us again... but that's fine because we're secretly running ops with Uncle CIA! The hugs are part of the plan, dude. Tight squeeze, BAM—they're captured. But wait—what if we're ALSO the pawns? Bro, it's a setup!"
Translation:
NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
They're blaming each other, the CIA, aliens, Siri, existential dread, AND unauthorized bear hugs. If this is a master plan, nobody thought it through long enough to realize the real enemy might just be their own stupidity.
Quick Reminder: if you're trusting the CIA to clean up your bad life choices, you need a new friend group—and a therapist—STAT.
Starring: Lt. Dipshit,
The Human Trip Hazard
At the center of this sad-sack circus? Our unflappable Lt. Dipshit. The guy couldn't spot a setup if it came gift-wrapped with neon signs, Christmas lights, and Santa Claus himself tap-dancing on the ceiling. But hey, at least he's good at
finding more problems
.
Bodies? Sure. Answers? Never. Leadership? HAHAHA, why would we expect that? This man's about as useless as a wet napkin in a hurricane. If he's the only thing standing between us and chaos, then baby, we're ALREADY living it.
The Roasted Rundown: CSI—
Clowns 'Solvin' Incompetently
Let's break it down for Hollywood, who
are absolutely
greenlighting this as their next procedural dramedy. Titles up for debate:
"
Lost Patrol: Everyone'
s Gone and Nobody Knows Why"
"
Law & Disorder:
Operation LOL"
"
GPS Sucks,
But Lt.
Dipshit Sucks Harder"
…or my personal fave:
"NCIS:
WTF Forever"
Every week, a new case unfolds with the exciting theme:
"What Happens When Everyone Drops the Ball Simultaneously?"
Spoiler alert: it's mostly sweaty people shouting over walkies and making excuses to pass the time. The season finale? They discover the officers just left for Taco Tuesday. Boom, roll credits.
Moral of the Mystery
When the most advanced crime stoppers in the country can't stop
themselves
from tripping over their shoelaces, you know we're done. Reboot the comms, retrain the entire department, and maybe—
just maybe
—stop making your own operations harder than finding decent takeout after midnight.
Because let's face it, shrimp: the only thing we know for certain is that
common sense has officially gone missing too.
Takeaways for a Brighter Tomorrow: Don'
t Be This Dumb
Keep tabs on your officers like they're toddlers at a playground—with snacks and lanyards.
Teach Lt. Dipshit how to use a GPS
for real this time.
Maybe hug fewer thugs… unless they're paying extra? I don't know, ask the conspiracy squad.
And hey—as we wrap up this stellar case of
CSI: Can't Solve It,
don't shy from storytelling greatness. Share the mystery, raise a glass to incompetence, and drop these hashtags like it's a crime scene waiting for a sweep:
#CSIClownShow
#GPSLostAndSoAmI
#LawAndWTF
#LtDipshitForMayor
#TinfoilHatSquad
Tag your favorite true crime show and roast responsibly, my friends. Because if there's one thing funnier than this mess, it's the idea of anyone taking it seriously. 🚨🦐