As the summer breeze was rolling by, and as I stood there in the middle of the benches not too far from the main highway. The wind itself was hot, making me sweat completely; even though I am already wearing a sleeveless shirt and dark blue jeans. I was lost in thought and trying to process what has happened to me so far. I was out here stuck in the middle of nowhere, in a well established outdoor park covered in forest, known as the "Silver Fall State Park". Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed nature sceneries; especially when I needed to go somewhere just to vent.
Click! Click! Click! As the tip of the lighter sprang to life as I light my cigarette, I took a good whiff at it…and slowly exhaled with satisfaction in my eyes.
"Fuck….finally! I really got to get me another lighter." I shook the lighter to see if there is any fluid left, but hearing no sound at all I threw it near the trash bin.
Looking back at these couple of years of my life, I started to realize something…and that is regret in my heart. After joining a band group called "Leila and the Mischievous," and befriending the guitar lead, Leila Malcolm. I thought I had it all planned out? Going out and traveling the world, seeing new places, and greeting new people along the way; yet only to realize that such exciting adventures must come to an end. I couldn't recall how I winded up here in this park all alone, yet somehow Leila chose to kick me out of her band, leading towards the ending of my relationship. I guess I had myself to blame…. But I am getting way ahead of myself.
"Why does my life…suck?" I said to myself, while sitting on top of the bench in a crouch position. "The first thing I wanted to do was to get away from Oregon and travel the world for one's…yet to only get thrown back to the least expected state I never thought of returning too in the first place."
I took another whiff of my cigarette, finishing it completely. I now realize something else as well, and that was how I abandoned my dear old Friend, Max; all because of a stupid grudge of us wanting to settle down somewhere and make a living as a couple. To be honest I was afraid…afraid of being alone forever, after losing my dear mother by the storm that blew over Arcadia Bay. I chose to run away from all that and with Max by my side, I thought of us growing up and living the freelancing life of traveling and exploring new places. However, during our traveling years, she and I drifted apart slowly….
(Flashback)…. "Come on! Max, are you really going to throw our exciting adventures away just for a messily job at this so-called Caledon…University?" I said, looking at max with an annoying look.
"Chloe is not like that," Max replied, trying to keep the situation calm. "Besides Chloe, look at us, we need to think of our future together. And I am barely scraping by with my freelancing photography work, and yet I am not making enough money at all, and we can't depend on you since you hardly work at all, and when you do…you only make a bare minimum."
I shot back, not wanting to hear more of what Max, had to say about me… "Hey, don't you dare put the blame on me."
Max was scared to see this other version of me, as I slowly paste back and forth in the motel room we were staying at. Since we had exhausted our finances, and had nowhere else to go to. She brought up a job opportunity at a university that offers housing where we can live comfortably and enjoy the rest of our lives in peace for once….but I wasn't ready at all. I want to be free, and yet Max, wanted us to live a happier life in one place, instead of wandering aimlessly to areas we aren't familiar with.
"So that's it, huh? You made up your mind already…." I said, with a cold demeanor.
"Chloe that is not what I meant. I want us to built a life together….why can't you understand that?" Max replied, with a pleading look.
Seeing Max begging me to understand, I chose the ladder. I chose to walk out on her, just to cool my head off…. "I need some air."
"Wait!? Chloe, where are you going?"
"Out," I said, as I closed the door behind me.
I needed to clear my head, and decided to take a stroll down the peaceful highway. It was there that I spotted an old established bar that was not too far from the motel, semi crowded and in it the sign that read, 'Ishmael's snake Bar'….
"Cool, a bar....maybe a drink would help me to have a clear head for one's." I approached the bar, mesmerized by the layout of the building's structure.
The building was old, but had drawn out a good crowd, but inside I heard music playing and in the side bulletin was written…. "Leila and the Mischievous, now playing live….new comers… welcome, with a 50% discount on drinks tonight."
