The Stormterror Bandit had quieted down for a while, but the closer they got to Mondstadt City, the more agitated he became. He started squirming again in the back.
"Do you even know my reputation in the Treasure Hoarders? Let me remind you—I'm the Stormterror Bandit!"
Shao Yun had been happily thinking about what to buy Paimon for dinner with the 100,000 Mora reward when that wretched voice shattered his train of thought.
Enraged, he spun around and smacked the bandit right on the nose.
"You're the Stormterror Bandit? Then I'm the Grim Reaper! Shut up, or I'll turn you into two pounds of poultry and cook you into Sweet Madame. Don't think I won't do it!"
He returned to planning Paimon's dinner while the bandit's eyes flickered with panic—yet he quickly put on a haughty expression, trying to cover his fear.
"I'm the leader of the Mondstadt Treasure Hoarders! Same level as the head in Liyue! Aren't you afraid?"
This guy's mouth never stops! Shao Yun was about to lose it.
"You could say you're Barbatos' son, and I still wouldn't let you go!"
Another solid punch—just enough to daze but not concuss.
He thought that would finally shut the guy up, but the bandit seemed addicted to getting hit and started mumbling again.
"You better never leave Mondstadt, or we'll tear your throat out in the dead of night! I'm telling you—"
Shao Yun yanked out his revolver and slammed the grip against the man's temple.
"I don't care how many of you come—I'll kill them all! You piss me off enough, I'll raid your entire gang and leave no survivors!"
Heavens above. The idea of someone robbing the Treasure Hoarders? That was a first.
Shao Yun's voice was like a blade of ice, stabbing straight into the bandit's nerves.
"You're not scared!?"
Shao Yun tugged on the reins, halted, and grabbed the man's head to force eye contact. His voice was eerily calm.
"I'm scared I'll beat you to death and miss the bounty."
It hit the Stormterror Bandit like a hammer. He froze—completely stunned that Shao Yun didn't care whether he lived or died. His emotionless face made it seem like he was discussing the weather.
From then on, every word earned a punch. Then it escalated—every breath got him hit.
Each blow was a calculated strike with the revolver's grip. Not enough to kill, but painful—like some kind of spoon-wielding maniac. It was pure torture.
The bandit's nerves frayed. Hanging on by a thread, he whimpered:
"I didn't say anything—why are you hitting me!?"
"Raining outside and nothing to do. Beating you is a fun pastime."
That was the last straw. The bandit broke down, wailing uncontrollably.
"Help! I've been kidnapped! You're insane!"
"One more word and I'll knock out all your teeth."
And so, the road to Mondstadt was paved with the Stormterror Bandit's whining and Shao Yun's relentless blows.
By the time they neared the city, the bandit's nose was crooked, teeth shattered, eyes swollen—he didn't even look human anymore.
Crossing the bridge into Mondstadt, the system prompted:
[System: Mounts are not permitted inside Mondstadt City.]
Fine, it's only a few steps anyway.
He recalled his horse into the mobile stable and hauled the bandit over his shoulder like a scruffy one-star deer, carrying him into town.
The two gate guards were stunned—never had they seen a "human" in such a state. They exchanged bewildered glances.
At the Adventurers' Guild reception, Shao Yun propped the barely conscious bandit up like a mummy for Katheryne to examine.
Even well-informed, detail-oriented Katheryne couldn't recognize him. She pulled out a wanted list and nervously compared the face to the photo.
"Shao Yun, um... Tacitus? Is this really the Stormterror Bandit?"
"Guaranteed." Shao Yun patted his chest. "This punk's been yapping the whole way about being the Mondstadt Treasure Hoarders' leader."
"Look closely at his face..." Shao Yun turned to inspect the bandit's face—and froze.
He looked less like a criminal and more like a humanoid creature.
Shao Yun scratched his head, embarrassed. "Okay, maybe I did go a little hard. Let me check something."
Treasure Hoarders had a distinctive insignia—he rummaged through the bandit's pockets and found it: a Golden Raven Insignia.
"Miss Katheryne, this should be proof enough."
Katheryne examined the seal, noting the engraved words "Stormterror Bandit." That sealed it.
"This is definitely sufficient... but... is he still alive?"
Shao Yun pinched a muscle in the bandit's side. The man, presumed lifeless, suddenly shrieked with pain, spitting up blood-streaked saliva.
"See? Alive and kicking."
When the bandit saw Katheryne, he lit up like a man glimpsing salvation. If Shao Yun hadn't restrained him, he'd have dashed into the reception office.
"Miss Katheryne, please—take me in! I beg you! Don't leave me with him even a second longer!"
Though sympathetic, Katheryne shook her head.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Stormterror Bandit. The Adventurers' Guild cannot accept wanted criminals."
Shao Yun laughed heartily and told Katheryne to give the reward to Lumine. He hoisted the bandit and marched toward the Knights of Favonius headquarters.
