Consciousness returned in waves.
First wave. Pain. Lots of it.
Second wave. Confusion. Location? Unknown.
Third wave. HOLY SHIT.
Trees. Actual trees. Bird sounds. Everything screaming 'fantasy world.'
Keldric wobbled to his feet. Unsteady. Like he'd just been rocked in the octagon.
Dirt crunched beneath him. Fallen leaves. Not his stain-ridden carpet.
Right. So that actually happened.
One moment. Reality glitched. Fell through the void. The next. He was here.
A jolt shot through him. Like lightning rewiring his brain. Not painful. The opposite.
Everything suddenly clicked.
Forest clearing awakening? Check.
Mysterious circumstances? Check.
Protagonist disorientation phase? Complete.
This is it. THE moment. The legendary moment every protagonist experiences.
Time for the moment I've spent my entire sad existence waiting for.
His pulse quickened. Heart hammering against his ribs.
Status window... Come ON! Show me those legendary protagonist numbers!
The interface materialised. Beautiful blue glow. Professional presentation.
Everything looked perfect.
Except. Well. The numbers.
KELDRIC - Level: 1
STR: 4/99 DEX: 6/99 INT: 8/99
CON: 5/99 CHA: 7/99 LUCK: 3/99
Keldric blinked.
Four. Six. Eight. Five. Seven.
Three.
Wait.
WAIT.
THREE LUCK?!
WHAT THE ACTUAL F@#$ IS THIS?!
Aren't I meant to be the HERO?! The one with OP stats?! Super Strong, Super Sexy Hero here to save the world?!
I mean COME ON! There's no way I finally get my wish, and instead of gloriousness, I get this... this PATHETIC character sheet!
This isn't how it works! I'm supposed to be the chosen one! Not... NOT WHATEVER THIS DISASTER IS!
Did I have to get hit by Truck-kun DIRECTLY to get the godly stats package?!
Deep breath Keldric
Skills menu. PLEASE tell me skills has something. ANYTHING. A single redeeming feature.
"Skills!"
The interface shifted.
[Cards] (Unique - Level 1)
[Miniatures] (Unique - Level 1)
[Die of Desperate Measures] (Unique - Level 1)
[Achievements] (Unique - Level 1)
[Isekai Intuition] (Passive)
Five skills. FIVE. Look at all those Uniques!
Heart gave a hopeful flutter.
This is where the system finally pays me back for those horrific stats, and gives me the hidden OP skill. The one that makes sense of those garbage stats.
This is my moment!
He selected [Cards] first.
Collect and play cards to Equip gear, Summon monsters, Use items, cast Spells, gain Passive buffs, and so much more!
Deck: Empty (0/30)
Card Shop: LOCKED - Complete Tutorial Quest
Grading Service: Available at Major Settlements
Oh. My. God. YES! A card-based system! Like a TCG but for everything! I can equip legendary weapons! Summon dragons! This is—
Wait. Empty? Completely empty? Not a single trash-tier common card?
WHAT KIND OF CARD-BASED CLASS STARTS WITH ZERO CARDS?! It's like giving someone a gun with no bullets!
And the card shop is LOCKED?! Behind a tutorial quest?! What tutorial?! Where?!Grading Service? Like... Card condition?
Who cares about card grading when I have NO CARDS?!
Right. Never mind. I Don't even have the cards to worry about that anyways. I'll focus on that later. Well... If there even is a later.
Surely the next one will be better. Has to be better.
[Miniatures]
Sculpt and Paint your vanquished enemies into pocket-sized allies! Defeat creatures to unlock their forms, gather materials, then bring them to life as loyal miniatures to command. Build your tiny army!
Materials: None
Defeated Monsters: 0
Available Crafts: NONE
Current Restriction: Common Rarity Only
Tabletop miniatures! My own army of tiny murder-buddies!
But to use the skill. I first need to kill said monster. And with what? My devastating Strength of 4? Lightning-fast Dexterity of 6? Cosmic Luck of 3?
They couldn't have even given me a starter. Like a cute bunny. A slime. Anything at all.
And even IF I somehow manage to defeat something, I've never sculpted a thing in my life. My best artistic achievement was pasta glued to cardboard in primary school.