I was curious but decided to make my way inside, the door was semi open, and the crowd was wild as the band was performing. Some were whistling, others were shouting, and a few where jumping to the rhythm of the music while holding their beers in an upward position.
"Ok, GUYS!!! Give me a WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" said the main guitarist, who was in the center stage performing alongside her band mates.
"WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" shouted the crowd, whom they all seem to be enjoying themselves until finally the band was finished with their song.
"Ok everyone, me and my band mates are going to be taking a break….so sit back and relax, for there is more to come." Said the female guitarist, as she and her female group mates all walked down from the stage; while everyone was giving out their loudest cheer.
I didn't stick around and decided to take a seat near the beer dispensary and wanting to get something to drink for one's. But, as it turns out, I wasn't in the mood for a drink and decided to stare at the different variety of brands that this bar has to offer….
"I would recommend the 'Low-life Lite'…" said the female lead, as she surprised me while taking a seat next to me. "I'm Leila by the way, and who might you be….such a sweet handsome girl…such as yourself?"
"Wow, um….its Chloe….Chloe Price." I answered as I shook her hand.
"Hey, bar man… 2 Low-Life beers! Please!" She shouted, right after giving me a rough pat on the back.
"You got it!" responded the Bartender.
Seeing the bartender going underneath the table stool you can hear clinking of the beer glass's, as he opened the refrigerator door. And in it he pulled out two dark bottle beers and like a ninja….popped them right up.
"Here you are ladies…." He said, as he laid the two beers in front of us.
Leila after seeing the beer fizzling, she immediately grabbed the bottle and jugged it down her throat like water. I felt mesmerized, of seeing her like that; reminding me so much of Rachael Amber. And as she finished jugging down her beer, she insisted that I too take a good sip as well.
"AH!!!! Nothing but a fresh cold beer to brighten your night, wouldn't you agree?" She said, with determination. "Well? Come on! Don't be shy, it's on me girl."
"Are you sure?" looking confused at her gesture, even though we barely met.
"Well, yeah! This one is on me," looking all jittery. "Drink up!"
I wasn't in the right mind to drink, even though I omit wanting to go out for a drink in order to clear my head right after having that extreme fight with Max.
"Well….SHIT! What the heck…" As I reached for the beer, and as soon as I pressed my lips on it, I can hear Leila cheering me on.
"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Woo!!!"
"You are right, that was refreshing." I replied, feeling that adrenaline rush from within me as I finished my beer completely.
It was there that she and I deeper into this awkward conversation, and almost 30 minutes we stood there talking about our personal lives that we ended noticing some similarities in life. She and I both wanted the same thing; we didn't want this traveling life to not come to an end. In fact, we got so acquainted that she even asked me if I am willing to accompinate her in this incredible tour, with her mischievous band on the road trip to areas that are hiring them to perform….
"I totally understand where you're getting at, Chloe. And I see that you have been through a lot on this incredible journey of healing. However, you don't want this incredible adventure to end right?" She asked looking all sincere for the first time.
I was deeply disturbed by her approach on this matter, and I proceed to give her my honesty, "Well put it bluntly, I came on this incredible journey to explore and find ways to make a living easily as I travel the long Ventura highway."
"But what is holding you back, Chloe? Surely, you aren't just here at this bar seeking attention. There is something else…isn't it?" she said, leaning closer to me and meeting my gaze.
"Fine, you want to know something? Well, here it is…my best friend, whom I been in a relationship with…wants us to settle down and find descent jobs. However, instead of telling me honestly how she felt of us traveling all the time. She took it upon herself and took an offer from this so-called prestigious school located in Vermont, without telling me. It led for us to get into this heated argument. I asked her to reconsider of accepting this job in a state that she is not familiar with, and yet she wasn't having any of it. So, I chose to walk out, just to clear my head." I said, while channeling my anger.
