Chapter 2
"Insecurity is not a state we are born into, but one we learn throughout life."
— David D. Burns
Already in college, Ailín had one focus: graduating. Matters of the heart didn't cross her mind.
She had started off strong—excellent grades, glowing feedback from professors, especially on her writing and multilingual skills.
Volleyball became her moment of freedom.
The moment she stepped on the court, something changed. She was confident, determined, spontaneous. Her mind was fully immersed in the game, and her energy made others stop and watch.
Meanwhile, Dylan had started showing up at volleyball practices. Every chance he got, he stood nearby, drawn to the new girl who played with such focus and passion. He didn't even know her name, but there was something about her that quietly captivated him.
It didn't go unnoticed. The cheerleaders, who were always orbiting the basketball team, picked up on Dylan's interest and immediately told Vivian, their captain. Curious, she started watching too.
One afternoon, while Ailín was practicing, Andrea—her team captain—walked over with a grin.
"He's completely under your spell," she said.
"Who?" Ailín asked, confused.
"Dylan. From the engineering department. He wants to meet you. Maybe after next practice?"
Ailín froze.
And, like so many times before, Oscurita emerged, her voice sharp and familiar.
"Why would someone like him be interested in someone like you?"
Ailín felt her insecurities swirl like a storm. The memories came back fast and raw.
She was a teenager again, getting ready to go out with friends and some new boys. One of the girls leaned in and whispered:
"Why is she coming with us? She's boring. She doesn't dress like the rest of us. She should just stay so she doesn't ruin it."
Ailín believed her.
She canceled last minute and stayed home. That night, she felt small, defeated, invisible.
Oscurita had taken over for days. Her stomach hurt, her mind was heavy. She missed volleyball. Dylan had asked about her, but Andrea said she wasn't feeling well.
Eventually, Andrea visited her room with a warm cup of tea.
"You're part of this team. We need you. Don't miss your first qualifying match."
Ailín was surprised—by the gesture, the trust, the kindness.
And something shifted.
She made a quiet promise to herself:
Oscurita won't win this time.
She held onto Andrea's words like torches in the fog.
The day of the meeting came.
Andrea led her over to a quiet part of campus where Dylan was waiting, leaning casually against a post. He smiled and extended his hand.
"Dylan."
She replied in kind, but couldn't hold his gaze. Her heart pounded, and then... Oscurita whispered again:
"Look at yourself. Do you really think no one notices?"
Suddenly, another memory crashed into her:
Her tenth birthday.
Sitting on her aunt's lap, feeling safe and happy—until her aunt spoke softly to her husband:
"She's such a special girl… but look at her nose. It's shaped like a cat's paw. We'll fix it when she's older, so she'll be pretty."
Ailín had gone still. Her chest tightened.
She hadn't even understood what was wrong, only that something was.
She never forgot those words.
From that day on, every time someone looked at her too closely, she felt exposed. As if they were staring at that flaw.
As if her face needed to be "fixed."
And now, in front of Dylan… Oscurita echoed the same phrase.
Look at yourself. Do you really think no one notices?
Ailín excused herself quickly. She couldn't even remember his name. Dylan, meanwhile, was more intrigued than ever.
She went back to her room relieved the awkwardness was over. Maybe they wouldn't see each other again. That thought calmed her.
But Dylan kept showing up.
Every time she spotted him, she looked away, heart racing.
Until one day, after practice, he walked straight up to her.
"Why don't you say hi?"
Caught off guard, Ailín apologized softly and promised she would.
From that day on, Dylan made small efforts—simple conversations, light smiles.
"You're headed to the finals, right?"
"Yes, looks like it."
"We're playing ours tomorrow. Will you come watch?"
"I'll try," she said with a shy smile.
He noticed something in her—gentle, nervous, kind. He started watching her more. Looking for her in the gym. Catching glimpses.
And Ailín… noticed too.
Each time, her body tensed. Oscurita would return.
"You don't deserve his attention. You're not enough."
Every interaction became a test.
A battlefield between who she wanted to be… and the voice that kept her small.
At this point, Oscurita had the upper hand.