Iron Kitchen Arena – Guild of the Glutted Stag
The Iron Kitchen wasn't just a kitchen—it was a battleground.
Carved from dark basalt stone, the entire arena looked like it was forged in a volcano and polished by flame spirits. Twelve industrial-level cooking stations encircled a central fire pit, each equipped with enchanted stoves, gravity-defying spice racks, and chill boxes that emitted frosty mist when opened. A chalkboard to the side bore today's event:
🧑🍳 Daily Challenge: Outsider vs Guildmaster Calven
Theme: "Fusion of Flame and Comfort"
Time Limit: 1 Hour
Judges: Chef Halta (Critic), Ardin the Bearded (Flame Sommelier), and Porthos (Sentient Food Golem)
Jax cracked his knuckles as he stepped into the arena.
Across from him stood Guildmaster Calven—a round-bellied elf with fire-red hair tied into a ponytail and a neckerchief that looked more ceremonial than practical. He twirled a spatula like it was a dagger.
"You may be a 'Master Chef' on paper," Calven sneered, "but the Iron Kitchen judges your soul, boy."
Jax smirked and tied his black headband, lowering it over his brow like a battle flag.
"Good," he said. "Because I came to cook like a damn storm."
🔪 Dish Plan: The Jax Flame Set
Main Course:Kurobuta Tonkatsu (Japanese Black Pork Chop)
Side:Wok-Fried Garlic Chow Fan (Chinese fried rice with magic grain)
Soup:Shoyu Ramen with Fire-Boiled Broth (Roasted bone broth cooked with red ember kelp)
Inspired by the harmony of controlled fire and humble comfort.
🧂 Ingredients (Purchased Yesterday from Market Row):
Kurobuta Pork loin (rare black pig breed)
Arcane eggplant salt (flavor enhancer)
Inferno lotus oil (for searing)
Ember kelp and cracked dragon bone (for ramen broth)
Iron basil, shadow chives, and blue garlic (herbs)
Star-grain rice infused with mana
Pickled sun radish
Golden soy, black vinegar, and miso cubes
Wild quail eggs (for ramen top)
Red ember mushrooms (fire-kissed flavor)
All packed into his invisible GMod-style inventory. Jax opened his wrist interface, dragging the items out one by one, letting them land cleanly on the counter to the crowd's impressed gasps.
"Inventory magic?" someone whispered from the stands. "No… that's not magic. That's… something else."
🔥 Guildmaster Calven's Dish – The Inferno Banquet
Main Course:Molten Auroch Roast – A thick slab of fire-cured Auroch meat, infused with brandy flames and seared with fire spirits that danced across the roast like living torches. Crusted with obsidian pepper and volcanic rock salt.
Side:Ashen Saffron Risotto – Cooked in bone broth with ashen barley and a reduction of lava orchid nectar. Finished with grated spirit cheese.
Dessert Bonus:Flaming Soulfruit Glaze – A sharp, spicy-sweet sauce meant to contrast the heavy main and cleanse the palate.
Calven worked with speed and style. His hands moved with confidence born of decades in the kitchen. His risotto shimmered like molten gold. He carved the roast like a general commanding respect from each slice.
"Let the flames speak," he whispered, sending a plume of fire across the plate before presenting it.
The crowd cheered.
⏱️ The Cook-Off Begins
T-minus 59:55.
The flames roared.
Jax moved fast—every motion calculated. He marinated the pork in golden soy, garlic paste, and crushed ember mushrooms. With the breading, he opted for a double fry using inferno lotus oil—once at 150°C to seal the fat, once at 200°C to crisp it into a perfect golden shell. It sang when he sliced through it.
He dumped star-grain rice into a wide wok, cracking eggs mid-air, letting the yolk land directly. The wok flared as he tossed garlic, green onions, and just a splash of black vinegar. Rice leapt with each wrist flick, separating into glistening grains coated in savory bliss.
Meanwhile, his ramen broth boiled in a cauldron, layered with dragon bone and ember kelp. The flavor deepened with each bubble, darkening like smoked earth. He soft-boiled the wild quail eggs, slicing them perfectly so the golden yolk glistened like molten sunlight.
He didn't rush.
He commanded the kitchen.
Across the arena, Calven had summoned fire spirits to sear a flaming beef roast served on molten stone, with sides of infernal risotto and candied root. It looked impressive. Flashy.
But Jax? Jax had soul.
When the gong sounded, both dishes were rolled forward to the judges' table.
🍽️ The Judging – Jax's Turn
Jax's Plate:
Kurobuta Tonkatsu: Juicy Japanese pork chop, double-fried in inferno lotus oil.
Chow Fan: Wok-fried garlic rice with mana-grain and savory black vinegar.
Shoyu Ramen: Fire-boiled broth made with ember kelp and cracked dragon bone, topped with a golden half-boiled quail egg.
Steam lifted from the dishes like prayers.
Judge Halta took a bite of the pork first. The audible crunch echoed across the chamber.
She blinked. Chewed again. Then dropped her fork. "This crust… it's alchemy."
She immediately grabbed her notebook. "Balanced salt, deep umami. The pork—moist, tender, and seasoned all the way through. Did you vacuum-infuse the marinade?"
"I crushed the bone and used residual heat soak," Jax replied, casually. "The grain carries it inward."
Halta looked like she wanted to cry. "Do you have any idea how hard that is to pull off under one hour? You... you bastard."
Ardin the Bearded tasted the ramen. He swirled it. Sipped once.
