MVL Headquarters – 1:00 AM
In the middle of the warehouse HQ, a massive whiteboard was covered with diagrams, coffee stains, and exactly one horrifyingly detailed sketch of a poodle.
At the top of the board, written in bold red marker:
OPERATION: BRING ME THE BRAT
Blizzard stood in front of it like a college professor with a grudge against society. His team sat in mismatched chairs—some on beanbags, others on crates labeled "Definitely Not Drugs."
He pointed at a photo of a smug-looking teenager with 24-karat AirPods and the dead eyes of someone who thinks a Bugatti is a personality.
"This, ladies and freaks, is the Minister's son: Dorian Delacroix III."
Lightning raised a hand. "Why does he sound like a cologne?"
Selene didn't look up from her laptop. "Because he probably bathes in one."
Blizzard ignored them. "We kidnap him. No blood. No trace. Just... gone. I want him bagged and blindfolded in 48 hours."
Jade raised her hand politely.
"Quick question. Can we also emotionally destroy him while we're at it?"
"Sure," said Blizzard. "Just keep it Instagrammable."
Recon Intel: The Rich Boy's Routine
Selene projected a schedule so absurd it hurt to look at:
5:00 AM – Personal wake-up whisperer6:00 AM – Hot yoga with a Himalayan goat7:30 AM – Diamond-dusted avocado toast8:30 AM – Meditation via underwater flute music10:00 AM – Cry over Bitcoin1:00 PM – Power nap in a cryo-chamber3:00 PM – Pilates with an ex-FBI agent5:00 PM – Online therapy + Fortnite with a psychic life coach
Lightning blinked. "This man is twelve levels beyond help."
Silent Boy held up a sign:
"He has to die. For balance."
"He's not dying," said Blizzard. "He's getting... relocated."
Selene zoomed in on the 5 PM slot.
"The Zen Room. Soundproof. Only one guard. The other one always leaves to cry in the sauna around that time."
"Same," muttered Lightning.
The Plan: Stupidity in Motion
Selene took over the whiteboard. "We create a fake startup called ZenTribe Energy and deliver an exclusive wellness package to the mansion."
"Inside the package: Jade, dressed as a life coach."
"Outside the package: Lightning, dressed as an idiot."
Lightning looked offended. "Why do I have to be the idiot?"
Jade: "Because it comes naturally."
Silent Boy held up another sign:
"We can't all be weapons of mass confusion."
Selene clicked through more slides.
"Meanwhile, I'll be in the van hacking into the house security. The Young One will provide lethal overwatch in case things go sideways. Or upside down. Or sideways upside down."
Blizzard nodded. "Minimum damage. Maximum message."
Lightning held up a glittery juice bottle. "What's this for?"
Selene: "Sedative smoothie. Mango flavor."
Training Montage: Questionable Prep
Cue synth music and absurd fast cuts:
Jade memorizing fake therapy jargon while breaking bricks with her feet."Tell me about your inner child—oops, broke your rib."
Lightning practicing bowing while tripping over his own shoelaces.
Silent Boy making flashcards labeled "Mild Distractions," "Moderate Explosions," and "Nuclear Oops."
The Young One doing target practice with knives, darts, forks, and once... a coat hanger.
Selene coding a fake health app that would give you either inner peace or herpes, depending on Wi-Fi strength.
Blizzard just watched with a mug of black coffee and whispered:
"Idiots. Talented, terrifying idiots."
The Uniforms
Jade unveiled their disguises: crisp white outfits with gold logos that read:
MVL: Morally Variable Life-coaches
"Why do I feel like we're starting a pyramid scheme?" Selene asked.
"Because we kind of are," Jade replied, already printing brochures.
Lightning posed in the mirror. "Do I look trustworthy?"
Silent Boy scribbled:
"You look like you sell fake insurance to cats."
Final Words Before the Storm
Blizzard stood and faced his chaotic crew.
"This is not about money. It's about sending a message."
"That message is: Don't mess with MVL."
Selene tapped her headset. "And also... hydrate."
"Let's move."