It was then that she asked me a simple question that will lead me to make this final decision in life, that is. "Tell you what, Chloe? How would you feel like coming along with me and my group mates on this so-called band tour across the state? Thought, we could use someone like you, and knowing little about you. Maybe you know a thing or two of how to play any sort of musical instrument?" She asked, as she was reaching out for my hand.
"Um, going out with you and your band mates to this so-called tour of yours?" I replied, having this worried thought.
"Uh-huh, so do you wanna come?"
"Um, yeah. I am down to come with you wherever you are going next. And just to be clear I do have some experience playing the Bass guitar and Drum sets."
"Great! The teammates will be delighted to hear that we have a new replacement to take over our recent bass player, who, sadly had to retire due to having a bad cram in their hand; leading them unable to play bass ever again." Looking all delighted as she lean in close to me and planted me a soft kiss on my lips.
It felt as though a gut punch in the stomach, a sign that will shatter my relationship with Max. Therefore, I decided to return to the hotel at the croak of midnight; knowing full well that Max was already fast asleep by the time I got back. Sadly, I chose to run away from this faltering relationship, and as I gathered all of my belongings; I quickly ran to the two minivans where "Leila and the Mischievous" where already getting their gear ready for their next gig that was in another state. Leila obviously, was expecting me, and was delighted to see me back. The only thing that I ever held on with me was my two duffle bags, and a picture that I chose to keep with me of Max and I, when we were in Arizona visiting my Stepdouche for the first time in a while.
Once, I stepped foot inside the minivan, I took a good look at the building where Max was staying. Without thinking I chose to send her a brief message…
CHLOE: Dear Max, If you do get this message by the time you awaken from your slumber…know this. I chose to go on this so- called journey on my own. Its not you….its me. I felt that this relationship between us died out after we left our hometown of Arcadia Bay, behind. I want you to be happy as well, and not having me around as a burden for your dreams to come true. We had fun, while it lasted, and I hope you find good friends that will truly treat you right, and accept you for who you are. Take care, and I hope you find happiness wherever you go, and hopefully someone who truly loves you, as I did. Goodbye Max, and remember.... don't be a stranger. Luv Chloe
I clicked send, and with tears streaming down my face; I felt as though I did the right thing. Letting go of Max, was something I didn't thought this through; but it was for the best. And hopefully she will focus on the job that was offered to her at the prestigious Caledon University.
Looking back at that time….the day I ended my relationship with Max; things weren't the same for me. Not even in the long run with Leila, for we were together in this intimate moment for a couple of years; yet only to realize that her focus was to live wildly and freely without a care in the world.
"Hey there are you Ok?" said the mysterious young stranger.
This mysterious strange person, looking a lot younger than me approached me looking all confused and semi-worried about me. By the way she looks, I can tell that she is stressed-out and with a semi-worried look. However, she was right here speaking to me for the first time, and not to be rude….I did what I dare not do and that was reply to her question.
"Um, where you referring to me?" looking all confused as I scouted my surrounding.
"Duh! Who else would it be? And you're the only person here." She said with a screeching tone.
"No!?" I answered with annoyance.
"And why is that?" she shot back, giving me that glance of annoyance.
"Well first off, I end up joining my ex and her band group on a tour for a couple of years, and the next, I end up getting stranded here out of sheer luck, after they decided they had had enough of me and my so-called annoyances in life," I replied, with sadness in my heart.
"Oh, I am truly sorry about that. I was just minding my own business, and the next thing I know I spotted you here all mumbling to yourself about something." She said, showing me sympathy…. "You mind if I sit here? I need a smoke."
"Uh, sure….by all means, go right ahead." Gesturing for her to sit down, as I made my way down and sat properly on the bench itself.
"Thanks…." as she took a seat right next to me. "What's your name? If you don't mind telling me?"
"It's Chloe….Chloe Price." I answered by shaking her hand slowly.
"Pleasure to meet you, Chloe Price, my name is Lyla Park…"