Then again.
Then... again.
He slowly lowered his spoon. "You roasted the bones before boiling," he murmured, "then skimmed the top thrice... and you included ember kelp only at the last ten minutes to avoid bitterness."
Ardin turned slowly. "Who trained you? This is soup fit for the Flame King's court."
Porthos the Sentient Food Golem picked up a piece of chow fan and slowly inserted it into his glowing mouth-grill. The gears inside his throat rotated with low hums. His mechanical eyes pulsed.
He placed one massive hand on the table. Then the other.
And knelt.
"…I have eaten many things," the golem rumbled. "But this… this is home."
The entire crowd gasped.
Even Calven stared, his eyes twitching.
🔄 Now Calven's Dish
Judge Halta took a slice of the Molten Auroch Roast and raised a brow. "Searing with fire spirits again, Guildmaster?"
Calven smirked. "Only way to honor the meat."
She chewed, nodding slightly. "Mm. The crust is bold. Deep flavor, layered smoke. I see the volcanic salt is well-used."
Ardin tasted the Ashen Risotto, savoring it with a slow swish of his tongue. "Excellent umami. A touch heavy, but you balance it with acidity from the nectar. Though—slightly over-simmered."
Porthos gave a polite nod after sampling the dessert. "This concludes elegantly. Efficient, powerful. But... missing soul."
That word hung heavy in the air.
👨🍳 Calven Tastes Jax's Dish
Without a word, Calven stepped forward.
He picked up a fork, eyeing Jax's Tonkatsu with a prideful frown. He sliced a corner, placed it into his mouth—
And froze.
CRUNCH
His eyes widened. He chewed. Once. Twice. Then again.
"…damn."
He reached for the chow fan, scooped it alongside a strip of pickled sun radish, and paired it.
"…damn twice."
Last came the ramen. He slurped, his expression unreadable. For a long moment, he said nothing. Just stared into the bowl like it held a memory.
"My mother," he said suddenly. "She used to make broth like this. Before she passed."
He exhaled hard, then looked up.
"You've got the hands of a warrior," Calven said, tone quiet but firm. "But your soul... it's of the kitchen."
He extended a hand.
Jax took it.
🏅 Victory Declared: Outsider Jax
The arena roared. Chefs, nobles, and travelers stood and applauded.
Banners of the Glutted Stag shimmered with magical sigils as a brass emblem floated down—Jax's new token of recognition: a Flame Stag Sigil, branded with glowing culinary runes.
"By Guild Law," Judge Halta declared, "Jax of No Known House is granted rank as Flameblade Chef, with access to all ingredients, kitchens, and culinary archives of the Stag!"
📱Group Chat: JIGGLYPUFFS
🟢 Status: Active
👥 Members: Jax, Alex, Riley, Kael, Dane (recently unbanned)
Jax has changed the group icon to a flaming pork cutlet wearing sunglasses.
Jax [DPS / Arsenal Maniac]:
🔥🍜 I HAVE ASCENDED. 🐷🔥
Officially Flameblade Chef of the Glutted Stag.
They gave me a rune-brand sigil, a key to their pantry, and one of the judges CRIED INTO HIS RAMEN.
Riley [Hacker / Strategist]:
Wait what.
You joined a fantasy cooking guild and now you're like, what? Top Chef of Thalmoor?
Lmao what is this Food Wars
Kael [Tank / Brawler]:
YOU DID A COOKING BOSS FIGHT WITHOUT ME??
I WANTED TO SMASH A SENTIENT STOVE OR SOMETHING
Alex [Tactician / Support]:
Please clarify:
Did you provoke a culinary duel with a guildmaster?
Win it?
And are now legally allowed to storm kitchens across the realm like a licensed food warlord?
Jax [DPS / Arsenal Maniac]:
✅ Provoked duel
✅ Beat elf Iron Chef with pork and vibes
✅ The food golem knelt before me
✅ The guildmaster tasted my ramen and saw his dead mom
✅ I now have full access to Thalmoor's Culinary Archives
Dane [Berserker / Chaos]:
Does this mean you can cook... like… napalm bread?
Or scorpion-flavored hot sauce that makes people hallucinate death?
Jax [DPS / Arsenal Maniac]:
Yes to both.
Also I may or may not have invented double-fried inferno tonkatsu using oil from a lotus that screams when you heat it.
Gonna call it JaxFilley Cutlet.
Kael:
😵 Bro made pork so good the flame spirits stopped fighting and started clapping
Riley:
Okay but real question—
When do we eat?
Also, can you legally weaponize ramen?
Jax:
In progress. 🔥
Already working on broth bombs and rice ball shrapnel.
But first… I'm gonna need one of you to come with me into the spice vault.
I think the cinnamon's alive.
Alex:
I vote we promote Jax to official team Culinary Weapons Expert.
…Because this is now a thing we apparently need.
Kael:
DUDE THAT MEANS HE CAN MAKE EXPLODING CROQUETTES!!
LIKE BOOM SNACKS!!
Jax:
Exploding croquettes… noted. 😈
Prepare your stomachs. Thalmoor has just gained its first official Combat Chef.
And boys?
We feast. 🍖🔥🍜
Riley renamed the group to:
🔥 JIGGLYPUFF'S HELL KITCHEN 🔥
Kael reacted with: 🍗💥
Dane reacted with: 🔪🔥😈
Alex edited Jax's role to: DPS / Arsenal Maniac / Culinary Weapons Expert