Freya woke up to the dulcet sound of a chicken screaming.
To be clear, the chicken wasn't in her room. It was across the street, standing triumphantly on top of a barrel, flapping its wings like it had just won the poultry lottery. It also appeared to be wearing a tiny helmet made of half a coconut shell. Freya wasn't sure if this was a dream, a hallucination, or just Monday.
"Why are the chickens more organized than I am?" she muttered as she rolled out of bed and landed with a thud on the suspiciously squeaky inn floor.
After washing her face in a basin that smelled vaguely of onions and screaming at her system menu to stop updating while she was brushing her teeth, Freya finally managed to equip her basic gear: one slightly chipped sword, a belt pouch full of questionable trail mix, and a pair of boots that may or may not have once belonged to a circus clown.
She returned to the Adventurer's Guild with her now slightly browner potato-ID in hand. Mira, the ever-exasperated receptionist, blinked slowly at the sight of her.
"You again."
Freya held up the potato like it was a royal decree. "I'm here for my first official quest."
Mira didn't even reach for the quest board. Instead, she slid a parchment across the counter labeled: *'Beginner's Errands and Miscellaneous Heroic Tasks: For People Who Might Explode.'*
Freya scanned the list. "Slay three sewer slimes? Escort Old Man Thistle to the bakery? Investigate mysterious quokka sightings?"
She pointed at the last one. "This. This sounds like destiny."
Mira gave her a tired look. "That's the one that's made three adventurers cry and one retire to open a hat shop in the mountains."
"I fear no quokka," Freya said boldly. "Besides, how bad can it be?"
—
Bad. The answer was bad.
The path to the forest clearing where the quokka sightings had been reported was deceptively scenic. Birds chirped. Butterflies flitted. Freya stepped in something that hissed and then crawled away indignantly.
She arrived to find not one, not two, but a *platoon* of quokkas.
They stood in organized ranks. Each one wore a tiny red bandana. One had an eye patch. Another—Freya swore on her potato ID—was wielding a popsicle stick like a sword.
Her system pinged: **\[Quest Updated: Survive the Quokka Revolt.]**
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Freya muttered.
The eye-patched quokka squeaked and pointed dramatically.
The quokkas surged.
Freya did what any seasoned warrior would do in her position: she screamed, flailed, and tripped over a root.
Several minutes of slapstick combat followed. She swung her sword. A quokka parried with a baguette. Another catapulted itself using a spoon and a tree branch. It was like being attacked by fuzzy chaos incarnate.
Eventually, she stumbled into a bush and emerged coated in twigs, dirt, and what she hoped was not mustard.
"ENOUGH!" Freya yelled.
To her surprise, the quokkas froze. The eye-patched one squinted at her.
She slowly held up a granola bar.
"Truce?"
Silence.
The eye-patched quokka nodded solemnly. The others backed off.
Freya collapsed onto the ground as her system pinged again: **\[Quest Complete! You have earned: 5 XP, 1 Respect from the Quokka Resistance, and a Mystery Seed.]**
"What am I supposed to do with a mystery seed?" she groaned.
The quokka saluted her.
—
Back at the guild, Mira stared at her.
"You're alive."
Freya placed the granola-bar wrapper and the seed on the counter. "I come bearing peace tokens."
Mira blinked. "Did you broker an interspecies peace treaty using snacks?"
"Technically, it was a bribe, but yes."
Mira handed her a small bag of coins and a flyer. "You've been invited to the Beginner's Arena Tournament. For... some reason."
Freya's eyes sparkled. "A tournament? With real prizes and glory?"
"Mostly coupons and bruises."
"Close enough."
—
Two days later, Freya stood in the Arena of Aspiring Aspirants, aka a mildly reinforced cabbage field outside town.
Her first opponent? A guy in a bathrobe wielding a broom named Chad the Mage.
Chad swung his broom with the enthusiasm of someone who clearly thought magic was optional.
Freya dodged. "You sure you're a mage?"
"Totally. Watch this!" Chad flung a handful of glitter and yelled, "SPARKLE STORM!"
It achieved nothing except blinding himself and sneezing uncontrollably.
Freya poked him with her sword. He fell over dramatically.
Her second opponent was a twelve-year-old prodigy with a yo-yo that emitted small shockwaves.
Freya lost that round, but only because she got distracted trying to figure out if the yo-yo was sentient.
By the end of the day, she had one win, one loss, and a consolation muffin.
She bit into the muffin. It exploded into confetti.
Her system pinged: **\[Achievement Unlocked: Party Pastry!]**
—
That evening, she sat outside the inn, legs dangling off the porch, flipping the mystery seed between her fingers.
The eye-patched quokka sat beside her, sipping from a thimble of tea.
"So what now?" Freya asked.
The quokka squeaked and pointed at the stars.
Her system pinged ominously: **\[New Quest Available: Retrieve the Legendary Ladle of Luminosity.]**
Freya blinked. "A ladle?"
The quokka nodded.
She sighed. "I guess heroism comes in weird forms."
The quokka raised its thimble.
"To adventure," Freya said, clinking it with her mystery seed.
And somewhere in the distance, a chicken cackled with unearned confidence.