Summer is on its last legs. The afternoons aren't as intense, the flowers are less bright, and the days are starting to look dull.
It's been weeks since Saelow's escape, weeks since Emelia's death. My mind still can't fathom how cruel Saelow has become. No longer does my heart ache for him... no longer do I feel the need to protect him... no sisterly love—just disdain.
It's also been weeks since Kaelen kissed me. When I think of that moment, something awakens in me. Want. Yearning. Desire...
I find myself running my thumb over my lips, trying to remember the sensation of his lips on mine, but the memory feels more like a dream than reality.
I've been avoiding Kaelen like my life depends on it, even going as far as sleeping in another room in the suite.
I hear the maids whispering among themselves. Some say I've fought with Kaelen, others that I'm grieving. A few even say it's because I'm a traitor. I ignore them all. Their words mean nothing to me. And yet...
Since Emelia's death, I'm more guarded, more aware of the people around me. I take note of those who support me—and those who don't. It saddens me that most betrayals lately have come from my own.
"Do you wish for me to take out a dress for you to wear at dinner?" Friya's voice pulls me from my thoughts.
Friya has been urging me to take walks in the courtyard and dine with Kaelen in the hall for some time now, but I always refused. Today, I finally feel like I can't keep myself a prisoner anymore.
"Fine," I say, to her obvious delight. "But have Hannah do my hair. I like the way she does it."
"I'll call for her right away!" Friya claps excitedly.
An hour later, I'm making my way down the stairs in a light yellow dress. It wasn't my first choice, but Friya insisted on it. It's off-the-shoulder, with sleeves that drape just below my arms and a neckline far too exposed for my liking.
I enter the dining hall to find it empty. Kaelen is usually already seated when I arrive.
"Is Kaelen coming today?" I ask one of the footmen, noting the table is set for two.
"I believe the Lord Commander will arrive shortly," the footman replies, eyes never leaving the ground even as he backs away.
Just then, Kaelen walks in briskly. He's wearing a black shirt and simple black pants, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He stops mid-step when he sees me. His gaze settles on me, and there's a soft smile on his lips that unsettles me in a way I can't explain.
"You look..." Kaelen starts, taking in the sight of the dress.
"Umm... you're late," I say, avoiding his gaze.
"I didn't think you'd be joining me tonight," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. I just nod and move to my place at the end of the table.
"Actually, wait," Kaelen says, stopping me. "Take the queen's plate and place it next to mine," he instructs one of the footmen.
"There's no need for that," I protest, but the footmen are already moving, transferring my cutlery to the seat at Kaelen's right.
"I've always found it strange—two people eating so far apart. What's the point of sharing a table then?" he muses, leading me to the seat and pulling the chair out for me.
"Shall we begin?" he asks once seated.
"I don't see a reason not to," I reply.
Kaelen seems more animated than usual—it's almost unnerving, like he's someone else entirely.
"You know the best place to have seafood? Gravia. It's off the coast. Beautiful town. Some of the best food you'll ever eat," he says as I eat in silence.
"Peculiar how I never liked pheasant as a child, but enjoy it now as an adult," he continues, his tone light.
"Seems like I'm carrying the conversation for both of us," he chuckles as dinner nears its end.
"You kissed me," I say suddenly, brows furrowed.
"Yes. And?" He has the audacity to grin.
"I thought you wouldn't force intimacy on me. There's a contract, remember?"
"Ah, well. Then you'll have to argue—was the kiss forced? Because I distinctly remember waiting for your consent."
"Waiting isn't the same as asking."
"Then I must apologize. Next time, I'll ask before I kiss you."
"Next time? There won't be a next time."
"There was a first. Who's to say there won't be a second?"
"I had temporarily gone insane the first time. I won't be making the same mistake twice," I snap.
Kaelen wipes his mouth slowly, deliberately, with his napkin. Then he leans forward, his face mere inches from mine. His scent—musk and something familiar—fills the air.
"You talk about insanity while wearing this," he says, voice low. "Tell me—what man could keep his senses around you, when you look like every man's fantasy?"
"Excuse me?" I manage, but I don't move. His gaze holds me there.
"What if I kiss you again? Will you stop me?" he asks.
I say nothing. My mouth goes dry.
Kaelen's fingers graze my cheek, and his thumb finds my lips.
"Do you know how many nights I've thought about these lips?"
"Kaelen... you've had too much to drink," I finally say, pushing his hand away.
"Really? Your glass is fuller than mine," he points out.
I glance down. He's right. Mine is just a sip away from being empty while his is basically full.
"Let's fix that, shall we?" he says, finishing off his wine.
"Kaelen, what's gotten into you?" I ask. "You're... different."
"I'm done fighting," he says simply.
"Fighting what?"
"This pull you have on me," he says, gaze intense. "I'm finally giving in to it."