"Let's go! Time to visit the Knights!"
"Help! I've been kidnapped by a devil!"
They were in Mondstadt's busiest shopping district, so naturally, the shouting drew a crowd.
To avoid trouble, Shao Yun quickly put on a mask.
A patrolling knight saw the growing commotion and rushed to intervene. Spotting a masked man carrying someone, he drew his Favonius sword and blocked the main street.
"Stop! What are you doing!?"
For the first time, the Stormterror Bandit thought he was saved. Like a fish fresh from the river, he began to thrash.
"Sir! Save me! I'd rather be executed under the Statue of the Anemo Archon than spend another second with this monster!"
The knight blinked, confused. Execution? What on earth happened?
Shao Yun, to clear up the misunderstanding, took out the Plunder Raven Seal and explained:
"This guy stole something from the Favonius Cathedral. I'm bringing him in."
But he left it vague—too vague.
The knight's eyes widened in shock, horror flashing across his face.
"What?! Are you saying he stole the Holy Lyre!?"
The words echoed ominously in the air.
Shao Yun blinked—then grinned like the devil.
"Yep. This is the guy."
The crowd erupted instantly, fueled by curiosity and outrage.
The bandit lost it. Sure, people hate me—but don't start making stuff up! That jar I stole is clearly not the Holy Lyre!
"Injustice! Barbatos help me! I may be guilty of many things, but this I didn't do!"
But who in Mondstadt would believe the words of the city's most wanted thief? And a supposed Holy Lyre thief, no less?
The rumor spread like wildfire.
Soon, masses of Mondstadt citizens gathered, shouting for the public execution of this enemy of the state.
If Shao Yun hadn't been holding him, the bandit might've been ripped to shreds.
Suddenly, a group of Favonius Knights arrived—at first glance, seemingly to restore order.
The bandit sighed in relief—until he saw the knights cheering louder than the civilians.
He nearly peed himself.
Shao Yun felt him relax and warned, "You piss on me, and I'll personally slice off your little treasure. The Knights just need you alive—not in one piece."
That shut him up real quick.
Carrying the bandit and leading a mob of angry citizens, Shao Yun arrived at the Knights of Favonius Headquarters.
Gatekeeper Athos saw the crowd and rushed inside to report.
Meanwhile, Shao Yun reached the entrance and yelled:
"Amber! I brought the rent!"
Amber burst out the doors, stunned at the scene before her. Was this an uprising!?
But then she spotted Shao Yun raising the beaten man above the crowd. She hurried down the steps to meet him.
"Shao Yun, you're... huh? Who's this?"
"The Stormterror Bandit." With a grunt, he dropped the man like a sack of potatoes.
Amber couldn't believe it. The leader of the Treasure Hoarders—captured already?
"That fast!?"
"No need to thank me. Consider it rent for me, Lumine, and Paimon living at your place."
The bandit, now a blubbering mess, crawled toward Amber like a maggot.
"Sis! Save me!"
Jean, Lisa, Kaeya, and Noelle emerged—curious about the commotion. Even they had never seen a sight like this.
After hearing the full story, Jean spent considerable effort calming the crowd and then escorted Shao Yun and the bandit inside.
Lying flat, the bandit looked up and, for the first time, found the Favonius Knights comforting. To him, they were practically saints now.
"Dear knights... I'm the Stormterror Bandit, leader of the Mondstadt Treasure Hoarders. If I'm guilty, please hang me."
Then, turning back toward Shao Yun in terror:
"But please, don't let him torture me!"
"I thought we got along pretty well!" Shao Yun removed his mask and smiled. But to the bandit, he looked like the Reaper himself.
Jean was unsure how to feel—grateful that the criminal was caught, or exhausted that her paperwork had just doubled.
"Shao Yun, thank you. We'll take him from here for interrogation." She managed a polite smile.
"I don't even know how to thank you properly."
Hearing the word "interrogation," the bandit was overjoyed. If not for the guards holding him, he might've sprinted there himself.
"Need help questioning him?" Shao Yun grinned wickedly.
The bandit flinched like he'd been struck again, then snapped.
His mouth burst open like a dam, spilling everything.
"Alright, I confess! My real name's Henry, male, 31, from Galesong Hill, unmarried! I like dandelion wine! I can't sleep without a pacifier! Aaaaaand—"
At this rate, Henry didn't need a cell—he needed a padded room.
Before things got worse, Amber, Lisa, and Noelle pushed Shao Yun into the library.
Kaeya was doubled over with laughter, tears streaming from his eyes.
"Hahahaha! The Stormterror Bandit—the mighty leader—scared into a meltdown!"
Jean sighed and rubbed her shoulder.
"Kaeya, the interrogation's yours. Okay?"
"Yes, Acting Grand Master," Kaeya replied with a grin, looking at the bandit like he couldn't wait.
"I have a feeling this is going to be very easy."