Pretty sure that won't cut it for a 'loyal miniature army.' This is just another skill I can't even use yet!
Please. PLEASE tell me the die actually works.
[Die of Desperate Measures]
Call upon the Die! Summon a spectral D20, declare your intent, and let fate decide your outcome. Results vary wildly based on the roll.
Declaration System: Must state intent before rolling. This can be anything. Literally...
Status: Available
Cooldown: Varies based on roll result
A D20! Random chance mechanics! The great equaliser!
And I can declare ANYTHING as my intent. Can I declare "summon meteorite"? "Cast fireball"? "Instantly kill that wolf"?
But "results vary wildly"? The cooldown varies too? Pure chaos. It's probably going to give me a meteor shower that targets my own head on a 1. Knowing my luck, definitely targeting me.
Three luck. Bloody hell.
Right. Two more skills to check. Please be something usable.
[Achievements]
Complete challenges to unlock permanent character upgrades!
Available Achievements:
"Fall off cliff 10 times (0/10)" - +1 Fall Damage Resistance
"Get insulted by 50 NPCs (0/50)" - +1 Charisma
"Survive on bread and water for a week (0/7)" - [Efficient Metabolism] passive
"Explain anime plot to confused medieval NPCs for 1 hour straight (0/60)" - [Cultural Translation] ability
"Get knocked unconscious 25 times (0/25)" - +2 Constitution, [Thick Skull] passive
What. The. Actual. F@#$. These are the ACHIEVEMENTS?
Fall off a cliff ten times? Get insulted fifty times? Explain anime to medieval people?
Whoever designed this system has a seriously twisted sense of humour.
And yet. Actually. They're not completely useless. Permanent stat bonuses. Real abilities. The "get insulted" one would probably happen naturally anyway.
And I could definitely explain anime plots for an hour.
Wait. There was one more thing, wasn't there?
That passive skill.
Probably something equally disappointing, but might as well check everything.
[Isekai Intuition] (Passive)
Comprehensive Isekai knowledge grants enhanced pattern recognition for fantasy world conventions. Detect obvious traps, identify character types, spot death flags, and understand basic world mechanics through genre familiarity.
I BLOODY KNEW IT!
All those hours reading terrible web novels! All that time analysing plot structures! Memorising every possible Isekai cliché!
I can literally see the makings behind this world! Death flags! Character archetypes! Plot armour!
This is the closest thing to cheat codes I'm getting! Genre awareness! Meta-knowledge! A skill that recognises my TRUE expertise!
It's not flashy. Won't help me punch dragons. But it might just keep me alive long enough to figure out how to actually use my other skills.
He dismissed the interface. Stood in the forest clearing. Took a deep breath.
This is it. This is what I've got.
Budget Isekai protagonist. Terrible stats. Empty skills that require work to unlock. A die that might kill me. Achievements that sound like dares from drunk uni students.
But I know these stories better than anyone. The underdog protagonist who starts weak but grows strong through strategic thinking and careful planning.
Time to see my ace in the hole.
He concentrated.
Die of Desperate Measures. Activate!
POP!
Floating above his palm. A D20. Translucent. Twenty sides of pure possibility.
Pure chaos.
Magic surged through it. Real power. The kind that could change everything. Or destroy everything. Possibly both.
This little bastard has the potential to summon a dragon. Or turn me into one. Or turn me into dragon food. With three Luck? Definitely the food option.
The die waited. Patient. Ready to roll destiny.
Better save this for when I really, truly, desperately need it. No point wasting my only reliable weapon on something stupid.
He concentrated once more. And the die vanished.
POP!
Right. Hard mode Isekai it is. But I can make this work. Strategic thinking, genre knowledge, careful resource management.
Confidence building. Strategic thinking, that's what would set him apart from other protagonists who just rushed into—
"WHO DISTURBS MY ETERNAL SLUMBER!"
The roar shook the entire forest. Primal. Terrifying. Like a demon gargling molten lava.
"YES! The stars have aligned! The chosen victim walks willingly into my realm!"
Evil laughter echoed through the trees. Deep, rumbling, absolutely murderous.
Knees went weak.
Right. So much for 'gentle tutorial phase.' Straight to the boss fight, apparently.